Reading Reviews for La Herencia de Gaunt
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PadfootBlack16 El Gaunt Herencia

7th July 2007:
OK...well...im not sure what to think about it. It moves just a bit to fast for my like, i seriously think it would have been better if maybe you started the chapter off showing the Cid, maybe dining with Ximena, then going to bed and the snake bitting him. The description is great, i will say, but you just move arround to quickly, while i belive you could have went in and described it even better then what you have done here.
Also, just a comment here. I live in argentina, and so i know spanish and i wanted to let you know that the title is worded wrong for what you were trying to say. It should have been: La Herencia de Gaunt. YOu can change it if you want, i guess it dosnt matter, im just giving you a bit of advice. That is the correct wording. Herencia is female, so it needs to be "La" instead of "El" (which is male) and Gaunt Herencia should be "Herencia de Gaunt". Also, herencia is actually inheritance, though i can think of the correct word for heirloom. I am in no way actually flaming you, im just letting you know.

good job.

7/10

cheers,
pad

Author's Response: Thank you for that correction. I honestly don't know a word of Spanish and merely used an internet translator ... guess that didn't work so well *lol*.

You do have a point there on the additional scenes and slowing down. I guess this story could use a bit of an overhaul and be extended to 2 or 3 chapters. Thank you for that suggestion. I'll act upon it as soon as I can ... Just need to think of a way to re-write this and the scenes to be extended.

Truly appreciate the CC.


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Review #2, by ghostwriter1030 El Gaunt Herencia

2nd July 2007:
I think this was a very unique fic. I've never read a fanfic like this one. I enjoyed it and its going to my favorites.

Author's Response: Thank you. I know no better flattery than being added in one's list. Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #3, by Magicflute El Gaunt Herencia

6th September 2006:
Very interesting! But how did the locket end up in the Black house?

Author's Response: It didn't ... it ended up with the Gaunts ... :)

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Review #4, by rainbow92 El Gaunt Herencia

8th March 2006:
I have to commend you for this story-in many ways, it is one of the best stories on HPFF. I loved it.

The amount of work you put into this is truly amazing. Your research and knowledge astounds me; you've made this story so believable, and so brilliant. Niccolo himself is a wonderful character-he holds all the traits of a typical, snobby pureblood-he hates Muggle borns, Muggles, and weakness.

I really liked this. Even if you hadn't said so in the beginning, it was obvious form the language that it was set a long time ago. Which reminds me-you write really beautifully. ~Cathryn

Author's Response: *wow* thanks! ^_^ I just wanted to try out writing in a monologue ... to tell a story without dialogues and using just one person's POV ^_^ It's great to hear that it works. Thank you for your lovely review :)

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Review #5, by timeturner El Gaunt Herencia

8th March 2006:
You always have the most well researched thought out epics...even in a one shot form. Historical fiction is one of my favorite things to read and you certainly don't dissapoint. I liked the locket bit, and the atmosphere you have here is wonderful. You amaze me every time I read something of yours. Excellent, excellent job.

Author's Response: Thanks TT :) always a pleasure to read one of your review ^_^. Great to here that you like this one-shot. I just had to write it since I touched upon it slightly in my other Historical piece :)

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Review #6, by Kerryanah Black El Gaunt Herencia

24th February 2006:
This story is amazing, wonderous and simply stunning. I have to reccomend you. You obviously know what you're doing with all the history and things with i feel adds a sparkle to the story that many can't seem to replicate.

However it was quite complicated with alot of names and all, i kinda had to go back and check who the people were, but i would prefer if you kept that the same since its really effective. I think as soon as we get to know these people better (perhaps if you describe them a little more) we'll be able to identify who they are.

I love your writing style, very masculine and strong. Kind of how i imagine him to be, has a proud streak to it as well. And the adding of the name at the bottom gives it a certain flair which i simply demand you never to change.

I however do think that things need to be made a little clearer for the ones of us that are dunces, that is only if you want it to appeal to the younger crowd. I love how its been writin and would prefer it unchanged but its really about who you want it to appeal to. I was also a little unsure about the relationships that are going on, does Niccolo have a thing for Ximena?

Kerry------reviewer

Author's Response: Thanks Kerry. I guess the unfamiliar names is a consequence in writing this sort of fics. And descriptions? ^_^ Seems I still have to work on that -- although I am trying to be more descriptive than I used to be...-- hmm... from your review it seems that the description I need to work on more is a bit more on the character side.

Basically Niccolo does have a thing for Ximena, but he won her using dubious means (much like how Merope won Tom Riddle Sr.) However as Ximena said, he doesn't really love - he simply just wants to own Ximena and Valencia.

Thanks for reviewing -- gave me insight on what I ought to work on. :)

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Review #7, by PhoenixStorm El Gaunt Herencia

24th February 2006:
firstly, I'm sorry if your view count is a bit messed up, had a lot of trouble logging in to review this *rolls eyes*. secondly, omg! I don't know how you write like you do, but i'm glad I got to read it :).

I found a couple of tiny mistakes and that's all the criticism I can offer. I had my own reason for serving under his army reasons. I watched our numbers dwindle; although Fánez was a capable soldier and general, he was not El Cid dwindle: although. The silence was broken, as horses and men sprang to life no comma. There were a few bits of questionable punctuation in here, but overall it's very good and I picked out the bigger things (yeah, they were the bigger ones, think how little the others are! ;) ).

Now this is why i love your stories! You weave history form our world so well into the wizard one; I sear you could convince me of anything with your stories! These two sentences She cursed me, claimed that I did not understand love and that love would be the force to cause my downfall, and that of my descendants and This locket overcame Ximena once, it can act as a shield to protect were especially brilliant. I've no idea what strok eof genius occurred to you to write this story (which I actually think I've heard of before somewhere) into the wizard world but I'm glad you have. You seamlessly merge the two and I loved the revelation of who he was at the end there. Also, the way you used unicorn blood and the white stallion together is just an incredible detail. I, a horse fanatic, particularly enjoyed this touch, and am amazed at the sheer amount of detail you fit in here and your other stories.

My favourite line had to be In a war, although numbers are an advantage, it is strategy and psychology that wins a battle because it's true. You wrote the battle really well, and the fear of the raised leader was excellent.

I loved your characters in here, Gaunt was spot on to the extent that we could guess; a true slytherin. My favourite character was Ximena; I adored her. And when she cursed him and his family I had to smile. Basically this is yet another fantastic story by you, and it couldn't have been better. the research and work you put into a story never ceases to amaze me, and I thank you for taking hte time to do so much :).

Author's Response: Thanks ^_^ I do still have trouble on figuring out colons and semi-colons. *lol* I guess I'm also still a bit too comma-happy for my own good.

I absolutely love horse as well *lol* kelpies, unicorns, and thestrals -- are my favourate HP magical creatures.

Thanks so much for this long and in-depth review. Feels good to know that the research is appreciate for these type of fics :)

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Review #8, by Sophia Montgomery El Gaunt Herencia

24th February 2006:
I like how you did great research for your story. The way you have weaved it together makes it so perfect for this character, Gaunt. The dark, dramatic mood was very well written and I liked how the feelings were very visible. The best part of this story has to be how unique it is. The storyline is great, the idea magnificent, and the end results outstanding. Wonderful one shot, the nutty imp! :)

Author's Response: Thanks Sophia. ^_^ I glad to hear that the reasearch paid-off. :)

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