wow! write more please!! Report Review
I would like to see more soon. Report Review
this story sound cool, it definitely has potential, but only if the chapters start to get a little longer. Report Review
pretty good, but too short Report Review
just keep working! Report Review
I am going to be rather offensive and I don't mean any of my comments to heart but:
Its a total shame you haven't edited this, it makes such a great story a total disaster. If you please, PLEASE fix up the speech without the quote marks and capitalise your i's then that will make it easier for the readers to read. the whole thing looks incredibly scruffy. edit it and I might advise you to do another chapter.
Good idea though.
And just edit it a bit and it will be wonderful.
Two words: QUOTATION MARKS Report Review
Whoa... you need to proofread before you post... there were alot of problems with the language mechanics, punctuation, and spacing. I think you have a good beginning, but the poor english skills will keep people from sticking with the fic. I like it, but you need to fix these problems. Report Review
its great keep going Report Review
I really liked it. It definitely made me want to read more. When is the next chapter coming out?????Author's Response: well im curently reading a story by Vloyski its brilliant you should read it if you havent alredy but any ways pretty soon i think and thanx a lot for the comment!!
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