70 Reviews Found

Review #1, by teh tarik The Room of Requirement

6th April 2014:
Hello there, I'm from the review tag. :)

Wow, OK, so this is very different to most things I've read on HPFF. It's from Harry's perspective, which is something I don't come across very often. But I really do enjoy reading about Harry, especially when he's paired up with characters other than Ginny. This was a really good story, exploring both Harry/Cho and Harry/Hermione, which are ships that I rather like. I like Draco's inclusion in the fic as well, and the way you wrote the animosity between him and Harry. There's no resolution to this hostility, which is quite surprising, even though they've pretty much swapped partners by the end of the whole exchange.

I particularly liked the role of the Room of Requirement in this whole affair! I have a feeling that the Room is trying to matchmake the four of them, pair them up with more suitable partners than who they've personally chosen. It's quite funny, actually, the way Hogwarts seems to interfere with their lives. I really liked Hermione's quote about Harry not being ready to leave the Room yet, which is why the door wouldn't open for him earlier.

Ron appearing in the final part of the story was a nice touch; the Trio are together again, and HArry and Hermione have worked out their issues with each other, which is great. And er...Cho and Draco are together! :P Quite a unique ending!

I thought this was a really fun and entertaining piece to read! Great work.

-teh

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Review #2, by Sado The Room of Requirement

14th March 2014:
A very good story, I should say, but you might have made things happen a bit quicker than normal...

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Review #3, by adluvshp The Room of Requirement

4th May 2013:
Here for review tag!

As soon as I saw you had this Harry/Hermione story, I jumped at it. I love the ship xD

I think this was an interesting take on things. Of course it was AU and the characters were quite OOC, but hey it's all acceptable in fanfiction. I liked the whole scenario of the Room of Requirement, and the way it accommodated all the four people's needs. Cho/Draco and Harry/Hermione ended up together and that was cool =) The fic could do with more description and a more substantial plot, but for a one-shot it was good enough. It made for a quick light read and I liked it.

Good job!
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. This was one of my earlier works, so some of the writing makes me cringe. That said, the plot is exactly how I wanted it, so I am still proud of my little one shot. I actually learnt a lot from writing this and I think I have taken people's advice and it has affected the writing of my later stories.

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Review #4, by kenden The Room of Requirement

20th July 2010:
really nice story.. i felt it was a little rushed though? especially on the draco/ cho side of it.. but i liked it either way :)

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Review #5, by Horcruxhuntersdotcom The Room of Requirement

9th December 2007:
At first i read this and i was like: "Whoah! Hermione and Draco?!" the i was like, "No, this is actually a good story."

Well done.

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Review #6, by Kahlan The Room of Requirement

28th October 2007:
For starters, you have a good language. You use words appropriate for the circumstances, and all in all this is a good idea as well - the summary really drew me in, but somewhere along the line.. things get a bit out of hand.

One doesn't just switch feeling like that - it seems forced, unlikely, and without reason. I have nothing against either of these ships, at least not in fanon, it's not that.

I can see Cho's behaviour as possible. She is not portrayed as devious in the books, but she seems to have a certain draw towards able wizards, to say the least. I could see how she would want passion, heat, and all that.

Draco on the other hand, would not be interested to taint himself by shagging a mudblood unless she was something he had decided would be worth losing everything for - In my opinion at least. There are plenty others at Hogwarts, pretty girls many of them, I am sure, that he could rather have used for satisfaction or whatnot. It doesn't seem as if Hermione is a tool to hurt Harry either, which might have been a possibility.

Harry's behaviour is also understandable to a degree. But he really confesses loving his life in the beginning, Cho included, and then he suddenly changes his mind? Hermione is likely as well. Who isn't drawn towards a bad boy? ;) But as stated, their feelings shift too easily..

Hope I'm not being too harsh here, I'm not brutal, just trying to help. The shipping is good, and your language really good! I just find it all a bit unlikely, even for fiction. But, you're really onto something with your idea and choice of characters! ^^

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Review #7, by starry_night89 The Room of Requirement

16th August 2007:
O_O

Confused.

Hah, to say the least. It's not bad, it's just fast, too fast. And Draco is OOC in this chapter. i don't know, the whole thing was a blur, like a movie without sound. I don't quite get it to be honest with you and dont take it personally, I guess it's just not my forte.

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Review #8, by luvdraco87 The Room of Requirement

7th August 2007:
this story is well different, in a good way :)
i have to get used to the pairing, but other than that i loved this chap.
i just wish i could write as good as some of these people i review.

keep up the good work:)

constance

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Review #9, by RainbowSprite The Room of Requirement

5th August 2007:
Interesting. I am not a fan of any of the pairings, but interesting story nonetheless.

Author's Response: Thanks for your review.

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Review #10, by jewelz The Room of Requirement

1st August 2007:
Wow! i dont know how people could be mad at it. I mean both CHO and DRACO are players!
thanks for just putting it out there. =)

Author's Response: I'm hearing what you're saying! :D Thanks so much for taking time to review.

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Review #11, by pigwidgeon385 The Room of Requirement

29th July 2007:
Um... Well first off you should make the title have correct grammar. Secondly, your story needs a beta. There's tons of grammar mistakes. Also - the plot needs work. It's not like I hate the ships, you just wrote them poorly. Every character in this story made random choices without any thought for the consequences, which is very OoC. It just seemed like a total 'snog-fest.' It really lacked emotion... I don't know - I'm really not trying to flame, but to express why I didn't really like this. No hard feeling, hon. :)

Author's Response: I know you're not flaming me, I had one before and it was horrible. This was helpful and constructive criticism, which I need to become a better writter. I appreciate your veiws and will try to correct any mistakes I have made. Thanks for the review ;oD

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Review #12, by PandemoniumLust The Room of Requirement

20th July 2007:
I’m writing review while I’m reading. :D

I’m confused because I didn’t understand when it happens. (6 year? Or it’s like AU?)
I’m not Harry/Hermione or Harry/Cho shipper, actually I don’t read fics about Harry at all, but I tried. (I told it in my thread btw.) Still I don’t like it, so I’m sorry that I can’t say “Woot. I love it.” It’s not your fault, because your writing style is good. And language and grammar too. there aren't only dialogues and sentences aren't simple.
So... Draco is nice. I love that “Well, feel the fire”. I guess I’m too old for simple “I love you, I love you too” fics, that’s why I like mature fics, yours is good in that way. :P Em… I wouldn’t say that it’s too typical, but still it’s very surprising that they get together so fast.
I like Cho and Draco better than Harry and Hermione, because they know what they want. Harry seems to unnatural for me.
Keep writing. Sorry that I wasn’t pleasing.


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Review #13, by geminigirl The Room of Requirement

17th July 2007:
my problem with this story isn't the pairings, anything can work if its written well, my main issue is the way the charecters talk. real teenagers don't say things like, “You shouldn’t be ashamed Hermione, we care very deeply for each other,” there usually alot more reluctant to speak their feelings, and ussually put up a facade. the charecters seemed flat and i think this was because of the dialouge. Try to make the speech seem more natural and show a bit of the inner struggle and uncertanty that would most definitly be there.

i hope i dont sound harsh and that this is helpful
good luck with your writing!!!

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Review #14, by subtle_plan The Room of Requirement

14th July 2007:
I actually liked it :D I think the idea is very interesting, it's what made me read the story in the first place, and even though I'm not a huge fan of the pairings I thought it was a cool twist :D

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Review #15, by Samhria The Room of Requirement

13th July 2007:
Well, you did good. It wasn't bad at all. I enjoyed reading it because I like H/Hr ship stories. You did a good job.

Samhria
*Phoenix_Rose*

Author's Response: Thanks for your review.

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Review #16, by mischiefmanaged The Room of Requirement

6th July 2007:
Yeah, this is a very interesting story. It's very well written as well. =) My only complaint is that you have some spacing and punctuation problems, but that can be fixed easily. Good job, but remember that there should be some sort of punctuation in your dialogue. Here's an example. Instead of:

"Don't bother Cho, its over between us" he replied.
"You used me Draco".

it should be:

"Don't bother Cho, it's over between us," he replied.
"You used me Draco.

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Review #17, by Lassy_Luna The Room of Requirement

4th July 2007:
I've never actually read a fic where the author has been brave enough to ship Draco with Cho and leave it that way, so kudos to you, Twinkle! Oddly enough, I don't have any problem with it at all and I like the way that you got the four characters to the stage it was at the end. And I got a bit of Hermione/Draco, so all was good! I have to admit I'm not fond of Cho as a character but I enjoyed your one shot and you described the RoR very well! Luna

Author's Response: I like that you used the word kudos :) Thanks for your review

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Review #18, by Diandra The Room of Requirement

3rd July 2007:
This was fantastic! I don't even like Hermione/Harry (she belongs with Ron and Harry's too cool for everyone *hates Ginny*) but you pulled it off really well! You've convinced me of Cho/Draco for sure *dislikes both of them*, I think that they would definitely go well together, with their weepiness. So I really liked this story, and the whole idea of it. I love that the room wouldn't let them out. So cute! Great job,

Diandra (from the boards!)

Author's Response: I agree that Hermione belongs with Ron, they are so cute together. I wanted my fic to be different and random, so I decided to use fannon shipping. I'm glad you like Cho/Draco shipping; I never read another fic with them together (except the sequel) and they so deserve each other. Thanks for a really great review, luv Twinkleflower.

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Review #19, by ladyemma The Room of Requirement

15th June 2007:
I'm sorry, I didn't like this. It was way too fast and unbelievable, but here are the two main things that bothered me:

I'll use the last paragraph as an example.

On the other side of the curtain, Harry and Hermione guessed what must have happened. Clothes were thrown across the floor and Cho and Draco lay breathless under a rug by the fire.
“Harry” Cho exclaimed.
“Don’t bother Cho, its over between us” he replied.
“You used me Draco”.
“What’s new, you used me too” he replied.
“I guess we both got what we wanted” Hermione said. Harry was next to speak.
“Cho, I thought we could still be friends and I still care about you. But not if you’re with him” he pointed at Draco disgusted. Hermione threw them their clothes before she and Harry went to leave. The Room of Requirement finally let them go having achieved unity, but also disarray and chaos.

First off, it bothered me how it was all single spaced when talking. I Would do something like this:
On the other side of the curtain, Harry and Hermione guessed what must have happened. Clothes were thrown across the floor and Cho and Draco lay breathless under a rug by the fire.

“Harry” Cho exclaimed.

“Don’t bother Cho, its over between us” he replied.

The other thing that bothered me was that there were no punctuation marks within quotations:

“Don’t bother Cho, its over between us.” he replied.

Is what it should look like.





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Review #20, by Britney The Room of Requirement

5th June 2007:
good try!!

Author's Response: Thanks... I think :)

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Review #21, by LovelyDays The Room of Requirement

31st May 2007:
Hello =)
Okay, well let me first start off by saying that you're writing is good and clear. Your descriptions were also pretty good, but you could have probably spent a little more time on them and went further into detail. Some suggestions are describing the character's facial expressions and actions a bit more. It will make your story seem less rushed. Another suggestion is to make your dialouge a little less bland, and throw some lesser used words in there. Other than that I thought this was a good one shot. Draco seemed a bit out of character to me, but I know how hard it can be to really get into a character's head and figure them out. Good job :]

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. I did this fic all in one go and rushed to get it posted. All your coomments have been very useful and constructive and will take your advice on board when writing my fics.

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Review #22, by griffindor500 The Room of Requirement

31st March 2007:
MY FIFT- SIXTH OH OK SEVENTH BEST STORY!

Author's Response: Thanks... I think :)

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Review #23, by _Emma_ The Room of Requirement

16th March 2007:
Good Story!

10/10

Emma

Author's Response: That is so nice :) Thanks for your review.

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Review #24, by Pixi_Dust The Room of Requirement

9th March 2007:
Hey! Its me! I really enjoyed that it was a really good idea and really original Ive never read anything like that before =) well done love Riz xxx

Author's Response: Thanks Riz, we should eat sugary things, be hyper and talk about how we should do a story called "Harry Potter and the attack of the Zeebs" I'll give you a cookie aswell. Luv ya hunni ;oD

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Review #25, by Kira The Room of Requirement

26th February 2007:
Strange? A bit for me yeah. I liked that it was original. I have not read many Cho Draco fics myself so it was refreshing in that area. I have been bombarded with Harry and Hermione though so I am used to that. It was amusing the way they battled with their feelings...being confused and all about how they felt.

For some reason I can't stand Cho so it was hard to take her seriously for me. I thought you wrote her pretty well though! All my not liking Cho feelings came alive when I read this so that means you portrayed her pretty well.

I found this error that stopped the flow of the story a bit.

have grown very found of Draco (Should be fond I'm assuming.)

Overall it was rather strange for me but I found it oddly amusing for some reason. It's fun to play with characters in different ways.

Nice work.

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