hi, loved your story :) it has a good plot to it with a lot of emotion etc. Hope u update soon.

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I really like the story alot but i would like to read the unedited version, so yeah my emal is ilovesbettyboop@yahoo.com =] please and thaanks

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Hey. Love your story. I know you haven't updated in awhile, but could you please send me the unedited version? Thanxs!
jmb513@comcast.net

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Hey! Great going till now. I don't have those feeds or whatever. Is it possible for you leave a message at lovelysmiles92-cool@yahoo.co.uk when the next cha p is pulished. Waiting.

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love this story!

rambaby89@yahoo.com

thanks!

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really, really good update soon

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Is it to late for the unedited version?

eric-therrien@hotmail.com

Thx

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i really enjoyed this chapter, james is so cute in the hospital wing.

PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!

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i really really like the way you have interpreted James and Lily's relationship! I was so happy that they finally kissed, i think your marauder story where james and lily hook up is one of the best i've read

9/10 (the point off was for grammar and punctuation :( )

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aw james is just adorable

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OMG! That was certainly the way to end a chapter. I loved the whole wakeing up on the couch together, way sweet

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this was definitely an eventful chapter. I'm glad that you added the duels instead of just adding romantic stuff or a bunch of smut. The duels added a sense of adventure. Good job there.

I saw many grammatical errors, however, there were a few that really stood out.

1. "'unconvertible.'" I think you mean uncomfortable. The line doesn't make sense otherwise.
2. '"I will forgive you this once since you have not been taught no better.'" This should be "haven't been taught any better." Try not to use double negatives; it can be very confusing.
3. "Voldermort"-- should be spelled Voldemort.

Overall, this was a good chapter, and I'll be waiting for your next update.

--Kate/RP =)

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ah! i love it SUCH SUSPENSE! amazing job and i cant wait to find out what happens next so please update soon! like now soon ;)

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This is great can't wait
for the next update.

and could you
send the un-edited version
to luckiegirl316@hotmail.com
please =D

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I was very pleased to see an updated. I hope these critiques I'm offering help:

1] Remember subject-verb agreement. If you say, "James and Sirius _ seeing the girls," the blank should read "were," not "was." However, if you say, "James _ seeing Lily," the blank should read "was."

2] Don't write with run-on sentences. Make your sentences logical. Yours are logical, but without commas and other punctuation, they seem illogical.

These will probably be fixed by your beta, but I thought I would mention them.

Overall, good chapter, and I can't wait for the next!

=) Kate/RP

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loved loved loved loved loved! the chapter...especially lily's jealousy.

drose301@yahoo.com ;) pleaz and thank you

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Great chappie.
Keep adding


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Awesome chapter! I loved all of it. Though Lily's freak out pulling the girl off James's lap was a bit extreme, I loved the "cureses that can't be cured" threat, brilliant. All around just fantastic! :D

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Great fic! Update soon! 10/10 =)

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niun ui u

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cool! plz write more! it's really great!

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AWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE!!!!! I LOVE THIS STORY!!!!

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Hey, this was a great chapter. Can't wait for the next update!! =) --RP

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Awwwwwwww so sweet

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I love this fic!!!
Please update soon!!

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