909 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LadyTartan Rescue from Two Kings and An Heir.

23rd November 2012:
You have a great story here, but you should consider getting someone to help you with the grammar. Particularly your use of tenses is inconsistent and usually incorrect. I'd also do a bit more about the Kigs of Magic and a lot less about Sex, Alcohol, and Cars.

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Review #2, by Gw&dm14 Christmas on the Ward.

27th February 2012:
Ok seriously? This book has a really good plot line but the characters are really weird and annoying. Hermiones turned dizty, she's like a dumb blonde now and Harry's a prick! Are you joking? He's acting like the biggest $&@! Hes like oh I have all this money now let me spend it ALL! And then he treats hermione like crap and swears all the time and loses his temper. What happened to j.k. Rowlings Harry that was good and kind and wanted to save the world? What did you do with him? And you need some serious editing. It's not "would of" what grade are you in??? It's would HAVE but it's shortened to would've. My 3 year old sister wouldn't make that mistake!!! Do some serious editing and stop changing the characters and you'll be good!

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Review #3, by CJWillis3 First Time.

6th December 2011:
Well im sorry for my rude comments i very much hated the chapters where they were apart

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Review #4, by CJWillis3 First Match With The New Chaser.

6th December 2011:
Will u get Harry and Hermione back together already

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Review #5, by CJWillis3 Lonliness.

6th December 2011:
Wow u broke Harry and Hermione U suck ill keep reading tho

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Review #6, by CJWillis3 Becoming of Age.

4th December 2011:
Nice job on first story and firt chap of sequAl

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Review #7, by Original Name Ceremonies.

17th October 2011:
Very strange ending but i loved it thanks for the journey now im off to read The Rise of The New Lords

10/10

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Review #8, by Original Name Paris, Vampires and A Castle.

16th October 2011:
Pretty story line so far apart from the fact paris is no where near the coast. I guess your where just thinking of a place in France that people would know.

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Review #9, by Bethanyrose Second Death

15th October 2011:
Ok I take back what I said about knowing who dies already! This was a brilliant ending :D

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Review #10, by BethanyRose Ceremonies.

14th October 2011:
Hey I haven't read your book yet but I was reading the chapter blurbs. I just wanted to point out to you that you keep the secret of who dies so well and then on the last blurb you say who's funeral it is which sort of ruined the surprise. It may be deliberate but I just wanted to point it out incase it was mention to be a secret. Now going to start reading :)

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Review #11, by Winxy Familiar Robes and Blonde Love.

18th July 2011:
I hope the relationship between Harry and Hermione is going to be better,
if not I'm Going 2 be sorely disappointed.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and please continue. It will get better :)

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Review #12, by sneha19 Air Reunited.

24th June 2011:
there is no mention of luna. surely she s also a gud frnd of d trio

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. Luna is a close friend of the trio but this develops stronger deeper into the story.

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Review #13, by sneha19 Becoming of Age.

21st June 2011:
story is well written but i think u cud hav chosen a better title. d title is nt as attractive as d story. it repulsed me for ages. reminds of d medieval times

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. The name of the story suits the content of the story. It's not medieval but it holds a lot of ancient and historical information to our characters. I hope you continue.

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Review #14, by JCleve Careers Decision and Departure.

20th May 2011:
Wtf is up with this shit? You gone canon-mode which is HIGHLY disappointing...

Really now?

The battle at the Grangers was extremely weak. Harry did absolutely nothing and yet you made it seem like he was ready to take on all 10 DE and Voldemort?
Then all of a sudden, Harry went from being obsessed with professional Quidditch to extreme-dislike. And did the same with becoming an auror. The whole time Harry didn't want to become an auror because he was sick of it and didn't want to use his powers. Honestly, WHAT THE FUCK.
And why the hell would Harry not want his castle. It was his dream home. On top of that, he spent days fixing it up and thousands and thousands of galleons. Now he plans on abandoning everyone inside to fend for themselves but without the age preservation charm on there? After Grimmauld Place, all Harry wants to be is in the place left to him by the people who spent any time thinking about Harry.

This story has turned to complete bullshit and I am extremely tempted to quit reading, and just make my own ending up and calling quits.

You are a very hypocritical writer.

Author's Response: If you are unable to comprehend the complexity of Harry's life, responsibility and desires then I believe you have misunderstood my entire collection of stories and the way they have been wrote.

While I appreciate you have read the stories, I do not appreciate your near offensive comments.

If you do not wish to continue, then please don't.


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Review #15, by DONA682 Leaving For The Burrow.

6th March 2011:
Having read the first 3 chapters, I find your angle on this portion of Harry's life enjoyable and look forward to reading the series.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and I hope you finish the full set.

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Review #16, by Dallas Leaving For The Burrow.

4th November 2010:
Your writing confuses me. Its interesting and i like to readit but it is also starnge. People dont talk like that. Your writing isnt subtle. The way you mentioned Harry and hermione was crude and simple. Yet every time im about to close the window you hook me witha possibility. You shouldnt hvae made dudley love him so fast. You should have made it a grudging respect. You shouldnt have made him worship harry. People dont automatically understand the hardships of others.


I will keep in touch with you two, I will see how you progress without me. said Harry smiling broadly.

A normal harry would've said
"I'll see how you guys do without me, Bye!"
Heck a normal harry wouldnt even be friends with dudley and petunia
Overall your writing is ok. Its better than the average persons but in my experience with the other pieces of writing I've read on this website your writing is absolutely dreadful

Author's Response: While I respect your comments, I do not entirely agree with them. My writing does proceed and I have always stated that my stories are also there for me to improve my writing abilities.

Some things in my stories are rushed due to their insignificance however there are a lot of things to take into consideration that I may have been too quick to assume others understood.

The importance between Harry and Dudley is that they are both going through massive hormonal and personality changes, they are becoming adults. Therefore they are easier to put behind them childish issues as well as to comprehend the significance of other people's issues easier.

As for Harry saying those comments to Dudley and Petunia, I believe you may have looked too far into them. Petunia is Harry's mother's sister, his aunt and any inclination that there has finally been acceptance is a greater significance to most people than a problematic life in comparison to what Harry has been through.



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Review #17, by Hinders Lonliness.

24th October 2010:
This is a truly good plot, but is being ruined by the childish writing style. Books do not get written with every sentence being the same length. Learn about paragraphs, and how to use punctuation properly, and check the grammar and spelling.

Could of - is incorrect. Could have - or could've - is correct. You will never ever make a writer unless you can do better than this.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading thus for and for your comments. However I would like to point out, as I have to others, my writing of Harry Potter fan fiction started when I was still in school and has developed over time. This method gave me the opportunity to express my imagination and creativity while also improving my writing through practice.

If you were to continue reading this story you will notice a dramatic change in writing style and vast improvements all around. That being said, we are always learning and I doubt there's ever an author in this world who cannot learn something more. Though of course, most of them use editors nowadays.

I hope you continue to read.


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Review #18, by RLH First Match With The New Chaser.

3rd August 2010:
Harry needs to quit being a prat and grow up

Author's Response: That is true however that is from a viewers perspective. He doesn't see everything we do, so I think I'd react the same was I in his position :p

Thanks for reading.


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Review #19, by bennenbenn5 The Beginning of The End.

7th July 2010:
I don't like the new harry can you put him back to the old 1? 9/10

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. He should improve but he will certainly be changing!

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Review #20, by SytherinDuchessMalfoy Christmas on the Ward.

5th July 2010:
NEW YEAR'S EVE is the 31st of december?

This story is not that good to hold my attention til the end. It's a headache just to read it. the spelling and grammatical errors make me feel ill. it's too painful to continue.

Author's Response: Hmm the New Years is evidently a mistake. I'm surprised - you went from Chapter Twenty to Chapter Twenty Three before complaining. If it hurts you so very much, please go elsewhere. Your comments are nothing but rude.

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Review #21, by SytherinDuchessMalfoy Fitness and Intense Training.

5th July 2010:
Hermoine is Muggle-born. and does not have the same fear as theose born in the Wizarding World, therefore she would not stutter or be afraid to say VOLDEMORT out loud.

Futhermore you need a Beta to proof read your spelling and grammar or at the very least a dictionary.

Your spelling is atrocious and it hurts the eyes.."where was you' should be 'Where WERE you'. if your writing in English then it should written properly.

~SDM

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. However, although I accept criticism, I do not accept point blank rudeness.

I do not purely write stories to entertain people and I think anyone would be selfish to assume as much. I write to expand my working knowledge and ability of writing as much as to entertain people.

I refuse to use a beta as this reduces the ability to learn from my mistakes. If you read through my stories, you will experience a vast difference in the style of writing. Where was you and where were your is grammar, not spelling.

As for Hermione, I'm not sure if you've read the books, but Hermione reads a lot and knows far more about what has gone on with Voldemort than most people. In the actual books she stutters in saying Voldemort and hesitates, she holds the same fear as any other.



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Review #22, by V. McGonagall First Time.

22nd April 2010:
I just wanted to say thank you for getting Harry and Hermione together again

P.s Love the story

Author's Response: You're welcome! Thanks for reading.

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Review #23, by hogwart_lady First Time.

26th March 2010:
thank you thank you so much for those too getting back together

Author's Response: You're welcome and thank you for reading!

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Review #24, by Harry Shattered Relationships At The Try-Outs.

8th February 2010:
Spectacular friendly. Nice kick from Harry to Krum. Is that really the end of Harry and Hermione?

Author's Response: Thanks for reading but this was a double post!

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Review #25, by Harry Shattered Relationships At The Try-Outs.

8th February 2010:
Spectacular friendly. Nice kick from Harry to Krum. Is that really the end of Harry and Hermione?

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

We have to remember, Harry is a hormonal teenager who is also going through vast changes within himself with his expanding powers. Violence is only the first stage.


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