1,328 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ReluctantMuggle The Sorting Hat's Last Song

25th November 2015:
Oh wow, did you write that poem by yourself? That's super impressive!

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Review #2, by ARLENE Guardians of Hogwarts

9th November 2014:
forgot me not is true love i had it on a little orniment in the language of flower the field of forget me not signifies true love. loving the story

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Review #3, by Mrs_H Out of the Ashes

5th January 2014:
Excellent story! Very well plotted and written, aside from some common grammar errors the betas should have caught. Thanks for sharing it.

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Review #4, by Mom of Tom Where it All Started

27th July 2013:
I noticed some errors in your first chapter. I waited to send a review until I had read a few more chapters, just to see if it was an isolated incident. I've gotten far enough along to see that it isn't. There are several places where you use the wrong words ("where" instead of "were," and "loose" instead of "lose") are two examples. I don't know if you have anyone proofreading your work before you submit it, but it might not be a bad idea. I have found that spell-checking will accept anything it recognizes as a word without considering context to be sure it is the correct word. I like your story line so far, and I think you keep the plot flowing along very nicely, but the errors distract from your work.

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Review #5, by Hannah R.A.B.

27th February 2013:
I thought that this was great. You write very well (your style reminds me of JK Rowling's) and you are quite accurate. However, I'm pretty sure that Regulus' middle name is Arcuturus and not Augustus. Still great though!

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Review #6, by az Out of the Ashes

29th December 2012:
Hmm. This story could've been really good. When I started reading it, I was interested in the concept of Harry basing his search for the Horcruxes out of Hogwarts. However, you quickly dropped that concept in favor of introducing and forcing your Mary Sue on us in a way that might make him look like a hero. All you really did was make Harry look weak. And your hero? The only heroic thing he did was throw himself in front of a killing curse, which I don't really think counts as protecting Hermione. That was his big plan for making sure she was safe? Ha! I just felt really let down by this story. Seemed like kind of a cop out. I do appreciate the effort that went into this but maybe next time you work out your plot a little better beforehand.

Oh, and get a beta reader. You could really use it.

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Review #7, by az The Meeting of the Heirs

29th December 2012:
I love how topher is explaining to everyone like it's some surprise that Hermione is dying from this book when he's the one that insisted Harry go after it in the first place. I'd be pretty peeved if I were Harry.

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Review #8, by az The Visions

29th December 2012:
Don't loose hope. Jesus.

Wormtail looking out for someone besides himself? BS.

Breaking News: Random Mary Sue OC can conquer death!

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Review #9, by az The Book of Thoth

29th December 2012:
Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and stick with my opinion that your OC Topher is a Mary Sue. Either that or a huge tool. What kind of guy pushes someone into a relationship only to turn around and force that relationship into peril later? He keeps pressuring Harry into reading this scroll, fully knowing that it's going to kill his GF. And why is Harry taking this idiot's advice? Why did he just give up on destroying Horcrux's? Is this guy so ridiculously important that Harry is going to ignore everything Dubledore wanted him to do? I'm kinda disappointed with where I think this story will end up going but, what the hell? It's almost over.

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Review #10, by Az Falling and the Feather

29th December 2012:
I like this story but your grammar is killing me! Using 'worst' instead of 'worse' or 'loosing' instead of 'losing' are two of the major ones that make me grit my teeth in frustration. I'd recommend a beta reader next time. As for the story, I like the idea very much, although the new DADA teacher kinda seems a little too Mary Sue for my tastes. Good story overall.

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Review #11, by fictionfan Closing a Door and Opening a Window

14th December 2012:
hey chris.. am posting this to get a small clarification!
About slughorn, why is he acting like he has frgotten things? cos wasnt he the one who told voldemort@tom riddle about horcruxes and wen he saw the potion cassa sumthin, which is a soul destroyr, why did he not questino harry? why did he not connect 1 and 1???
PS: Am loving this story... cheers! :)

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Review #12, by Christine The Oroborus Light

29th October 2012:
NO Topher! Why did you have to die??!?!?!?!?!?

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Review #13, by Lindsay Out of the Ashes

18th July 2012:
You had me bawling! Amazing story, but seriously, I was dying!

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Review #14, by booksbooksbooks Out of the Ashes

28th April 2012:
WOW. That was amazing, so much detail! I cried so much when hermione/harry died and was so happy when I read this chapter. You should totally use your talent of writing and take it further, to bigger and better places! I dont know what else to say, I enjoyed it so much, thank you for sharing your talent with me! :) x

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Review #15, by Raiku Out of the Ashes

12th December 2011:
What happened to Draco Malfoy?

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Review #16, by entropy Out of the Ashes

15th October 2011:
Thanks, thoroughly enjoyed the story.

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Review #17, by Martin Wagoner Out of the Ashes

29th June 2011:
Honestly? I can only say that this story is FIRST-CLASS! I've never read another Harry Potter FanFiction, or any other FanFiction, as great as this. You're a very imaginative individual and I'll be printing this and adding it to my Favorites right now.

P.S. I love Harry and Hermione pairings. :)

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Review #18, by trin Out of the Ashes

15th February 2011:
This story was absolutely amazing. I copied and pasted the story into a word document and sent it to my ebook reader. I could not put it down. I could not help reading it everywhere I went. I always like the idea of harry and hermione together. Their courtship in your story was gradual and didn't seem rush like other stories. Again it was great! I look forward to your other works!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I'm so glad to hear you decided to bring it around with you to read! You gotta love technology eh?

Still wonderful to hear that people are enjoying my story, be it in need of editing! Thanks again trin!

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Review #19, by Anthony Reed Out of the Ashes

12th January 2011:
Grade A story telling right here.

This is the best H/Hr 7th book replacement I've read to date.

I look forward to any and all of your other works.

PS I can't seem to find the 11/10 rating so I guess 10/10 will do, but you desirve more.

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Review #20, by epsilon The Secret Choice

7th January 2011:
I always wished that JK would pull it out on us that harry and Hermione would get together because Ginny barely knew harry so you didn't really get to see there relation ship evolve... I feel like such a girl, but i do enjoy a good romance it seems because most of my fav HPFF's are romances... well 90% of them are... so... yeah...

know you probably wont read this as well but meh

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Review #21, by malhar329 Out of the Ashes

30th November 2010:

So, firstly, I have to say that this was quite a substitute to JKR's Deathly Hallows. I realize that it's been 3 years since you started this and so I must say I'm quite surprised at seeing this story get only such nominal appraisal over the last 2 years. I've read three different alternative seventh-year stories so far and this certainly is the most interesting, intriguing and complex amongst them and so (I believe) this story certainly deserves more recognition. I simply love how there's so many intricate details woven in here, just as in JKR's writing, although I'm sure that the detailing probably brings forth lots of problems for you (which I understand might be the reason why there's a few minuscule plot-holes here and there).

But, honestly, I've never been that big of a fan of JKR's original Deathly Hallows book since I find it very rushed (especially in the latter parts with the Horcruxes and the battle at Hogwarts). And so I find this sufficiently more detailed in parts such as the battle at Hogwarts because you are able to tell everyone's story here instead of just focusing on Harry or Voldemort, which JKR does. I was a little disappointed with the first 5 or 6 chapters at first but I think the last 15 chapters more than make up for that.

Well, anyways, I created a PDF of the entire story for my own reading and so I thought why not share it here so that it'd be easier for other people to read too. The PDF is in the same font (Garamond) that JKR uses for her books and I also included some of the comments that you'd added after each chapter (although it is missing a book cover). But, unfortunately, this review doesn't allow me to post links here so if you know of another way to post the PDF here, do tell me, cause I'd be glad to help get this story a little more recognition.

Author's Response: Hello malhar!

Well, thank you for the nice review, and I'm very pleased you enjoyed HPOL. As you said, there are some clear plot holes and things I'd like to fix up, but unfortunately I have not found the drive to do so, especially since so few people read the story nowadays.

But it's pleasing to know people are still reading, and sort of glossing over the plot holes and grammatical errors to enjoy the story as a whole.

After reading Deathly Hallows, I felt the same as you, that the first few chapters were dragging. I changed Chapter 2 to sort of get across the idea of a tense world, but I haven't revised the story since then. Obviously if I do find the time to revise the story further, the following chapters would have a bit more activity.

I didn't actually read Deathly Hallows until this past summer, but yeah, definitely felt that some spots were far longer than needed, while others were rushed. The whole final battle with Voldemort and Harry took about 2 pages, which I didn't like. You don't hear much about the battle, and all the deaths happen off-page, which I thought was kind of a cheap way of killing characters, especially Lupin and Tonks.

Feel free to have the pdf for yourself, and do (if you wish) check out my other stories. Still trying to get into the writing gig again to finish my last 3 stories, but it's been slow going.

Thanks again for the review!

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Review #22, by volpé Out of the Ashes

6th October 2010:
nice story. I would be able to translate it into Finnish. whether it is okay?

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Review #23, by Mark The Oroborus Light

6th October 2010:
In this chapter Ron and Luna get the Map from Neville, but earlier Harry had already taken the map to look for the snake.

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Review #24, by hannah_malfoy Out of the Ashes

16th June 2010:
That was really good i can't think of anything else to say. It was one of those story's that you can only read once. Then after a while you can go back and read again. It was a perfect ending i laughed and cried and was mad at some points but in the end i would have to say that you shouldn't change a thing. Even though i don't like the fact that ginny died. Good work and cant wait to see what you come up with next.

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks a lot for the review, and glad there was a good amount of emotion while you read! There are a few things to be fixed up when I get the time, but overall, very happy to hear you liked the story, even if Ginny had to die.

Thanks again!

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Review #25, by browngreeneyes The Secret Choice

15th May 2010:
An excellent start to this fic and I can't wait to see how this story pans out. Keep up the good work.

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