Good story. But it's really short and it seems like you're hurrying so much. For example you should have written a part of the kids' conversation and don't use reported speech all the time.
Hope that helps
~everdreamsAuthor's Response: Thanx I have only written mabey five short stories in my life so mabey i will slow down. Thanx for the help! : ) Report Review
its great keep goingAuthor's Response: Thanx! : )
Hey! When are you going to read my other story!? Luv ya, SkyeAuthor's Response: Actually I am going there right now. Luv Ya!!!
What's up withall the "exactly four minutes and three seconds", or whatever?? Like, they don't even get off the train, but they goto bed! And the title is twenty seven hour train ride and the train ride doesn't last that long. But I likeed iit.From Mandy PAuthor's Response: Well the reason why I usde all ove the yatta yatta five min. or whatever is so that i would take up some more words but thanx 4 the review
That was weird, but good...nice one.Author's Response: Thanx! :-)
Hey Cassie, That rocks! Good job!
I love your pen name!!! You are cool!
Loooove, Nicole~ooops, Emma_Star!!Author's Response: Thanx. And I didn't know that you were Nicole, but I have read all of your reviews on Skyes and I was trying to figure out who you were. But anyways, thanks for the review. :-) Report Review
Hey buggie boo boo!! That was so cute!! Luv you!
P.S. It took me APPROXIMATELY two minutes and 38 seconds to read this story.----LOL!!! : )Author's Response: Thank you Pooh Bear! :-) Did I spell that wrong in the story? Report Review
Sorry, I messed up in my other review. I said it was blood briliant, but I meant it was bloody briliant. Good job!! If you send back that e-mail, I can get you a banner. ~ Iced_Cherries (Skye) (Your Cousin) : )Author's Response: Thanks for all of the encouragement. I am trying to think of another chapter. Once i get it I will tell you. Report Review
OMG!!!! That was blood briliant!!! Way to go!! Keep up the good work!!! Update soon!! (Click on Iced_Cherries to read my stories)
~ Iced_Cherries (Skylar) : )Author's Response: Like I didn't know how to read your stories! "lol" Thanx 4 the review. Report Review
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