This was very good! I'll review as I read along.
Right, you said she had a fever, but it was 37.5 degrees. 37.5 is normal body temperature! A fever would be at least 38, 39.
The fourth paragraph has two different people speaking in it - in writing you start a new line for each new speech.
This sentence is a bit weird: Yes, they’re married now. It’s been 5 years after Voldemort’s dead and eight months after they got married
You don't want to write 'Yes, they're married now,' because it's completely different to the rest of your tone in the story. Also, you shouldn't have words like 'it's' or 'they're,' it should be 'it is' and 'they are.' Voldemort's dead is not proper english, because taken apart it reads 'five years since voldemort is dead,' which really doesn't make sense at all. It also sounds a little like thedead belongs to voldemort. It should be 'since voldemort died.'
This sentence: it was really famous that it was hard to reserve a table
is deconstructed as it's famous for being hard to reserve a table; that should be 'it was so famous'
'Valentine’s present' is slang, that should be a 'valentine's day present'
'Don’t get it wrong' is informal as well, and completely at odds with the rest of your tone.
'Now he only got like 3 hours to find the perfect gift for Hermione' is really bad as well, sorry! It should be 'Now he only had three hours to find a perfect gift for Hermione.' Never put 'like' in formal writing, that's slang through and through, and with got in there, it doesn't make sense.
“I went to The Burrow and asked Mom to teach me how to cook some of your favourite meals." - why is Harry calling Mrs. Weasley "Mom", and anyway, in Britian it's Mum.
“Ron, you remember!” she kissed him again. - that should be 'remembered' - I've noticed you mix up your tenses a fair bit, like in 'baby-sit' which comes after, and which should be 'baby-sat'
“I know, but—” “Just enjoy it,” - should be two different lines.
“Do you like it? It belonged to Mom and Dad. Mom told me Dad gave it to her..." - once again, should be 'mum'
I realise that this is a year on, and you've obviously improved since you posted this, but I encourage you to read through it and re-write it. Otherwise, it's very cute!Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I'm definitely going to go back and edit this. Thank you for taking the time to point out all of this! I really appreciate it. ^_^ Report Review
That was a really sweet story & I particularly loved Ron lol. I can just imagine him forgetting things like that & then rushing to put it right lol.
Nice fluffy little one shot!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I’m really glad you like it. ^_^ Report Review
AW what a sweet story! I love that song by Martina McBride. I really like this idea, of showing a Valentine's Day with each couple celebrating it in their own special way, despite Ginny being sick and Ron completely forgetting. Love this. Wonderful story!Author's Response: Thanks so much! I’m really glad you like it. I love that song too, my friends and I always sing it on every Valentine’s Day. =P Thanks again for your wonderful reviews, Girldetective85! Report Review
First of all, I am very sorry for taking so long to visit your author's page! Secondly, this is a nice Valentine's fic. I especially loved the way you made Harry be romantic without twisting his into a huge knot. Ron was typically Ron when he forgot the date, just how I imagine him to be as a husband. Good job! The only thing I can critique is this line (48th/49th down from the first line):
"He regretted it as much as Ginny did, but he didn’t show it because he didn’t want Ginny to feel like she made him disappointed."
I think you can take out the 'made' so it's: "He regretted it as much as Ginny did, but he didn’t show it because he didn’t want Ginny to feel like she disappointed him."
:)Author's Response: Hi! Lol, it’s okay. And I’m really glad you like this story. You’re right, that does feel a bit off. I’ll fix it right away. Thanks, Jade! Report Review
Priss, this was truly wonderful. I saw the review you posted from someone else on SAYS, and I was so angry that I had to come over and read this story, because I knew I would prove said person wrong. Forget everything they said - this story was so sweet. It has a real feel good factor, you know? Stories don't have to be so original that they are obscure or ridiculously angsty to be good,if they are well written, like this one, the can also be perfect! Excellent Job! Author's Response: Aww, thank you! It’s nice to know you don’t agree with that review. You’re right, it doesn’t have to be absolutely original to be good, it just have to be written well. Thanks again, Andy! *hugs* Report Review
What the hell is up with the new site thing? Why is harry lerry, and everyones names, why are they all so effed up? It's really starting to piss me off, and if you know, can you please tell me?Author's Response: Wow, relax. It’s just a April Fool’s joke, nothing to get worked up about. :) Report Review
This story was very cute! Gives the Heart a warm touch to it!Author's Response: That’s what I was aiming for. Thank you! =) Report Review
Aw! That was so sweet! This was a really good fanfic!Author's Response: Thank you! Glad to know you like it. =D Report Review
Fluffy, just how I like it. :)Author's Response: Thanks! Fluffy is always nice, isn’t it? Report Review
The story in itself is not a very original idea, but I think this is the first time I've read a story of this nature where one of the stumbling blocks was illness. Harry, in my opinion, was the epitome of the loving husband, in many ways, more so than Ron, where he gives it his all to make the Valentine's day a celebration, despite the fact that Ginny was in bed, going over to the Burrow to get Mrs. Weasley to teach him all of Ginny's favorite dishes, etc. The image of Harry wearing a pink apron was so funny and cute.
The essence of a good review is to present the good and the bad, right? So, with that in mind, I want to mention why I enjoyed Ron and Hermione's valentine less: First, and most notably, to have Ron forget something that is so important to Hermione is probably THE biggest cliche amoung HP fanfic writers. This led to many other things that are cliches of Ron's character: Working so hard to make things right, having to have one of his family (and therein is another cliche: Harry is all too frequently the one who tells him what it was he missed) show him the event he forgot, and so fourth.
But after all that, this was a terrific story. Author's Response: Wow, thank you! This was written just for a fluffy fun for myself, so the idea isn’t so original. It was originally planned for H/G only, but I couldn’t stop myself for doing R/Hr. =P So the latter’s part might seem a little rushed and cliché. Thank you for writing a detailed and nice review. I haven’t got a long, nice one for this story in a while, so I was excited to see this. Report Review
Aww...I loved it. Its so sweet. Hermione and Ron are meant to be together!Author's Response: I know! They just need a little knock upside the head to realize it. =P Thanks for the review! Report Review
\BRILLENT!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
oh wow, cool storyAuthor's Response: Thanks! Report Review
Aw... really nice, I liked it a lot.Author's Response: That’s good to know. ^_^ Thank you! Report Review
So romantic!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
nice story!Author's Response: Thanks! Report Review
hi! so pretty and funny our fic! and i even read all the chapter, that is veery big. congratulations girl, it´s like we imagine how the future of the both couples will be, if J.K.R won´t kill harry on 7th book.
^.^Author's Response: Thank you very much! I’m really glad you like it. Lol, let’s just hope Jo doesn’t kill him. =D Report Review
aw so sweet!!! I used to love that song!!! lolAuthor's Response: Thank you! I love both of the songs, and I’m glad you like the story. ^_^ Report Review
Very sweet. Maybe a little...TOO sweet. Kind of...sappy. But then, maybe that's not quite true...I just have no tolerance for sappy right now. I would have loved it if I was slap-happy.Author's Response: That’s too bad. But sappy was what I was in mood for. Maybe you can try reading it when you’re happier. Report Review
wow tht woz really gr8!
love the storyAuthor's Response: Thank you! Report Review
i love this i hope u write moreAuthor's Response: Glad you like it! ^_^ I’ve got a lot of WIPs going right now, you can check them out if you like. Report Review
Luv it one of da best write more storiesAuthor's Response: Really? Thank you. I have more stories, you know. You can read them if you want to. ^_^ Report Review
awww and with the cuteness and the candi and the loveliness awAuthor's Response: Lol, thanks! Report Review
Nice Love Story!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
this was a totally awesome story.how did u come up wit it?i loved itAuthor's Response: Thank you! I always love Valentine’s Day for some reason, and since my birthday was only a week away, I thought I’d write something fluffy about these couples just for fun. And ‘My Valentine’ is my one of my favourite love songs. It turned out good enough to be posted, so I did. =D Report Review
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