Reading Reviews for Legend of the Black Stag
50 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HarryPotterGeek Part 2

31st March 2012:
Its like Beauty and the Beast! I love this story!!

 Report Review

Review #2, by Parah Part 2

25th June 2011:
Oh my gosh this was so sweet and amazing! I loved it!

 Report Review

Review #3, by norse_witch Part 2

12th May 2007:
AWESOME!!! It was so adorable! I wish more stories had a completely awesome plot like this! I love Freya, she's so different! Just like a Weasley should be.

Author's Response: Thank you for very much for the review! Glad you liked it! ^_^

 Report Review

Review #4, by DanRulz93 Part 2

26th November 2006:
So it a great story but you ended it to quickly, also i dont get why they couldnt make wands but it was sweet

Author's Response: Thank you very much. The making of wands had been forgotten as part of the curse cast upon the world with Voldemort's destruction. At least that's what I meant. Thanks for reviewing, and yeah, ended quite quickly. Maybe I should consider working on a longer version in the future. :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by Sophia Montgomery Part 2

27th August 2006:
'Freya looked around, full of excitement, her eyes exploring every corner of the village and memorizing every detail even when it was nighttime' I think 'even though it was nighttime' would flow better. 'Some of the females had tiny baby centaurs in slings, the babies nuzzling against the chests of their mothers.' The portion of 'the babies nuzzling...' is a runon sentence. '"Maybe you should check in there?" reacted Daffodil. ' I don't know about saying 'reacted'. It would go better with something that is more dramatic and surprising to readers. 'Soon enough she was on a race with the stag after her and she hastily climbed a tree. ' On a race? Do you mean in? 'Daffodil was screaming and muttering that they were going to die, but Freya completely ignored the fairy. ' How can you scream - an expression of unhinged emotion, and then go to muttering?

I noticed more errors in this portion of your story but nonetheless it worked it's way out with the 'happily ever after' ending. Good work!

Author's Response: Wow! I honestly never thought of so many mistakes there! I should really go to those at some point. Thanks for pointing them out. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for taking your time to review!

 Report Review

Review #6, by Sophia Montgomery Part 1

27th August 2006:
'"Nothing, mum. Mum?" the kind looking woman with long brown hair in two braids...' Mum should be capitalized. You have an interesting writing style- what with the way you mix around some of the parts of where you say who says what and little things like that. It works well for the sort of story you are telling. I think some parts could use a bit of rearranging to make it flow more smoothly, though. Also, you need more spacing, like right before this line- '"How did you know about the black stag roaming these forests?" a centaur with black hair asked'.

Other than that, I enjoyed this first part!

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out those details. I'll keep them in mind. And I'll see if I can fix the part that needs capitalized. Thanks Sophia!

 Report Review

Review #7, by butterbeer adict Part 2

13th August 2006:
this is a wonderful story and it is definetly going on my favorites list!!!
*rates 10*

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm happy you enjoyed it as I enjoyed writing it very much! :)

 Report Review

Review #8, by butterbeer adict Part 1

13th August 2006:
im officially hooked!

Author's Response: I'm so glad! :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by mimi2236 Part 2

8th July 2006:
wow it great

Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you liked it!

 Report Review

Review #10, by RichandPaMiggles Part 2

30th May 2006:
This was fantastic. I think I liked the 2nd part even better than the first and I just loved the first part, too. You created a fantastic world, totally in keeping with JKR but made it entirely your own. I loved how you tied in the power of love, the view of female centaurs,( I always wondered why we only see the male ones in HP?), though colts do walk at birth and I don’t think centaur babes would be carried in slings? Not sure?

That miniscule criticism is all I can think to give. I loved your story, it was beautifully written, well thought out, the dialogue and the descriptions all flowed wonderfully. You should be very proud of this. It is by far my favorite of your works (I didn’t review every chapter of you 7th year, but am enjoying it, too). You wrote a fantastic little Harry Potter fairy tale. I wish it could have been longer, because I enjoyed it so much, but the way you had it is the perfect length. Thanks for a great read!!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked the 2nd part even better! I still don't know how I came up with this idea, but I'm glad many have enjoyed it, including you. About the female centaurs and the babies, you do have a point, but I think I'll leave as it is to give them a kind of human touch rather than a more animalistic one. It's a bit hard to explain. lol

I am proud of this, I can assure you that. Probably one of the works I'm most happy about. Thank you very much for such a lovely review!

 Report Review

Review #11, by RichandPaMuggles Part 1

26th May 2006:
Wow, fantastic! I loved this story! I can't wait to finish it. You've created such a fantastic and yet still plausible world! The writing was fantastic, I only noticed one typo in the whole thing, "Lied" instead or "laid down." YOur writting flowed with such wonderful descriptions and characters. I cannot think of a single critical thing to say about this story because it seems almost perfect! A+

Author's Response: Glad you've liked it so far! I'll see if I can find that typo in the depths of the chapter. LOL Maybe if you had mentioned the whole sentence... :p Thank you very much!

 Report Review

Review #12, by Chakia Part 2

19th May 2006:
Awww, I really adore that little girl named Freya. I wanted to be her sister! Another awww, what an ending. All I can say is "Perfect" and I'm not kidding. Yeah, love is the greatest magic of all. Everything is interesting, everything is great about this story.

I really adore all of her attempts to get close to it. Whew, I just loved the whole thing. You have an amazing imagination that I really envy. You're great! ~ Kia

Author's Response: LOL Many people say that I have a lot of imagination. I guess they might be right. Thank you for such lovely reviews, Kia! :)

 Report Review

Review #13, by Chakia Part 1

19th May 2006:
Whew, its quite a long read.. I have to say that I love this so far! The story is so interesting and a very enjoyble read. I'm very amazed with all the information you put in this story. The plot of this story is like a very different world. You created a new world and wrote it perfectly. I'm really amazed with this story - very unique and very excellent. Also, you obviously pay great attention to detail. You're such a great writer! ~ Kia

Author's Response: Thank you very much! Those are very lovely compliments! I'm glad you find it enjoyable as I enjoyed writing it very much! Making a different kind of world was a bit difficult, but I tried to picture it as best as I could. Glad you liked it!

 Report Review

Review #14, by Lone Fairy (not logged on) Part 2

16th May 2006:
Wow! 'mazing story! I really liked this and it was a brilliant idea! How did you come up with this? I loved this story it's going on my faves when I log on!

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely compliments! I'm really not sure how I came up with it. Blame it on the plot bunnies along with the fact that I was quite the avid Brothers' Grimm fairy tales reader. I do remember reading a story from my thick Brothers' Grimm about a prince that had been turned into a stag. I think it was a prince that had been turned into a stag. I honestly don't remember, but part of the idea came from that combined with Harry's Patronus/James' animagus form. I'm glad you loved it and consider it for your favourites. Thank you for reviewing! :)

 Report Review

Review #15, by sugarhighz Part 2

10th May 2006:
great job! i really liked it. you were right in saying that it was worth the read. it was a wonderful story that you put together nicely. the only thing i found with it was that at some points it seemed a little rushed through. an example would be the ending where harry turns back into a human. i didn't really feel a connection to the characters. but other than that, the story was great! keep writing!


Author's Response: Glad you liked it and found it worth your read even if it's so different. And yes, I remember telling my beta that I felt I was rushed at the ending. Some people notice and some people don't. I might rewrite that a bit and add because I tried to make this a one-shot originally, but I thought it was coming out too long. That might be what made me rush a bit. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #16, by sugarhighz Part 1

10th May 2006:
Amazing first chapter. I love how Freya's so outgoing and adventurous. The plot has been developed nicely throughout this part and I give you props =). I also really like the idea of how wizards and witches stopped creating wands, making it really hard for them to do magic. Good job!

Author's Response: I actually enjoyed writing that bit about the wand making having been stopped and thought as lost. I liked making this a bit post Apocalyptic and making it difficult for wizards, leading them to an almost Muggle life. Glad you found the plot was nicely developed in this chapter. I was afraid I was dragging too much. :)

 Report Review

Review #17, by slytheringinny Part 2

10th May 2006:
AWWW HOW CUTE!!!!!!!!!! I loved it to death! Bravo...great story and it was very well written and laid out! Bravo! To the favourites! ~slytheringinny

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it! I'm rather proud of this fic. :)

 Report Review

Review #18, by Ridikulus Part 2

7th May 2006:
Good story, I must say. It was a very interesting, creative plot- good job! Besides the fact that it could use a bit more description, I think this story of yours was positively wonderful! Great work!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! And yes! My weakness is description. I'm trying to work on it. We'll see how that goes. ;)Thanks for reviewing and glad you enjoyed it!

 Report Review

Review #19, by potteratcams Part 2

30th April 2006:
abolutely LOVE IT. omg. this was a really well written and captivating story! the first word that went through my mind after i finished it was WOW. the way you wrote what happened after harry defeated voldemort was amazing and entirely believable. the plot was good, and i thought it was very original.

no suggestions at all. just great job and keep up the good work! i saw the fic u have with ayame, and i cant wait for the first chapter.


Author's Response: Thank you for all those compliments! I actually wondered if what happened in the last battle could be somewhat believable. I'm glad you find it so, especially since I needed it that way for the fairy tale touch. Hope to be submitting the first chapter for the Ayame fic soon enough. It just needed to perform a lot of softening on it because even when it did comply with the ToS it was a bit stretchy, even the first chapter. LOL Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #20, by Sandra Part 1

19th April 2006:
Though let me add, it mind need a bit more descrpition :)

Author's Response: I'll be working on that. Thanks! ;)

 Report Review

Review #21, by Sandra Part 2

19th April 2006:
Great chapter again, you're a great writer, I look forward 2 reading your other stories :D And the quote at the ending is really nice.

Author's Response: Thank you! The quote is something I came up with after the story was finished. I thought it fit in nicely.

 Report Review

Review #22, by Sandra Part 1

19th April 2006:
Very good story :) Your grammer and spelling are great, and the story is intresting to read. I like it. The beginning reminds me of those old folk tales that they tell in small village's. I instantly liked the gilr. Is the old man Ron Weasley?

Author's Response: The old man is actually a descendant of Ron Weasley that was named after Ron, or kind of (only the Ronald for his middle name is different). I'm glad you liked Freya. I tried to make her like a plain and normal girl. I like the fact that the beginning reminded you of old folk tales because that was the idea. Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #23, by JacoIII Part 1

19th April 2006:
This is the review you asked me to do (forums). This is what I'm talking about! I like your ideas, very original and well thought out. Although your writing style feels a bit hurried to me, you try to describe a few things in a single sentance to often. This whole idea of witches and wizards with dormant magical abilities works really well, kind of a post apocalyptic world. I never really thought about what would happen if Voldemort were to die, it seems like the thing he'd do, seal a deadly curse inside his body. I would like to see you write something else of this caliber in the future, just make it longer. Use more detail.

Author's Response: Thanks for the CC! And yes, description is one of my weaknesses. I'll try to improve so I can learn how to describe better. I'm glad you liked the idea of a post apocalyptic world. I don't know how I envisioned that, but it made sense to me in a way. Thanks for your review! I had almost forgotten I had posted in some 'Offering to Review' threads!

 Report Review

Review #24, by Bibbs Part 2

14th April 2006:
Awww! What a perfect ending. I had a feeling it would be love that would break the curse. I really enjoyed everything about this last half. The centaur village was really interesting to read about. I even enjoyed the bath scene! It was nice to read about how the centaurs might survive in the forest. I never would have thought that they’d have a village, but why not, the mermaids do. I especially like how the centaurs could see that the time for the stag was now right, the same way they told her great grandfather that it wasn’t.

Obviously, the black stag was the best part of this. It was funny at first, all of her attempts to get close to it. I had to laugh at the thought of her being chased up a tree for several hours. Not only that, but the vision of her rolling in dirt and crawling around on all fours trying to get it to come near her. Haha. I really like that you gave the stag green eyes as well. Oh, and I loved how it could put its thoughts inside her head.

Heck, I just loved the whole thing. This is definitely the best thing you’ve written. You can’t even tell that its so long, it just goes by so quickly. Poor Harry though, even though he married her (so he must have been happy) it probably sucked to come back to a world where everyone you know is dead.

Author's Response: I had fun creating the centaur village. I mean, they must have a way to grow in numbers so I decided that only the males roam the forests because it's a male dominant community and the females remain in town. lol I really enjoy centaurs and thought I could use them big time to signal if the time was right or not. It was fun! Glad you liked it! Thank you, Bibbs!

 Report Review

Review #25, by Bibbs Part 1

14th April 2006:
Hey Yuu! Sorry its taken me so long. I saved these in Word when reviews were down and am only just now getting around to posting them!

First of all, I have to say that I love this so far! It’s a very easy read! You’ve kept things so interesting and enjoyable! One thing that I noticed right away is the amount of research that you put into it, naming some of the magical creatures. I love the atmosphere that you created, all magic seeming to be wiped out, such as the loss of wands. It sounds like a really…not fun world at all, which really works well here because it makes you WANT the black stag to be found so that it can all end. This is really long (didn’t you say it was over 11,000 words?) But now that I am reading it, it actually seems very short. I am amazed at all the information you’ve packed into it so far and now 11,000 words doesn’t seem nearly long enough!

When you were talking about it, I was a little confused about what a “fairy tale fic” was, but now I can see perfectly. It really does seem like you are telling a fairy tale. The fun part is that the stag part is like a fairy tale within a fairy tale. Anyway, the way its written makes it that much more enjoyable. This is definitely my favorite thing that you have written so far, well done!

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so glad you like it so much! I'm quite proud of it even though I know there is always place for improvement! I'm also glad that you feel it short.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>