don't worry i won't kill you.well.i might bite though.RAWR! Report Review
awwwww! make a sequel k! really cute story. very good for a first fanfic. i have the first chapter of my'n up, and another story coming soon. i give thee............... 10/10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *claps* *cheers* *whistles*
;)Author's Response: thank you!!! :D Me loves cute stories. :D Report Review
I like it. Is it completed I thought there would be more. I want there to be more. Good job.Author's Response: The next chapter is up, it's completed now. Report Review
You have got me hooked. I like this story. An A+ or 10 or w/e.Author's Response: :D Glad to hear it! Report Review
A really good beginning. I liked it. So keep up the good work.Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Your story is really beginning to have me hooked... and that's saying something for a marauder era romance fic! It's really good, so please don't kill me for mentioning a few small things I didn't like:You advertise "little red riding hood" in the middle of your story; frankly, that annoyed me. I suppose it'll be a good story (and I'll probably read it), but you could add an A/N, or tell us about the story on your Author's Page, because putting it into the fic breaks the fluidity of the story.The "flashback to scene" thing is also a little awkward; maybe you could just put a line of asterisks before and after that scene, because you mention that it is a flashback ("Lily recalled the scene of telling them"), so it's quite clear what you're doing there.Oh, and if you need a banner: Have you tried The Dark Arts? There's a link off our forum.I hope I didn't hurt you or anything, because you know that that is not my intention. It's really just minor stuff that I mentioned, and you should be able to fix it quite easily. (If you like, that is, my suggestions are just... well, suggestions.) I'm looking forward to the next chapters! =))Author's Response: Sank you verry much for ze reviex (not to mension longue..) I ams very glad to hear zat I hav' got you 'ooked! :)
:) Report Review
That was really good! You are really making the characters do what I think that they would do in the books, which shows alot of talent! Nice work! Author's Response: Thank you.. :) :) You make me smile :) Report Review
That was really good so far! I really liked it! An excellent start for your first fan fiction! Author's Response: Thank you SO SO much!!! :) Report Review
i really loff your story, its awesome rock onAuthor's Response: Hey thanks!! :) Report Review
Nice story, ya got grammar skills.
Rating: 8 and one half :-0
Laterz, Emma_StarAuthor's Response: Hey, thanks!! I appreciate it. :)
Anglinhogwarts Report Review
Hi angelinhogwarts, and congrats to your first fic! It's a really interesting and funny start. I agree with Lyn on the remarks, they should be A/Ns, but I guess you'll change that anyway. Ethan Harsburg reminds me so much of Colin Creevey... is that intentional?I don't usually read many Marauder era stories, but seeing as it is you... I'll have to keep reading, don't I? ;) (No, that's not the reason, of course, I really like it. :) )Author's Response: Hey Loony86! Thank you for the review, I appreciate it. Ethan Harsburg, yes well, has a distinct resemblance to Creevy, yeah well, that kind of came by accident! :) Report Review
Oh, so this is an AU, seeing that Lily has a brother.
First of all, some tiny suggestions.
Better not add information in brackets. It does not look so good.
You are overdoing the emphasis at places. Like when you wrote about 10 exclamation marks. you only need one.
Just a suggestion, Versace is not the best name for the HP Universe.
"How did it go Lily?" should be "How did it go, Lily?" Mind the punctuation. Beta readers are great, why don't you get one?!
(NOTE: Wendy and Rachel Prewett are Molly Weasley's sisters! Also, for those who don't know- Molly Weasley's maiden name was Prewett, as Joanne Kathleen Rowling tells us at her website) This should be included in the A/N, not in the middle of the fic!
Then, the parts I liked:
I am so happy that it was in the Marauder era. I love those. I just hope you don't mind CC, because that's what i do. Nothing harsh, just realistic!
Wow, such detail on the exam. I must admit, this is a first! no one ever wrote about what those exams were about. Very intriguing! Where did you get the prosedures from? Did you make them up?
It's cool that the girls have nicknames, just as the marauders do.
It was so nice that Lily thanked him after all. And their little conversation was funny! Also, it is so strange that Dumbledore would arrange the seats in order, but I like the fact that they will both spend more time face to face :P
Great job for a first fic! There were no major mistakes, the chapter was light and enjoyable. Keep it up!
Sorry, but I don't like to rate, simply because I am not good at it. I'll just mess it up, and will en up being the bad one, or the incompetent one. Nevertheless, I would give yours 7 for the effort and interesting idea :)Author's Response: Hey thanks so much for the honest review!! :)
Um, I did get a beta reader actuallly, and I posted it like he gave it to me. I guess I should have checked over it after he gave it back. I'll mind your suggestions, thanks for the A/N comment! Report Review
Cool, it was funny but I assume there will be more fun, eh? I have always loved L/J romance and I look forward to the second chapter :-). You have portrayed them both very nicely. There's one thing though - did Molly Weasley really have sisters or you just made them up?Author's Response: Aha! You see, I made them up, seriously SiriuslyCrack... :)
Thanks so much for the review!!! Report Review
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