That was spectacular. Bellatrix, Voldemort, Rodolphus... you were so unflinching in your depiction of their cruelty and darkness.
I also really loved the switching back-and-forth between flashbacks and the present. It was extremely well done and was like a movie playing out in my mind as I read. Report Review
Very lovely and evocative. Quite simply one of the most beautiful dark fics I've read. Just grand.
I did find a few typos and I would suggest changing the opening line. The opening line is the most important in any story and I just don't think 'slipped upward out of unconsciousness' works. The two u's create the wrong pace and throw it off.
It would be better to delete the first nine words and start it with: "It wasn't the pain she first noticed."
A ten of course!
DA Jones Report Review
I liked this story a lot because I believed it really portrayed the true madness of Belaatrix and what keeps her so close to the Dark Lord. I felt that I could really understand Bellatrix's craziness and the depth of her obsessions. Very well written. Report Review
wow. thats what this story left me with. it was pretty gross in some parts, but i couldnt stop reading. i loved the way you portrayed/explained bellatrix and rodolphus. in short, this was amazing! thank you for writing this excellent one shot! ;) Report Review
Fantastic, absolutely fantastic. Gave me spine tingles it did. You got inside Bellatrix's head and it almost seemed like she was writing herself. Deliciously creepy and horror, but not so much that I won't sleep tonight. I look forward to reading your other stories.
-Pixie Report Review
just one thing to say here: WOW, This is the best thing I have read in along time. Bellatrix was so in character I felt as though I were reading something by Rowling herself. Great job. And just know that I a usually reaally critical of fics and don't leave very many good reviews, but I could only find one thing wrong with this one and that was that Voldemort seemed a little too arrogant. I know that he is a little cocky, but it was a little overkill. But that can be overlooked in light of the rest of the story. Again, great job. 10/10 Report Review
You are a truly amazing writer! You captured both Bella and Voldemort's characters perfectly. Your use of imagery was suberb. You put my Bella fic to shame.
Brava, PropMaster, Brava. Report Review
wow. this was so powerful.Author's Response: Thanks so much! Report Review
Amazing. Not romanticized, not fanon, not anything that some fics end up, this is really the Bella we see in the books. Author's Response: Wow -- thanks so much! Bella is hard to understand -- we only see the end product in the books, not her beginnings. I tried to flesh that out a bit. Thanks again!! Report Review
Wow... that was absolutely wonderful... an amazing read, with no plotholes gone unexplained. I've never read a Bella fic that I actually liked, because they make her seem too soft in my opinion, but this one definately hit the nail on the head! Great Job!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your nice words. Yeah, I think Bellatrix is a real psychotic one, not just later but early on. I wanted to show the seeds of her insanity. Thanks again! Report Review
I don't think I've ever read a better Bellatrix fic where an author writes her so well. :-) I applaud you! Two thumbs up!Author's Response: Ahh, thanks so much. She was a bit of a minx; so many sides to this creature. I appreciate you taking the time to review! Report Review
sweet as, I loved it, it was really well how you portrayed her Author's Response: Thank you!! Report Review
Hmm... for one, I definetly must say this is one of my favourite stories on this site.
I typed in 'Bellatrix Black' on search for my own story, and I found yours. I loved the discription of Bella, it suited her perfectly. It also really helped me think more of her character for my own story, haha you know, dwell more on character capture, etc. and all that fun stuff. I should thank you, since I know how to really get my story fixed right now, so thanks!
I have to say, it's nice to find another story about our favourite little Bellatrix, I've always kind of looked down on the whole 'Ooooooh I HATE Bellatrix Black -insert story on how Bella killed this/did this here- she's eeeevvvvvvil.' I understand the terrible things she does, and don't feel a need to glorify or justify her, but I do get annoyed by the 'evil' phrase. I mean can anyone really say she's evil when even if she's the epitome or darkness or hate personified or w/e, it's obvious she wasn't born that way right? I just wish people would concentrate on why she was made that way more, or at least that she's only doing what she is because it's what she feels is right, regardless of what others think.
Even though your story didn't tend to be in her favor in someways like mines kinda turning out, it shows present Bella perfectly in my opinion, and I liked how you showed how deeply her Nanny had affected her. I could easily see her roam through the school sas if she owned it, walking like a queen, and Rodulphus was shown nicely as well, perfect for Bella to marry. I especially think that you fitted the characters amazingly, I don't think I can really find anything wrong with them.
I have to say, it seems we both have entirely different views on her childhood: I take more on the sort of 'hurt' (in a way) child who was insecure and all that fun stuff, and a series of tramautizing affects create her like so, as apposed to your look on the more peculiar side who was affected with harshness on others at a young age. I keep comparing Bella stories to Thw Wicked: The Life And Times Of The Wicked Witch Of The West by Gregory Maguire, and if someone wrote a fanfic like it, it would be kind of the in the middle of both our stories I think, seeing as it's a bit more leveled.
All in all, it's (or was) a GREAT story and was written amazingly! I really can't wait to read more-- ugh. it's a one shot.
There are so many more things I want to say: comment on events and such, but I have to get started on an essay for school ;-), and am probably gonna reivew again like a loser.... Haha, I really do adore this story!
So how do I close up this review if I can't say 'update soon?'
SnowyBellaAuthor's Response: How lovely, SnowyBella, you've left such a nice long review! And my reply will hardly give it justice, I'm afraid. Bella is such a strange creature -- we are shown only her resultive actions and re-actions, not their beginnings. It's rather a nice aspect of fanfiction to try to 'fill in the blanks'. I imagined her as perhaps a socio-path, perhaps not truly responsible for her actions because she's missing a vital cog in her brain to help her define right from wrong, good from evil. Perhaps she is missing a soul -- I don't know what you would say about someone who enjoys the pain of others. Fun to speculate, eh?? Again, thanks so much for your lovely review. Report Review
Well...I think I can safely say this is the most disturbing thing I have ever read. That was...brilliant. Bellatrix was perfect. Voldemort was perfect. Rudolphus was perfect. This sent shivers down my spine and I am breathless right now. Your gift for building on the characters is one of a kind. Thank you for writing this.Author's Response: Gee, I feel like a twisted relative of Vincent Price in being tickled pink that my story disturbed you! I think I was going for that actually, just because Bella herself is one sick puppy. I'm glad you (sorta) enjoyed this and . . . happy early Halloween! *evil snicker* ;-) Report Review
This, my dear, was truly evil. Chills ran down my spine. I think it's a very true portrayal of Bellatrix and Voldemort. (offside note-- I'm VERY glad I read the Beautitude of Snape first.... and now I must find something happy to read again!! I plan a full throttled nightmare if I don't)
The Wand. So scary.
I'm ending this here with this: You should be proud to note that your story scared, appalled and frightened me. Great job!! 10/10Author's Response: What is it that I see other people typing all the time? Mwah-ha-ha?? I LURV a good chill when reading and I guess I wanted to give others a bit of that too. I find Bella one of the creepier characters in the HP world; what in the world would make someone enjoy torturing others? I glad you . . .er . . . enjoyed it! ;-) Report Review
That was wonderful, really good. Nice way you presented it too, moving in and out. I was totally surprised by the ending, but it was appropriate. Thanks for the good read.Author's Response: Funny -- that ending caught a lot of folks off-guard. I'm glad you enjoyed this -- thanks again!! Report Review
Woa that's plain evil. Great writing :)))Author's Response: Thanks, magicflute -- this was 'evil' fun to write, too!! Report Review
Oh dear. I'm afraid I haven't a thing to say that could truly convey my utter adoration of this story. It is everything that Bella is, really, and I can't say much more than that. Never, never have I read anything like this. It is too brilliant. 10/10, of course.Author's Response: Oh my, I'm blushing as I write. Thanks a lot for your kind words. They've really made my day!! Report Review
Wow. I have to say I absolutely loved this story. You captured Bellatrix perfectly and showed her to be just as I imagined her. Author's Response: Thanks so much, Parseltongue. This was a challenge to write, to try to capture Bella and give her some reason why she became the person she did. Report Review
You have truly blown me away. And that doesn't happen often, trust me. It seems that you have captured the very essence of Bellatrix, that sadistic streak that makes her who she is. You had requested a comment on the back and forth motion of this story, and I must say I liked it, I felt it added a sense of disconcertingness. (Yes, I know that's not a word, oh well)
I am truly very impressed at your characterization of Bella, it's absolutely breathtaking, she's so incredibly well- real. Your descriptions are solid, never too mcuh, and the vocabulary use is perfect. Not overly verbose, but not lacking either.
I just have two of the tinies qualms ever for you. The first being the asteriks around the "silence". It just bothers me, I don't know, it detracts from the aura of this story, the professionalism of it, persay. The second is you mixed up breath with breathe here.
"She tried to scream, to breath, but couldn’t."
You have been awarded the honor of my first 10 rating since the system came up, wonderful job!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your stunning review; I'm blushing as I type! The truly evil among us are strangely fascinating and I find myself trying to figure out why they can look so much like you and me, and yet have such a dark place inside. I'm glad to see that you think I approached this exploration of Bellatrix well.
Also, thanks for the breath/breathe comment -- I shall trot of right now and fix it!
Honor, indeed, to be a 10! Thank you so much!! Report Review
Oh my. This is just... I can't even describe it. It completely transcends anything that I could say about it. It's so dark and beautiful and everything great about writing and bad about humanity smushed into this amazing little package. I mean... I can't even... Guh. I'm still in shock. It's a shame the rating only goes up to ten...
Total loss for words X_x Brilliant.Author's Response: *blushing profusely* Gosh, I don't know if I deserve all that praise! Thank you so much, I'm really glad that this thing has touched you so. It was an experience to write -- not always pleasant because of the subject, but it was a story needing to be told. You've made my day! Report Review
Beautiful, haunting and disturbing...describes the fic almost down to par...Interesting, one might say...Author's Response: Yeah, this was a strange little thing. Thanks for stopping by! Report Review
Oh my. Oh yum. Dr. Lecter, I think we have some dinner guests for you... no, not that way, put down the Stryker saw! Seriously, that was right up there with Thomas Harris' depictions of Francis Dolarhyde. I have chills. Author's Response: Ahhh . . . a fellow lover of the macabre. This juicy thang was both extraordinary fun . . . and immensely disturbing to write. Thanks for the feedback! Report Review
Astonishingly well-thought out and carried out! Dark, disturbing and yet tantalizing all at once. I was almost afraid to read more, but I dare not stop. Wonderfully enchanting. Rating: 10, and you'll be making an appearance on my favorites list!Author's Response: Thanks so much -- if you can believe it, it was just as disturbing to write. I was quite glad to be done with it at the end. These are NOT fun people! Thanks again for your nice comments! Report Review
SCREAM! This is by far, one of the most riveting and amazingly realistic stories I have EVER READ - especially about a Death Eater. My god, I almost have a movie rolling in my head from your slightly subtle but rich descriptions! Beautiful, my dear! 10/10!Author's Response: SCREAM -- thanks for the review -- I love enthusiasm!! I'm a very visual person (background in theatre and art), so I think my stories wind up like mini-movies. Thanks again - you've made my day!! Report Review
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