Reading Reviews for A Zabini Revealed
  
397 Reviews Found

Review #1, by omnomnom Happy times and then not so happy times

9th January 2013:
Its sooo good I love it!!! Please update soon!

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Review #2, by Kari Beth The Past

2nd June 2012:
Only thing I see that you might want to change is that squibs can not do magic. They are of magical lineage but can not perform it themselves. Over all though, it was a great beginning chapter!

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Review #3, by Ilovethisbeat101 Diagon Ally and Re-sorting

8th April 2012:
I think that you might put her into a house that will be a lost one... Well I dunno onto the next chapter!! Buyebye!
10/10

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Review #4, by dracoisamazing2011 Surprises and much more

10th October 2011:
well i like this story but it seems to methat theres a huge gap between the ch before this one and this one i didnt know that draco and hermione mione had sex

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Review #5, by hp luver Rescuing Mia

29th December 2010:
Really good can't wait for the next update! Just a random question but do you happen to live in Canada? Some of the stores and brand names are very femilier

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Review #6, by Shar Happy times and then not so happy times

30th November 2010:
Plz wright more soon plz! Plz! plz!

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Review #7, by Cow_town_cutie Happy times and then not so happy times

11th July 2009:
Please update ASAP! I need more of this story.
Im pretty much addicted. Saying you did great would be the understatement of the year.

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Review #8, by nadiaaaaa Happy times and then not so happy times

10th May 2009:
omg! update! please!

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Review #9, by Brooke Granger Happy times and then not so happy times

7th January 2009:
That's just torture! lol. Seriously though you have to update soon. I'm very interested. Keep up the awesome work. I'm looking forward to the next chapter very much.

10/10
BG

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Review #10, by young_lana_witch Happy times and then not so happy times

20th May 2008:
AHHH I'M SAD NOW... YOU CANT LEAVE IT AT THAT... =[ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE SOON... PRETTY PLEASE... 10/10
AHH WHO IS TBC ???

Author's Response: sorryyy ): ive been too busy fo words

thanx 4 ur review


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Review #11, by Hibiscus The Past

16th April 2008:
Now, I don't claim to be the greatest author on earth or anything but this story really takes the cake. I couldn't bare to read past the first chapter.

What really made me angry was your disclaimer. I'm going to make this perfectly clear so that it's out in the open: TOM FELTON IS NOT DRACO MALFOY. IF HE WERE DRACO MALFOY J.K. ROWLING WOULD HAVE NAMED DRACO TOM FELTON.

::hits head over and over again::

You fangirls really need to get your crap straight because it's just plain annoying. Draco Malfoy is a rich spoiled kid and will probably always be that. I'm sorry but I don't find that quality "hawt" in some one.

Oh and Blaise Zabini is black. Therefore Hermione aka "Mia" would have to be black. Black people are good looking and hot too you know.

Author's Response: ok well i like him and its my story and MY DISCLAIMER so ill write it the way i want and if you dont like it DEAL

and second of all i dont find him that attractive anymore

and I HAVE NOTHING WRONG WITH BLACK PPL if u dont know someone dont make comments like that CUZ U MAKE ME SOUND RACIST

thanx 4 ur review


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Review #12, by sparkypony Sleepovers and Surprises

11th April 2008:
You have a lot of pointless diologe which makes your story a bit boring.

Author's Response: yeah im sorry you felt that way but thanx 4 ur review!

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Review #13, by Jayme Happy times and then not so happy times

4th April 2008:
i love this story keep righting and i will read

Author's Response: lol ill try my hardest to update soon!
'
thanx 4 ur review


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Review #14, by slytherindracomalfoygirl Happy times and then not so happy times

24th March 2008:
NO NO NO NO NO what is it with you and evil cliffies but anyway really good story 10/10 and PLEASE update soon

Author's Response: im on major writers block..maybe in the summer?? im really busy w/ school too ):

thanx 4 ur review!


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Review #15, by slytherindracomalfoygirl 

24th March 2008:
AWW sooo sweet i love dramione storys like this update soon=]

Author's Response: haha same thats why i wrote it..

thanx 4 ur review!


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Review #16, by Ocean_addicted Happy times and then not so happy times

22nd March 2008:
Oh my gosh that is a real cliffie please update asap i would really apprieciate it.

Author's Response: lol im skilled when it comes to those

thanx 4 ur review!


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Review #17, by soccerstarfelton Happy times and then not so happy times

15th March 2008:
i love this story and then you have to go and ruin it for people. but you have to update soon and if you have any problems you can tell me

Author's Response: im sooo sorry ): ill really try but thanks for offering help!

thanx 4 ur review!


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Review #18, by freakykitten1992 Happy times and then not so happy times

3rd March 2008:
please please please please.up-date soon!!! this is an amzing story btw. 100/100

~Jem~

Author's Response: ill try but im suffering from MAJOR writers block ):

thanks 4 ur review!!


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Review #19, by Hermione18 Happy times and then not so happy times

14th February 2008:
Please write more so i'll know what will happen please

Author's Response: ill try but i cant promise anything..

thanks 4 ur review


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Review #20, by alicia Happy times and then not so happy times

11th February 2008:
Your story's pretty good, but i hink it should be rated 15 because it's not sensual 5/10

Author's Response: thanks..well yeah but when i put it in for submission they wouldnt let it pass under 15+..

thanx 4 ur rveiew


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Review #21, by Paws Happy times and then not so happy times

11th February 2008:
I'm sorry to say but you need to work on taking peoples ideas. I read a story almost exactly like this plot line except theirs was more in the harry potter series way not the i'm going to write about what i want to be. Your story says that your a 16 year old preppy girl from somewhere in a small town or even in a big town but just not rich and that your life is just not what you want it to be so you write this. Don't take other peoples ideas unless you can make them better. Your writting could be so much better if you would actually use it for something other than writting about you good stories are about great plot lines by good authors and your story just isn't that.

Author's Response: ok first of all ur review is rly hard to read TAKE AN ENGLISH CLASS!! second of all there are a BILLION hermione turns pureblood stories on this site so get over it third of all...wat 16 yr old thats preppy but has a sucky life?? dont write reviews if you cant make sense

thanx 4 ur hard to interpret review


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Review #22, by cooptown1331 The Past

24th January 2008:
hm, interesting...
the dialog seems a bit off and it goes a bit fast, but w/e...
i like it tho =^.^=

Author's Response: yeah it was my first story..my other stories will be better...

thanx 4 ur review


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Review #23, by Slytherin Girl 01 Happy times and then not so happy times

12th January 2008:
WAH!More Pretty please!?This is so good!And good work on making Hermione a pure blood that's what I'm doing in my story.Hope you'll read it.Its called the slytherin's princess.
10/10

Author's Response: i promise ill go read it right now...

thanx 4 ur review


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Review #24, by Jess Happy times and then not so happy times

11th January 2008:
Arg! Why do you have to torture your readers so much!!! *throws rotten fruits and veggies at you* Jk jk. I would never do that. :P I know you love to have cliffs..then laugh an evil laugh(mwahahaha) while we, your faithful readers, sit patiently waiting for the next chapter to come up...well, maybe not patiently, more like *throws a fit*, yah well, you get my point.
Great story, btw!!! Update soon
*throws out some CONFETTI* 100/10!

Author's Response: hahaha thanks..well midterms are coming up but ill be sure to post after them...i cant failll!!!

thanx 4 ur review


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Review #25, by OversizedSunglasses Happy times and then not so happy times

25th December 2007:
I see that you've been writing this story for quite a while. Since 2006? That's a long time and good job and not giving up on your story!

However, I have to say that this is not the greatest story I have ever read. Everything is very uncoordinated, I guess. Your grammar is not great, and neither is the whole plot in general. I mean, I like the idea that Hermione is really a Zabini, but how original is that?

First, even if Hermione were a Zabini, she never would have accepted it to quickly. To all of a sudden be into Draco, to act differently to her friends since she was 11 is just too much. Hermione would never change like that. And neither would Draco. Even if Hermione were a Pureblood, I don't think that he would ever accept her so quickly either. Purebloods can be rivals, can't they?

I also think you could improve on the way you executed your story. The way you describe your characters isn't exactly clear. Like I said, Hermione is nothing really like her old self. And Draco is just some 'Sex God turned soft'. I think you could really develop your characters, especially Hermione, Draco and Blaise. How would Blaise and Draco REALLY react when they saw that a Mudblood was now Blaise's sister. What would be troubling them on the inside? How are they supposed to deal with it? Instead of just saying 'Omg! You're my sis now!' or 'Omg! You've got a hot body and I want you!' You could have really dove deeper. I mean, you changed Hermione into a totally different person. It's like she was reborn into a new human being. She lost all of her old self, and you made her to out of character. Along with Draco. I mean, Hermione getting pregnant[or should I say Mia?] That would never happen. She would not lose her values all because of a love that hasn't been a long one.

But, none the less, I see improvement in the future for you. You're chapters are evolving into better ones, and I can tell that if you really really really concentrated even more, it would be a fantabulous story.

All I can say now is think about what and who your characters are, how to develop the story and not under-develop your characters or totally change them.

Also, I'm sorry if I sounded harsh; I just wanted to help you improve your story. But if you don't want that, you can just ignore this review and get on with your story.

But lastly, good luck and I can see great potential in you!

Author's Response: thank u...but i think i started writing this about a yr ago...

well this was my first story and as i read the other stories on this site i realized that mine sounded rly juvenile...

and yes i do think i rushed the hermione/draco relationship along with her other relationships..

and that is true even blaise and draco seem quick to accept it and i think i should have stuck to mia/hermiones original values...and i dont think its realistic that she would lose her virginity to a guy that was her arch nemesis within like 8 chappies..

thank u soooo much for your advice and stuff and when i come out with my next story i promise it will be much better and more realistic...

tanx 4 taking the time to read and review!


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