That was really sad. I love Bill I think he's really sweet. I wish those things didn't have to happen to him. They were all so blunt and quick. But at least they can never truly be apart now. Report Review
Wow you do angst well. Superb. The ony criticism I have is that the part where Fred announces what happened to his twin is written awkwardly. It is in the wrong tense.
But otherwise, good job. Author's Response: Thanks! WOW. You're right. I really messed up with the tenses. I think that at that point I wasn't paying that much attention, but this calls for an edit! Merci, BE. Report Review
That was a very touching story, i'm a little depressed now, I need to stop reading dark work! But this was beautiful. I would have liked it a little better if you had described a little more, but still it was good.Author's Response: Thank you for your comments! It's a first that someone said I don't describe enough (in fact, I've been said to almost ramble), but I do see your point of view. Sorry for making you depressed, though, and thanks once more. Report Review
It's so sad....I practically cried when I read it....But how about Ron? He's not mentioned at all....Author's Response: I appreciate your comments, Kisara! Athough I'm sorry I made you almost cry, I'm happy the story did what it was supposed to. Though Ron isn't mention in more than one sentence, it is because he is mentioned in the sentence that describes who survived. Report Review
I'm so saddened by this. Why oh why do I put myself through sad stories :(. Hugs!! I need hugs now. Great write..........but I still need a hug.Author's Response: HUG!! Thanks for your review, I'm sorry it made you sad, but that was kind of the genre! Report Review
Oh my, I can't believe I haven't reviewed this fic yet!!! This is about the 3rd time I read it! And it does NOT lose any of its impact. This is such a sad fic and it is very well written. You do a great job tying in memories into Bill's thoughts. Wonderful. ~ MonAuthor's Response: Thanks Mona. WOW!! Three times! That's such a compliment. I really appreciate you stopping by. Report Review
Wow that was powerful and I loved it, poor Fred though. Congrats, hey know anyone that could make me a banner?Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, I agree with you about Fred...poor Fred. If you want a banner, I would recommend going to the Dark Arts and requesting one! Report Review
Aw, sad. Somehow still sweet, but very sad. I think this is excellent.Author's Response: Thanks, I appreciate your comments... it was supposed to be sad though... it was about tragedy! :'o( Report Review
ok sorry for leaving such short comments before, i was sad at the time and the sad stories made me sadder! wow this is really different than the rough draft eh? i see you are very big on descriptive settings too! i like the daisy thing. i however think it might be easier to empathize with the characters if we were drawn in more at the beginning, instead of immediately being expected to plunge into bill's soul & stuff.
btw, youve been responding to my earlier comments like you dont know me... you do know its LS from bell, right?
i am still in a sad mood and do not want to think about what to rate this, so i will leave it how it is (default 5) and mebbe come back later when i can be fairer to it. idk.Author's Response: I totally knew it was you, that's why I said thanks for stopping by, but then again, it was like a really short comment, so I was like, ok, that's a really short comment. LOL. Thanks for your comments this time, and your constructive criticism, as well as your noticing that "i am big on descriptive settings." LK was like don't edit my stories too much or it will sound like you wrote them. :D Anywho, thanks for reading them, and reviewing them with... hmm, gusto! Report Review
what happened to harry then?
fyeo?Author's Response: Hmm, I'll make this somewhat fluffy... You could say he lives. I want to leave it up to the reader's interpretation. Also, I was using the canon facts that JKR said none of the Golden Trio would die. Thanks for your remarks. Report Review
That was a wonderful story, quite sad but very well written. It's very depressing how everyone died and the ways it happened. I was never a Fleur fan, but seeing it from Bill's POV makes her death seem much worse. This is one of those helpless stories, where by the end you just know the main character is going to wither away any day now. Not a very nice feeling but, hey, it can still make a story good. ;)Author's Response: I feel happy! I made you like Fleur, kind of. Thanks for stopping by and R&Ring! Report Review
Wow, that was just amazing. Beautifully written and ever so emotional. What an incredible fic, I was nearly in tears.Author's Response: Thank you so much for your touching review. Report Review
Nice ending! The idea was well-thought out, but some parts were confusing like who you were talking about at different parts of the story. But just remember that practice makes perfect. Keep writing and good job!Author's Response: Thanks for your constructive criticism and review! Report Review
Wow, this is very well-written. It's bittersweet. You've done a good job explaining how everyone has died without making it unbearably sad. I really, really liked the letter from the Ministry about Percy's death; you captured the HP political world's lack of care perfectly. I'm glad to see a Bill fic, there really aren't many that have minor characters like him. I loved the last paragraph especially and how he ripped the last petal in half. Amazing job, you're very talented!Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I tried to make it more original with the ripped petal. Glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
Ahhh. I wonder what you were thinking when you wrote this. . . Maybe your significant other had just broke up with you, or your dog just died. I'm kidding, none of that is funny, though. . . What I'm getting at is that you were in a very angsty mood, and that is contagious! I was having a very FINE day thank you very much until I read this fic! haahahaa--but that's a good thing. You served your purpose. No, it didn't make me cry, but did it make YOU cry? Hmmmm. . . This was longer than your other one-shot, and a COMPLETE different genre! It was nice. You somehow tied everything together without being too "oh, poor me--emo emo emo" and that's refreshing. I like your little "she loves me, she loves me not" bit with the flower--classic. Yeah, and the title by the way suggests NO emo-ness whatsoever. . . mmm, not at all--hahaha j/k. No, but seriously--good job. Author's Response: Thanks for the awesome review. To try and settle confusion, there are two of us. So far, we've each written a story, and this is the one I wrote, and she wrote the other one. I actually was having a great day and decided to try my hand at angst. She decided to write a more whimiscal fiction. It didn't make me cry, but then again, I wrote it. I wasn't planning on making it emo or anything, thank goodness it wasn't. Thanks for your review. Report Review
What a sad story! You killed off everyone!
I loved the beginning, the metaphors, the imagery, everything.
I really don't have anything to critique...I'm wondering what a cot is, though. I've never heard of that word.Author's Response: Yes, the first person who read it told me it was horrible, the plot that is, and I agreed, but I thought it worked in terms of angst, I mean, that's all it is. a cot is like a bed, but not as nice, like an army cot. You know, really thin, industrial. Report Review
Sad, but so beautifully written. I liked it well done. I also liked how you added flashbacks along the way that fit into the story. Again, well done! Author's Response: Thank you for your kind review! Report Review
Oh! I was immediately caught in this when I saw it was Bill speaking. Very original! "The flat I know live in is musty,..." 'know' should be 'now'Okay, the headline that reads "Boy Killed in Death Eater Attack" should really read 'Man' instead of 'boy'. Even though in Molly's eyes every one of her children would remain children for her, Charlie must be almost reaching his thirties. It is theorised that Charlie and Tonks graduated on the same year from Hogwarts so they should be in their late twenties. Just a bit I thought you should fix. The letter about Percy's death was quite horrible indeed. Someone should fire the person that deals with the making of those letters. I know it's not supposed to be funny, but I laughed at the excuse the DEs gave for killing Shunpike as if he had been a DE too. It's sad to see Bill so destroyed after he has lost everything he had and loved. Even when there is always hope, nothing will bring his loved ones back. Well, I do hope not many people will die in the 7th book of HP. :) Nicely written. Author's Response: Hoorah! Another long review. Thanks! The know/now thing is being validated. So the boy/man thing. When I was writing, I considered changing it (I might still), but I thought...it's the Daily Prophet. It's unreliable. The letter was based on this one form letter that was sent to my parents saying that "Your son, Mr. (insert my name here)" and of course, I am not my parent's son, I am their daughter. How embarrassing! I thought that it would add to the tragedy with some dark humor. Report Review
Very sad but beautifully written story. The memoir was written in a way that even though the events Bill was talking about was in chronological order, it was still easy to understand. I also liked how the story showed the family structure of the Weasleys. The only improvement that can be made in this story is to have the 'she loves me, she loves me not' in italics and with each 'she loves me, she loves me not' as a new paragraph. I personally find that the last sentence in a story would leave a much more lasting impression when written this way and I find the 'she loves me..." a pretty powerful way to end your story, so changing the format would make it easier to read. Overall, a wonderful read. =)Author's Response: I'll consider your comments...thanks for a wonderful review! *gives out a super-big cookie* Report Review
This was a really touching and sad story! I love the way that it was written with the flashback things! I was almost in tears! One thing, but it didn't really matter to the story; 'The flat I know live in' it should be now not know, but I doubt that many people would notice.
You're a really great writer, keep up the good work!Author's Response: Whoops! I'll have to change that. Thanks for your touching review, that was my first story, so I really appreciate your compliments. Report Review
Hey, it's Rachel! I feel special 'cause I get to review first... X3 Anyway, nice story. Update soon, or I'll throw stuff at you in class!Author's Response: Hi Rachel! Thanks for reading the story. We are writing away. Report Review
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