Please write more! I was hooked on the first chapter, but now it's more like an addiction...your story is just too good...are you a writer? You should be. Looking forward to reading more!
~Fanfic reader :)

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Wow. Just...wow...I mean, shivers down your spine wow. It was so good! I know you already have other chapters up and all, but I couldn't resist a review to a story like this! Definitely worthy of praise and a prize..Here you go: Best Fanfic Story EVER! (And I've only read the first chapter!) Anyway, good luck in future writing! If I could give you 100 out of ten, I would!

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This is powerful. Keep going this way! You have a skill, you can write a very long monologue without making it boring. I really liked Ron's speech, it was very emotional.
Great work.
Ciao!

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Sad, yet brilliant. Beautifully written. If you read this, then you'll know I'm desperate for an update.

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omg i cried i actually CRIED and i have no idea why lol

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Alright, strap in for the criticism:

1. I think the dialogue is a little much. It completely takes over the story. it lacks in emotion and it is clumped together, which makes it hard to read.

2. There are some very obvious grammar and spelling mistakes that take away from the story, might want to run it through your beta again.

3. It it lacking in descrition. There is nothing that can really show the reader the story you have come up with, as it is all dialogue. Maybe you could put in some paragraphs in between the dialogue, to show what is going on, if you choose to, remember the rule' show don't tell' and you will be fine.

4. I think you could have showed a little more grief on Ron's side for when he lost Hermione, he seemed a little too accepting of it, which is slightly OOC for him, know what I mean?

Good things:

1. this is a good and unique idea, and I did enjoy, but the things above took away from the story greatly.

Remember, my criticism is meant to help, not insult. Just work on the things I said above and it will be great. This has great potential, feel free to PM on the forums if you do choose to revise the things above, and I will gladly come back and give another review :) 7/10

♥Cait

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Awww.this is so sweet...please update! I need more!

Author's Response: More is coming.

Helix

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I don't have time to read this at the moment, but i will get back to it. I just wanted to say that te summary was brilliant, one of the best I've ever seen. It really made me want to read the fic!

Author's Response: You need to get back to this and read it. I hear its great ;). I love your Forums sig too. I may steal it. I have bad thoughts sometimes...

Helix

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I really like you first two chapters! I actually cried on the first one. You really know how to bring things to life!

Author's Response: I'm happy you liked it. More is coming soon. Hopefully the tears have dried so you can read it.

Helix

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Great chapter!


Author's Response: Thanks again.

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Wow. Good chapter!


Author's Response: Thank you

Helix

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Again! Perfect! I will be waiting endlessly beside my computer for an update! Brilliant!

Author's Response: You won't have to wait by your computer much longer. more is coming.

Helix

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OMG! I LOVE this story! You are truley an amazing writier! I could feel all of those emotions and see the images so clearly in my mind, you have a way for words that just leaves me speachless.
wonderfully written and bittersweet, I can't wait to read more! ^_^

Author's Response: More is coming.

Helix

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You did an amazing job on your character's personality--very cannon! I loved the speeches, too! They were very deep and profound! Seems like you have an old soul!

This was great! I just wish there was more to read! Grrr! Can't wait for more! Update soon!

Author's Response: Update is coming soon, i promise. Within the week...Hopefully. Look forward to it please.

Helix

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Wow! This was amazing! The angst was so real! So dark! Yet it was not overly dramatic, like some are. This was so wonderful!

Also, there were so many lines in this that I thought were brilliant! So many lines which captured the mood and the era:

That confidence that he had always shown on the quiddich pitch leaked into the other parts of his life when you died. Hermione and I were worried that he might break, knowing what he was to do in the future and knowing that you would not be there to guide him and help him, but he never wavered. Your death gave him strength. Your death made Harry the man we always knew he would be.

Just one example of you ingenius writing!

This was great 10/10!!! :)

Author's Response: I love your writing as well. I especially like the Chapter in CoS that you wrote about the goblins. Very political but fitting. Oh, yes, I am continuing.

Helix

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Are you going to continue? I really like it!

Author's Response: Never fear. I am continuing.

Helix

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Okay, so now we're traveling back to see how Ron arrived in the courtyard in front of Dumbledore's tomb. The ceremony was moving with the speeches from the trio. I love that you've given Ron a real 'voice' in the story. I'm interested to hear more about Trelawney's premonition. Looking forward to more. ~Sugar~

Author's Response: More is coming. Clue: We're not just traveling back in time. This is the actual start to the story. You'll get it more as it goes on. Enjoy.

Helix

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Wow Helix! What an emotional and heart-wrenching start to a story!! I was completely drawn in by Ron's pain and loneliness. So much loss... most of his family, his wife, his unborn daughter, and now his best friend has gone missing... We always think of Harry's tragedy, but I really like that this was written from Ron's point of view. The scene at Dumbledore's tomb, asking for guidance for Harry was beaufifully done as was the ending where he's thinking of all of the reasons they fought. I usually don't like stories like this, because I'm a 'happy ending' kind of girl, but you've intrigued me and I can't wait to read more. ~Sugar~

Author's Response: Hey Sugar. Glad you liked it. I hope you are up for the next action packed/gut wrenching installment. I've led a few of you on but never fear, truth follows me.

Helix

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omg

update

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh - plz??!!????!???????!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!????

xxxoooxxxoooprongsie_potter_rulezxxxoooxxxooo

Author's Response: You got it Progsie. Hard-Drive is on its way and the next Chapter should be up within a week... *Cross Fingers*

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*gasp* ---- *slaps forehead* -- I am so sorry I missed the eye color thing Helix!!!...dang it...I knew that too, not sure why it never occured to me. I will be better from now on, I swear. You already know I love your writing so I won't spend too much time on that here...although I will point out that the flashbacks are my favorite part of this chapter, except of course for "he smiled when she did." --- you should write a one shot that ends with that line. Or maybe I will and steal it from you and then bask in the glory of that line's greatness...oh, and I love the bold. ;)

Author's Response: Hey Princess! I'm back up and running. My hard-drive is on its way and chapter 3 should be coming soon. Send me an owl (I've been using the forums, Proud of me?)

Helix

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Again, wow. I'd say I'm breathless this time around, but really, I'm not. But, no worries, it's because I'm sitting here yelling at the words on the computer to continue! I want to know what McGonagall has to say! This was such a good chapter. I could feel the emotions of everyone running high. And, you did a wonderful job with the interaction between Trelawney and McGonagall. I've recently grown a fond place in my heart for the dear Divination Professor, and you have completely nailed her characterization. Also, great job with Ron, Hermione and Harry. The only thing that I found was that Ron's eyes are blue, not brown. But, oh well, that's a really little thing. :o) You did another amazing job and I can't wait for your next installment!! ~Jessi

P.S. Did I scare you at the beginning of the review? Sorry if I did. ;o)

Author's Response: Thank you Jessi_Rose. Im glad you enjoyed it so much. Can't believe it took so long, also. Oh, well, its done. Now for the next chapter. I can't wait, lol! Thanks again and I am already fixing that little mistake... J.C.

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...Wow. Completely breath taking. I was on the edge of my seat (literally) the entire time. It was beautifully written, and there were a few times when a tear almost escaped. Wonderful, wonderful. Bravo! ~Jessi

Author's Response: Thank you very much. It feels good to see that kind of review. I am happy to let you know that there is a second chapter up and I would love it if you would read it and give me another great review. Only if its great, though ;) J.C.

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wow,hope there's more

Author's Response: Oh, there is. Not to worry. I just need to go over the next chapter and I will post it tomorrow (tuesday).

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omg you killed hermione! this is so sad but yet addicting its gonna make me cry

Author's Response: I Hope its addicting because I have another chapter coming up!

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*tear* --- you know I love this. It is just soo.... brilliantly written...and soooo sad... and I am so happy that it finally posted for you! Now about that pesky chapter two... ;)

Author's Response: Getting there. Finishing touches.

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