Reading Reviews for Hidden Secrets
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jane_Volturi The Wedding Kissers

30th July 2009:
Hi :)
This was very interesting to read.
First of all i'll start with characterization. When writing fanfiction it's always more beleivable when you stick to the character's canons, this means personality, looks, abilities and basic facts involved in their life. Trust me, keeping people as in character as possible will always have a good outcome. So i'l point out the good and bad parts about your characterization.
Harry: First of all, It was quite a brave move for Harry to kiss Ginny at the wedding, and that's very in his character, to be up and front about things and get them ot of the way. I also liked his dialogue, it was very reaslistic and beleivable. The only slight problem i managed to stumble across was the whole issue with him getting back with Ginny. I don't think Harry would have gotten back with her because he doesn't want to risk Voldemort using her against him. Wether you feel it's right or not it doesn't necessarily change the fact that Harry made it very clear in the sixth book he didn't want to take those sort of risks. It's no problem though. I still think you did a very good job with Harry, so well done with that :)
Ginny: You did really well with her also. You showed her love for Harry clearly through her actions and speech. She was also quite brave and open about their relationship which i think is very in character for her. You did a great job with her character.
Hermione: She was very in character, there was just one slight hiccup. I could detect a slight bit of sarcasm in her dialogue which i don't think she'd usually have, but considering the situation she was in it can hardly be noted to stand out as a specific issue, so good job.
Ron: Perfect, that's all i can really say about his characterization.
Molly: Same kind and thoughtful Molly, i just don't thing she would react to Harry and Ginny's kiss quite the way she did and then act so cool when they announced their engagement. I don't know, you still did a really good job with her anyway :)
Plot: This is really interesting, i like the idea you're sticking to the Deathly Hallows era, usually people wouldn't come up with some of the ideas you have so it's quite a familiar kind of scenery but original at the same time. This fan fiction looks very promising anyway, loved this chapter, brill job!
Mood: Quite Romantic, which is really good.
Flow: This chapter had an alltogether smmoth flow, nothing stood out, everything seemed to make sense. Really good job.
Grammar: I couldn't spot ny problems, really well done.
Spelling: I did come across one or two typing errors, but they can very easily be edited. other than that brilliant.
Punctuation: Perfect.
Descriptive Language: You have a very promising writing style, there's some good description in there, i just think if you concentrated more on the imagery you could be even better.
Overall: I really enjoyed reading this fan fiction, it was brilliant.
10/10

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Review #2, by alt09 Macenzi

28th February 2008:
very good story i really love it

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Review #3, by AussieAnatomy627 Macenzi

22nd December 2007:
Are u going to update? u should!

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Review #4, by AussieAnatomy627 The Wedding Kissers

22nd December 2007:
That was a great start!

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Review #5, by mrslaura Macenzi

21st August 2007:
was wondering when you would finnish this store?

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Review #6, by Faeriewriter Macenzi

9th August 2007:
WOW! That's like all I can say! WOW! Really good! ***

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Review #7, by laurenc467 Macenzi

16th June 2007:
i love this story
the plot is brilliant

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Review #8, by harrypotterhugefanforever Macenzi

14th April 2007:
CLIFF HANGER, SCARY

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Review #9, by Laivine Macenzi

26th December 2006:
Shut up, shut up! Ron and Hermione are Death Eaters? Wow, well this I never saw coming! Can't wait to read more!!!

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Review #10, by ChillGrill The Wedding Kissers

4th August 2006:
A little corny but still cute

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Review #11, by ron_hermione_fan Macenzi

18th June 2006:
woa...........awesome story lov it
your a great writter update soon

Author's Response: Thanks very much!!! :D

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Review #12, by PuNk FaIrY The Wedding Kissers

14th June 2006:
Ace story!!! had me glued to the screen!

Author's Response: Yay!!! You should be careful not to get too stuck though! :P

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Review #13, by jenna The Wedding Kissers

12th May 2006:
this is really really good but its a bit weird, i love the name macenzi but ron has daughter , Awsum whos the mum is it hermy oh i must no please post soon
and ron and hermy are death eaters maddddddddddd
i love this story well done

Author's Response: Thanks for this review, it's greatly appreciated! We also love the name Macenzi, that's why we used it! :P More will be up soon!

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Review #14, by when a phoenix flies cry The Wedding Kissers

2nd May 2006:
This was great! I can't wait to find out more about this girl! Ron? a daughter? Bizarre!!! I love it! The ending was soo funny as well! I love it!

Author's Response: Thanks! This was a great first review to recieve! The next chapter is nearly done, it just needs to be tweeked a bit and then we'll put it on the site! Thanks for this review, you rock!

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