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Reading Reviews for O Sleepy Shores by the Sea
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Padfootfan777 One Life to Live

17th October 2007:
nice job


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Review #2, by Order One Life to Live

30th September 2006:
I feel like quoting you all the way. Seriously I love your sentences; they are so beautiful and deliver at the same time. I had to read the story twice to take it all in and still have to often scroll back up. Your descriptions are really awesome. I don’t know how you can get so much out of your imagination into the words. I never seem to be able to do that. You didn’t really go deep into the story but the way you packed so much in there is just unbelievable. I would really love to tell you about the story but I don’t know what to say other that; an excellent story written beautifully. I have to read your other works now.

Author's Response: Order, Thank you so very much! It is quite the honor to receive such a fresh review. You may be absolutely correct in remarking my story only ripples across the surface of the pond, and I would like to revise this piece and make it a little longer. I have thought how nice it would be to "take a leaf out of a book" and have this chapter be the one that leaves a lasting impression! I am excited and elated this first reading entranced you enough to leave me with so glowing and caring a review!! You are truly a kind and thoughtful person, Order! I am only sorry I did not respond to this sooner! Matt

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Review #3, by maggiegranger One Life to Live

9th June 2006:
First I'd just like to tell you that I deeply enjoyed this story. I read it as a recommendation of Joela's. It wasn't a personal recommendation, but I have been reading and loving her work for about four or five years now, so I tend to not only love what she loves to write, but love what she loves to read. This is no exception. You write so beautifully and naturally. It's a very unique style that flows perfectly and allows the reader to effortlessly envision the scene you write. The one criticism I'd have would be your use of vocabulary. Though it is extended, and don't get me wrong, it's something I admire, it tends to act as a barrier when trying to visualize the description. I know that your eloquent word choice is one of the factors which makes your work come off as sophisticated and poetic, but there may be instances when a simpler synonym might be more appropriate to convey what you are trying to portray. If a reader is unsure of the word which you're using to describe something, as perfect as that word may seem to you, it could possibly confuse them. I know that it must've been difficult to write a story with virtually no dialogue, and therefore create a scene which must capture and hold the readers attention, and I just feel that it would be an easier read if the words didn't require so much concentration. But then again, I'm not sure if I myself would've been as captivated by your writing had you used a more informal diction.

Regardless of that factor, you do write elegantly and the scene you created was perfect in its simplicity. You took such detail to describe everything each characters gave met, as well as every feeling or thought that entered their body. You could empathize for the couple who was so full of love, yet so tainted by their past experiences.

I've never really been a fan of Ginny and Harry, only because the portrayal of their relationship takes place when they're young and doesn't really have and solid substance. But the way you captured it and wrote it as being mature and real, free of fluff while full of angst was both realistic and accurate. You should be very proud of your ability to create mood and atmosphere as well as effectively expressing characters thoughts and feelings. This story was near flawless. Congratulations on excellent work..=)

Mags

Mags

Author's Response: Mags, thank you very much for your review! And like you, I admire all the work Joela does on this site and I am a fan of all her stories!! I always come away from her work with something meaningful and long-lasting.

Your comments on my word choice have certainly turned on a lightbulb in my head! Thank you for telling me what you felt about the descriptions. I can sympathize with you that I didn't really know how I would convey this story and which audience would be most willing to accept it! I've always known I had to be more fluent and less mechanical with my writing, and this story is no exception! I admire your open criticism, it's just what I need to go back and revise this piece.

Your words have spoken to me with this review. I admire your keen eye and will cherish what you've said. I try to capture the feelings of people without making the characters appear full of fluff, but rather, as you say, "mature and real." Thanks so very much for reading this short piece of fiction and for reviewing with such an open mind. You can't imagine how much it means to me!! Matt


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Review #4, by Joela One Life to Live

6th June 2006:
There aren’t words to describe my reaction to this story. I’m not a shipper and when I recognize relationships in the HP world they are always the ones JK develops. And however I’ve never been a fan of Ginny Weasley I am moved by your use of her. It wasn’t about the shell of a character we see when she moves about on the marionette strings that are attached to JK’s pen, oh no, this was about a real character who feel and lives and touches people. I must also add that I’m a sucker for the ocean, in all it’s forms and ways…so I could be Ginny standing at the edge watching the waves of never-ending-less fantasy crash against that which is real. *sigh* You captured that on a level I’ve never been able to express, so even without the other amazing things happening on an emotional level I’m connected to this piece. It’s raw and without meaning, and you have it – you tamed it, you even described it!


Please let me linger on this: It was the visage of a man who, by all the laws of Nature, could not muster the bare and essential qualities of fruitful love, and yet, the passion with which he now greeted his adorned wife, would mislead even the most conceited of fools ... Brilliant description. Matt! You summed up a huge potion of what makes Harry – Harry (from his childhood through his maturing years) in one bold statement…it’s amazing. I’ve always wondered how Harry would be able to express something he never received.


With this line I had to pause and gather my strength: ‘What have we done to reach this point, and where must we go from here?’ To anyone who’s been in love there is always moment where you wonder – how did it all come to his. For this couple on a much grander level then the rest of us just trying to keep our heads above water and have fun while trying to fight life. There is a moment in a relationship where one wonders, how did this happen – and if they haven’t they aren’t in love or have no meaning or reason for where they are going…that is no sense of self awareness. With this one light you struck a very sensitive and raw area of my personal being and I had to keep from honestly tearing up by getting wrapped up in these character and their feelings.


And finally this: Wishing no longer to ponder these things, she averted her eyesight to the rippling waves in the distant sea, a place she knew she could always find limitless solace. I don’t think anyone who’s lived and really appreciated it couldn’t accept this very line – of course that is the soul trapped inside of me that isn’t staring at the ocean right now and getting lost in its depths.


This piece is so packed with emotion that it’s more like the length of a full feature film and a couple thousand word one-shot. You’ve encompassed so much of the characters – their feelings – and their lives that this is more the embodiment of their relationship that the JK could have expressed in the whole novel (but I’ve already told you I think you are superior to her). And secretly you make me like Ginny and Harry together. :-) Please, please do not stop writing. ~Mandy


Author's Response: Mandy!! You always read so beautifully into my writing, I am only amazed by your lucidity! Whatever the reasons you have for not arriving at these stories sooner, rest assured I accept your apologies... I am a patient person, one who can wait for the criticism of others!! Thank you, you bring tears to my eyes reading your thoughtful reviews: they are so wonderfully crafted and magnificently open-minded I simply cannot get enough of them!!

Having said that, I am happy you are an ocean lover! I wrote this with the idea of the English sea setting, perhaps of the cliff-and-rock formations of coastal Britain. And though I've never been there myself, I could only imagine the scene as I wrote it down. Yes, I agree that there is something mystically transfixing (both physically and metaphysically) about the sea that Ginny is so drawn to: an element of the deepest nature that spurs the imaginative recesses of her mind to yearn for it. I cannot express it myself, only that I was surprised when I re-read it and thought, "well, that was deep!" *smile* You have brought warmth and a fresher semblance to this small piece I hadn't noticed until now!! Thank you!

I am also blown away that you would consider this timid, oftentimes shy and reserved Ginny Weasley, as a fruitful and well-rounded character to have deserved your keen observation!! I wasn't sure at first how to approach Ginny's important role in this story, but I am overjoyed it worked for you nonetheless!! Personally, (and don't get me wrong), Ginny is not a fav of mine either! I see more into the aged and somewhat "wiser" characters of JKR's anthology (i.e. McGonagall, Dumbledore, Remus, or even Sirius), than I do in the younger wizards and witches that are JKR's "heroes."

I am captured by the inner strength of love, it has been a subject (no, subject is a bad word... it has been a passion) that I solemnly work at everyday of my life. Nothing speaks to me more than understanding what love is, how it can be nurtured and replenished, and most importantly, how to always keep it alive. It's such a hard and abstract idea to think about, but when it comes down to jotting my feelings about it on paper, all the perplexities disappear and I can openly declare what I feel. In essence, that's what writing does for me: it allows me an unblocked passage to describing the emotions of the heart in a much more fluent and concise way. It's suddenly all clear, and for that moment of clarity I can cherish the gift of writing that I seem to possess. But I thank you for pointing that out with such ease of mind. =))

I am flattered and will never stop writing as long as I can continue to receive the support and admiration of writers such as you! You have more than likely brought a smile that's not going to go away for some time!! Thank you so very much!!! Matt


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Review #5, by Bibbs One Life to Live

5th June 2006:
Wow. Your style is incredibly deep! I tend to leave long (and unfortunately, rambling) reviews, but I'm actually struck speechless on this one. It's poetic, really, the way you describe things. I could see everything perfectly!

This is the first fic I've read where Harry and Ginny are actually an older couple. I like the way Harry's obviously a different man, but still, some of who he used to be still lingers and Ginny can recognize it. It's sad that they seem to have trouble connecting. But I really got a sense of all of the things they had been through together, all of the hardships. I loved the last line very much.

It was gorgeous and it really made me think. I hope you'll keep writing! I'll definitely be checking out your other fics when I get the time. And sorry if the review's not up to par. As I said, you've left me speechless. =)

Author's Response: Simply receiving a review is what I strive for with my stories, and so I cannot express my gratitude enough for your very kind words!! You have brought a smile to my face that I hadn't expected with this review! By writing this I thought I could explain Harry/Ginny's relationship after many years of fighting against the Dark Arts — since for me, I believe that Ginny will follow Harry into battle (in anticipation of JKR's seventh book). I wanted to keep the impartiality of their relationship as accurate as possible, forgiving Harry (from Ginny's eyes) for his faults and making them live happily with one another. I tried to weave different symbols of this problematic relationship as best as I could, and I'm glad they have all come across the page for you. You have definitely defined what this short piece was all about, for Ginny (who I admire for her ability to see into other people's hearts) still sees bits and pieces of her own life in Harry. I can only be happier when I hear words like yours, and that I was successful enough to make you think is, in essence, what I attempt to accomplish by writing! I will most certainly continue to write, for as long as there are ideas in my brain and generous readers like you, I know there will be stories! I can only thank you again for your amazing review, you truly possess a keen eye for the art of writing! Matt

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Review #6, by PropMaster One Life to Live

5th June 2006:
This was so damned beautiful, I can hardly find words. It's clear from the outset that you love your word-crafting. You enjoy the ebb & flow of description melded with thought, and it shows. It's quite lyrical, your writing style; I feel almost as if I've just read a poem or dipped into prose. Very, very nice.

I don't think it's necessary to provide a complete, detailed road map for your reader. Like you've just done, it's just fine to give them a vague, almost impressionistic view of your story/vision, then let them and their own experiences slip in and fill in the spaces. It may not be everyone's cup of tea; some people WANT AND NEED to be led by the hand into everything, especially the younger readers. But the patient ones and those eager to experience something new and exciting will be your grateful audience.

Again (if my gobbly-guk above hasn't said it yet), thank you for the lovely read. I enjoyed myself immenseley!!

Author's Response: Another brilliant review from you, PropMaster!! Well damn, thank you!! =)) I do love word-crafting, and the "ebb-and-flow" you talk about is something I feel comes naturally to me. I attempt exactly what you've outlined ... by creating an "impressionistic view" I believe I can allow the reader more room to imagine what he or she chooses to, and your understanding of this is simply fantastic!! I used to be a young writer once, crafting supercilious narratives of adventure and fun... but you just realize one day that the readers who you should be reaching out to are not there to delve in fluff, they want stories that are both hard-line and real. I cannot tell you how much it means to know I may have accomplished that (at least with this piece)! And I bow my head to this grateful audience who, apart from taking the time to actually review, is also perfectly in tune with the reality of storytelling and experienced enough to comprehend the deeper meanings in the written word! I am glad you enjoyed yourself, come back anytime ! =)) Matt

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