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A rather beautiful ending and depressing yet perfect ending. I really liked it. I'm still confused as to why Andromeda was never mentioned but I'm assuming it was for a reason? Oh well, still very well done!Author's Response: I think I never mentioned Andromeda because when I was writing the story, I was focusing mostly on the influences on her life currently and the reason she grew up the way she did. Andromeda was not approved of by her parents, so she probably wasn't around as much and was probably looked down on and separate from Narcissa and Bellatrix. Or, maybe I am just thinking of this explanation now, and at the time I was just lazy. Could be that :P
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I loved the imagery of the mirror and how she said she could no longer tell the difference between her son and her husband. Beautifully done. :)Author's Response: Oh thank you! You know, when people talk about insanity and losing your mind, I think there are a lot of lines blurred and assumptions made about it. Was Narcissa really delusional? Maybe, but in some part of her mind she obviously knew what she was really seeing. The mind is a tricky thing.
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I really do enjoy seeing inside Narcissa's mind about what happened in the past. It's also brilliantly well written. I love it.Author's Response: Gosh I wrote this story so long ago sometimes I kind of cringe reading it again (we all know that feeling). But I'm glad to see you can still appreciate it :] Thank you!!! Report Review
Wonderfully written, however I do have something that bothers me and that's something to do with the timeline? You have Sirius Black, Bellatrix Black and Narcissa Black going to school together. Bellatrix (according to Harry Potter Lexicon) was born in 1951, Narcissa in 1955 and Sirius in 1959. At best, Sirius was possibly only in school with Bellatrix for about a year, and by then Narcissa had been in school for a few years. Also, from what I can tell, Andromeda was born in 1953, but you don't have her mentioned at all and that puts her as two years older than Narcissa.
However, really the only change you have to do if this is central to your plot (which, I need to keep reading to find out), is to just put in the author's note that you're changing around the ages so that certain characters had more exposure to each other in school.Author's Response: You know, you're absolutely right. Now, the best I can say in my defense is that I wrote this story years ago. I could say that there wasn't really as much information as to the timeline then (HPB had not yet been released). But I think more honestly I was around fourteen and new to fanfiction and I was being very liberal with the truth. I'm really glad you pointed this out though, because since I have left it up on the site, it will definitely need an author's note.
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A-w-e-s-o-m-e. Like, wow. I've never been able to see Narcissa's point of view, but now I feel like siding with her completely! The way she described her upbringing and the way she was taught to think was brilliant. And her love for Lucius. I like the part where she chose Draco's name, that was a great twist! =D And the ending was perfect.Author's Response: Thank you for saying that, I'm so glad you feel that way because when I set out to write the story, basically what i wanted to do was take a character about which we really know very little, and give her a personality and tell the story of how she became the way she is and what lead her to the place she is now. Narcissa is such an interesting character to me, because she is a woman who seems to have so much strength, yet at the same time she ends up being controlled by these very powerful male characters... Thank you so much for reviewing, I really appreciate it! Report Review
Ah...of course, I wasn't really shocked that she would die, seeing how as the title is "Narcissa's Last".
But still, I couldn't help feeling a little mournful that she died, anyway. You should continue a little more on it. Not an entirely different story, mind, but just maybe one or two paragraphs on what happened after she died.
But, even so, it was still very nice. Great job!!!Author's Response: I'll consider a continuation. That was one of my earlier stories and I haven't gone back to it but its been requested a few times :]. Thanks for reading and the feedback! :D Report Review
Oh, my gosh. I cannot tell you how grateful I am that 'widdle, baby Drakie Poo' isn't, you know, all 'evil, dark Lord Draconius' or something. Author's Response: Hahahahah that made me laugh. I know exactly what you mean. He was a child once too, he didn't mutilate cats or anything. :D Thanks! Report Review
'“Mummy, make it fly?” he asked, batting his eyelashes at her in a face of perfect innocence.'
I would never be able to resist such a cheeky, little totter. Author's Response: I don't think I would either. I would REALLY not be able to resist the grown verison ;).
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Surprisingly enough, I think I actually am slightly fond of Narcissa. I don't know why that is, exactly. You portrayed her as I see her, which can be difficult, so well done!
By the way, where is Tonk's mother, Andromeda? She and Narcissa were sisters. Author's Response: Andromeda makes a very brief appearance somewhere in there. But she isn't a major role in the story because she was always the odd one out, so Narcissa had little to do with her.
I'm glad you are starting to like Narcissa :]. She's not a bad woman. She just made bad choices.
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I comend you. Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
I don't quite know how to critique this, dear. I'm a writer by profession, mind you, so I can tell you it's a good story-line, an excellent premise, and a solid execution. But as well-written as this story is, I can't help but feel a slight little something is missing. Perhaps you should include Draco more. Show some more bits of him as a child and how he drifts away from his mother to become like his father.
And at the end, go back to Draco, show what he's doing when Narcissa is killed. Maybe he goes to his Aunt Andromeda or his cousin, Tonks?
And why is Andromeda left out of Narcissa's flashbacks? There is only one mention of her, when Narcissa knocks on her bedroom door to retrieve her for the party.
If you put in just a bit more of these details and show how her son and her estranged sister were important to her in greater depth, you can bring even more emotion to the story.
Overall, a nice peice, but I can tell that you're a good enough writer to make it more than nice. You have the skill to make it unforgetable. And I'd love to see that.
RhiannonAuthor's Response: Wow, I am flattered that you like my writing! Thank you so much for the tips, I can see now exactly what you mean about leaving people out- I tried to focus too much on Narcissa, but I need to include the people in her life more because they are what shaped her decisions. Thanks! Report Review
amazing storyAuthor's Response: Thank you! Report Review
this story. Is fantastic. I'm not usually a lucius/narcissa fan, more ofa dramione shipper- but this story shatters false impressions. Your writing style is unparalleled, and your characters simply come to life. 20/10 :P Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thank you so much! It is amazing to hear that I changed your impression, and I am eternally grateful that you took the time to tell me your opinion. I'm SO glad you liked it, and thank you!!! Report Review
The last part was cool but I would have liked more of Narcissa's narration. The ending was sweet if a tiny bit predictable. I still enjoyed this story alot. Great Job!
~MistyAuthor's Response: Thanks for the help! I figured the ending was either going to be she survives (unrealistic and abrupt) ir she dies (predictable) so I went with the predictability. I'll go back and look at the narration in the end, I can't really remember it lol. Thanks for the help, and for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Perhaps I did marry a mirror. If I only had, then I might shatter it upon this unyielding floor that now glistens with my tears. But the only mirror that lives within my husband is a Mirror of Erised, deceiving me into seeing only what I want to see.
The reference to the Mirrior of Erised was very cleverly used. The end was intresting and I can wait to get to the last chapter =). As to your question, please add chapter graphics, that would be awesome and give this a bit of Zzzing!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked that bit, I was worried it was confusing, because the Mirror is so often seen as this wondrous thing when really it is a lie, a device of trickery. As for chapter graphics, I think I will since you think its a good idea... may take me a bit, though. ANyway thanks for the feedback! Report Review
The first part was slightly confusing but the rest made up for it. You took a more different turn with this chapter. In the first chapter, the emotion was reminiscent angst. This chapter was guilt. I like that you are not afraid took take chances with portraying emotion.
~MistyAuthor's Response: I'm sorry it was confusing- now that I think back to it, I guess I took liberties with what I knew there, as opposed to looking through a reader's perspective. But I'm glad you noticed the change in emotion, because I wanted it that way- at first, all she is is sad and afraid and lonely, but as she gets used to the situation, she begins to think about what led her to where she is. I'm glad you liked it!!! Report Review
I enjoyed this chapter immensily! Oh wow, your descriptions, the emotions you poured into this... I was entralled from the first sentence. It was just so good!
~MistyAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad to hear that you liked the descriptions, I was always worrying when I wrote it- is this clear? Is it overused? lol, I'm glad you liked it, thank you! Report Review
Oh no!!!! Bellatrix you absoulutely naughty girl!!! I haven't been so mad at you since what you did in book five!!!! All in all, wonderful short little story. We got to see a different side of Narcissa and Draco. Even if that side doesn't exist (but we'll just have to wait on that one won't we?) I really liked that. It showed a little delicatcy with the memories and flashbacks. Then it also had a strong and intriging plot that you cared about. It takes true talent to do that. 10/10 and onto the rest of your stories!!!
~Tabby the KatAuthor's Response: Aww, you are so sweet and encouraging! I am glad you enjoyed the story. I agree that I hate Bellatrix, but I had to make a graceful exit, and realistically we all knew Narcissa was not going to escape, didn't we? I am glad that you enjoyed that side of our favorite villains, even if it is completely fanon. Thanks again! Report Review
Oh yay!!!!! At first I was disgusted, but it is eventually going to happen. Draco turning into Lucius that is. And then I loved that you made him good!!!! Yay Draco!!!! Its never good to leave your mother to her death. And I really liked the flashbacks, kind of told us why Narcissa is there in jail. Onto chapter Numero Quatro!!!
~Tabby the KatAuthor's Response: Haha well I didn't want it to be the typical Draco story- he becomes evil and dies, the end. I don't think it would happen. There are important differences between Draco and Lucius that we are shown throughout the book :]. THanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Oh such a lovely chapter!!! I love how all of the flashbacks give us a bit of Draco's upbringing and how he is what he is. I am amazed that you can keep this a flashback story and keep a dramatic plot playing side-by-side. What is Draco doing??????? Is he there to break Narcissa out or just to rub something in her face. I guess I can go read the next chapter if I want to find out.
~Tabby the KatAuthor's Response: I'm glad! I wanted to provide insight into the whole family but most of all into the reasoning for some of Narcissa's actions. I thought the flashbakcs were important for what was essentially, a very short plot :]. I'm glad you liked it! Thanks! Report Review
Wonderful story. I loved the way you portrayed Narcissa and especially her relationship with Lucius and Draco. The descriptions and emotions you portrayed were really well done. Great story! :DAuthor's Response: Thank you for the truly awesome multiple reviews! I would have been so excited about one, but to have somebody take the time out to leave several is such a nice thing to do for an author. I'm so glad that you liked the story. I had hoped to convey the relationships well and its really great to know that you like it. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Wow. Killer ending. I loved this, and especially the flashbacks. The alternating views of past and present is done spectacularily. On to the next chapter. :)Author's Response: Oooh, fantastic, thank you! I'm so glad that you liked it, especially as I was really nervous about how the flashbacks turned out. Thanks for letting me know that you liked them, and for reading! Report Review
Ah, wonderful beginning. I love the language here and the coarse emotion that flows through Narcissa's voice. Great job!Author's Response: Thank you! I really like to mess around with words, because I think just the way something is phrased can effect the way a story feels, and its really great to hear that people appreciate that. Thanks! Report Review
WOW! A second chapter, just as good as the first!! And with a cliffhanger!! I appaud you!! And add you as one of my favorites!Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so much! It is still so amazing to hear from people who enjoy my stories, and to be one of your favorites is truly amazing, thanks for telling me! Report Review
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