Reading Reviews for The Daemon
  
40 Reviews Found

Review #1, by XharrysdarlingX The demon / 2

24th May 2008:
I loved it! It was a great story with a great OC, they usually annoy me, but Jezabel didn't. She was well thought out and well rounded out, she fitted in with the others very well.

I loved Snape in this chapter, he was great. His coldness, his detached acceptance (at least on the surface) was really well put. His conversation with Jezabel was my fave part.

It was so sad, but sweet at the same time that she went to Azkaban for Sirius, I wondered how you planned on finishing this as ur work doesn't usually have the "happily ever after" factor lol. It was a great ending to a fantastic story!!

Obviously there were some mistakes, but it just shows how much you've now grown as an author when you look at Tainted.

Loved every bit of it!! 10/10

Author's Response: Hi,
yes, I wanted to show how Snape becomes the strong and fearless person we know.
I loved Jezebel as well, though now I think I could use those possibilities, her character offered, a lot better.
I could have made her more passionate and colourful, and at the same time I should have shown her weaknesses better, as well.
And, I guess, I gave little explanation of her powers and how they work from her point of view.
But I'm very glad that you liked the story, and when you said that "it shows how much you've grown as an author" - I... I was absolutely... wow! Thank you! What can I say? That means everything to me! Thanks a lot, wings


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Review #2, by XharrysdarlingX the demon / 1

24th May 2008:
I loved how u had Jezabel attempting to retreat into her mind as she of course that is the source of her power. It was a truely horrific & Voldemort thing to do & I think it fitted well with him, especially seeming as Death Eaters & myself were expecting some sort of cursing. It was a good twist.

I was worrying about Snape all through that chapter, wondering why he didnt do anything, & his blank expression and sort of dismissiveness as to what was going on was really well put. I feel Snape hides a lot of things a lot of the time.

But Snape to the rescue!! Yay lol.

Author's Response: Hi there!
Oh, yes. Snape always hides a lot of things! That's why I'm so addicted to that man.
He managed to mislead everybody in his surroundings, from Jezebel to Voldemort.
Jezebel, though she could read minds with ease, had no exact idea about Snape's inner thoughts.
Perhaps she was who made his such a good Occlumens and Legilimens. :)
I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for your reviews! wings


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Review #3, by XharrysdarlingX the ball

24th May 2008:
the gifts to Voldemort were a good idea, a little token of everyone's lives the Death Eaters have destroyed. I can imagine him being really pleased with those.

Snape is going to betray the one he loves, is that Jezabel or is it actually going to be Lily? Can't wait to find out!

Author's Response: Hi here again, dear!
Snape betrayed Jezebel, just like he had betrayed Lily in the original story.
Of course in the end he saved her; he couldn't stand seeing her being tortured to death. :)


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Review #4, by XharrysdarlingX the runaway

9th May 2008:
Did Snape attack Bella to set Jezabel free? I'm slightly confused as to how she ended up back with Sirius. So glad she did though, but I feel a bit sorry for Snape cos he likes her too.

Loved the emotions of both Jezabel and Sirius in this chapter, you didn't run into fluffiness but kept them in tune with the darkness of the story, that's hard to do!! Good job on that.

Author's Response: Hi again :)

No, Snape did not attack her, (yet).
It was Sirius who found her first and pulled her into a small alley-way to stay away from Snape and Bella. These two didn't notice Jezebel and Sirius hiding just right next to them.
Yes, Snape's feelings are true towards the girl, but he's unable to trust her anymore. He knows about Sirius and it hurts him a lot.

This was my very first story and now I see how many mistakes (not just grammatical) there are. But this was the story, through the mistakes of which I learned how to write, and thanks to it I was able to write Tainted and Vanilla and Pepper.
Those two are a lot better, in my view, yet I'm very grateful to The Daemon for taking me there.
Thank you very much! You have made my day! Love, wings


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Review #5, by XharrysdarlingX when future forecasts itís shadow

9th May 2008:
Ha good old dumbledore! I love how he's always a step ahead of everyone, but you had me worried there for a minute & I thought she had really attacked him.

Things are starting to get even more interesting now that Jezabel has revealed some of the future & Sirius is having a nice little battle with himself lol.

Great as always! 10/10

Author's Response: Hihihi
Yes, good-old Dumbedore! She tried to attack him, but she had no chance against him.
Anmd poor Sirius, he's deeply in love, though he hates to admit it.
I think he's the kind to always fall for the wrong kind of girls. LOL
Thank you, wings


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Review #6, by XharrysdarlingX the dog, the wolf, the rat and the girl

9th May 2008:
Remus was just so Remus!! His embaressment made me giggle and I liked the way you showed the difference in 2 best friends where Remus asks, Sirius would tell. I always thought these 2 were so opposite that they fit really well together, sort of balancing each other out, and I saw this throughout the chapter in the way you delved into both their thoughts. It really showed the differences in personality.

So glad I've managed to come back to this story! I wonder if ur planning to continue with your Behind the Veil fic?

Author's Response: Hello, sorry for keeping you waiting for so long with my reply, but I had hard times recently.
I love these two friends as well, Remus and Sirius are fitting so perfectly together. One of my fav ships are, to be true, the Sirius/Remus slash fics by Forsakenphoenix. They are just perfect, and though I never knew I liked slash, those stories just moved me to the very core.
So, I'm glad that I could show their complex characters in the way I imagine them to be.

Well, as for Behind the Veil, yes, I'm planning to complete that as well, but there was so little interest in the story that I decided to go on with Tainted and as soon as that is over I will come back to this story.
It will be in the summer, I think. My exams before my degree will be over in a month, so soon I'll be free as a bird, devoting all my free-time to this site. :D Thanks a lot Harry's Darling, wings


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Review #7, by XharrysdarlingX painted black

5th April 2008:
I wondered when Sirius would turn up, and what a very unexpected twist that he has some deeper magical ability as well. It was interesting that this ran in the family & the reason behind Bella being unable to use it was very fitting with her character.

The relationship between Jezabel and Bella is great, a nice little touch of humour in amongst everything else. Bella must be fuming that she can't do anything to Jezabel lol.

I'm so annoyed that I have to leave without reading any more! I'll be itching to get back and try to finish this story! Can't wait to get back on here and read more!! 10/10

Author's Response: Hi Harry's Darling!
Thank you so much! By the time you get back a crispy-new chappie of Tainted will be waiting for you!
See you then! wings


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Review #8, by XharrysdarlingX Jezebel

5th April 2008:
Being someone who's fascinated by ancient Egypt and such like this story just became enjoyable on a whole other level!!

I was wrong earlier then, she does have magical powers that could control Snape.

As usual your explantion was clear and easily unstood. I'm loving this story so far!!

Author's Response: Glad to hear that you are also fascinated by ancient Egypt. I'm a total addict myself. LOL
That's why I spiced up the HP world with a hint of magical Egypt.
I'm incredibly glad that you find this story interesting. Hurray!
There was a time when I was truly considering deleting it from the archive, because of no interest to it.
Thanks so much! wings


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Review #9, by XharrysdarlingX the Master's visit

5th April 2008:
There was wonderful tension throughout this chapter, I was really worried that Voldie was going to find Snape, but I'm so glad that he didnt!

Jezabel is a good name for her, she's already betrayed Voldie once with Snape. Who else is she going to betray, hope it's not Snape!!!

Wonderful imagery as usual I especially liked the bit about time slowing down and turning to water.

Totally hooked already!!! 10/10

Author's Response: OMG! Thanks so much!
Jezebel is a fatal name; it casts the shadow of the once so gorgeous and ruthless queen Jezebel, who was killed for her awful sins.
She will betray everyone, but most of all her own self. That's why in the end she will make great sacrifice for Sirius, the man she loved. (No, she won't die though.)
She has to learn to get rid of Voldie's shadow. Thanks so much!
wings


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Review #10, by XharrysdarlingX Snape's choice

5th April 2008:
Oh poor Snape!!! This was a truly inspirational way of showing how lonely and isolated from other people Snape has been throughout his early life and life at Hogwarts. (From what I gather in the books etc he doesn't have a friend other than Lily, the way James and Sirius have each other.)

He wouldn't immedately realise that it was pure attraction he was feeling, that was being given to him and he would be mistrusting giving the life he has been leading, & I liked how even at the end of the chapter he still wasn't sure what was drawing him to this woman, she had to tell him.

Having Snape getting on the devensive with her was good, and I really liked the bit about how he doesn't lose control, very Snape I thought!

Now I want to know who she is & why she was nearly dying?
Great job as usual.

Author's Response: Wow! Thanks! I tried to show the human side of Snape. He was about 20-21 at that time. His character was still shaping with all the tragic things ahead.
I wanted to show his hesitation and also his strong, dark side.
I'm sooo glad you enjoyed it! wings


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Review #11, by XharrysdarlingX the black mansion

5th April 2008:
Finally I've got the chance to sit and start to read this story! I told you I would lol. I have to say, you really are the queen of light and fluffiness aren't you? I expected a deer to come along and eat from Snape's hand at one point. lol.

Anyway, lol. I loved it! A fantastic beginning that really drew me in. I thought you did a great job delving into Snape's mind, and captured the grim side of his nature very well. I especially liked the bits about his fears. I happen to think that was exactly what poor young Snape feared the most and the reason he went off on a mad search for power.

I really liked the whole concept of darkness in this first chapter, how you effortlessly combined the darkness of the story, the darkness of the mansion and the darkness of Snape himself.

I'm really interested in the fact that this hell daemon looks like Sirius, perhaps because he and James made Snape miserable at school? Just a wild guess.

You kept Snape true to himself until the very end, even his hatered of Sirius- "Snape truly wished that Sirius would see him when his time came to leave." That to me was classic Snape!!

Loved it! On to the next chapter. 10/10

Author's Response: LOL! LOL! LOL!
Queen of light and fluffiness! OMG! LOL!
OMG!
I could hardly stop my fits of laughter! My neighbours will think I'm totally crazy! Thank you, I can't remember having such a good laugh for a time!

The Daemon was an early work of mine, when I had less language practice, so there might be some oddities in the structure of my text.
I had also less practice in building up a plot and pehaps in expressing things clearly.
It was a character driven story and this character was Jezebel, Snape and Sirius.
I found this triangle very exciting. What I miss from that story is Jezebel's development. She became a little static. What I managed well is Snape's character development. He became the real hero of the story. Amazing character he is; he makes his writers redo the whole story for him. LOL.
I'm glad you liked it!
Thanks, wings!


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Review #12, by Snapegirl The demon / 2

15th December 2007:
That was quite a sad story, i wish it could have ended better for Jezebel and for Severus and Sirius as well. But this was a well done and interesting story.

Author's Response: Thanks, wings

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Review #13, by Snapegirl the demon / 1

15th December 2007:
Ugh that was a truly scary chapter, watching poor Jezebel get almost burnt to death! I'm very glad Sev saved her though.

Author's Response: Yes, that was a very exciting chapter to write, to see the physical a psychological effects of pain, I have learnt a lot from it.

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Review #14, by Snapegirl the ball

15th December 2007:
I can't wait to see what happens next. As for the dialogue, it should remain in normal type unless you want to emphaze a particular word or phrase, in whichc ase you could use italics. or for something you REALLY want to emphasize, use bold, but don't put the whole dialogue in bold unless the people are communicating in a different fashion than speaking--such as using telepathy or something like that. Hope this helps you!

Author's Response: Yes, thanks that helped a lot!

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Review #15, by Snapegirl the runaway

15th December 2007:
Well, that was interesting, but one thing confused me. Why does Bellatrix refer to Snape as her cousin? I never though they were related at all.

Author's Response: As far as I know they really were related. It seems to me JKR mentioned it in the HBP. Well, all purebloods were relatives to some extent.

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Review #16, by Snapegirl when future forecasts itís shadow

15th December 2007:
I think Jezebel has met her match in Dumbledore...or has she? certainly her prediction seemed to have thrown him a bit. But this was before he heard Trelawney's prophecy, right? Because otherwise, Severus would have been a double agent and it doesn't seem that way right now.

Author's Response: No, it's a bit AU, Sev was no double agent. I replaced Trelawney with Jez. :)

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Review #17, by Snapegirl the dog, the wolf, the rat and the girl

15th December 2007:
Uh, oh, that was very sneaky. And kind of stupid on Jezebel's part, to drink something she didn't know. Shouldn't she have been more wary? As a former servent of darkness, she should've known better.

Anyhow, great job so far.

Author's Response: Thanks. Jezebel had no other choice really.

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Review #18, by Snapegirl painted black

15th December 2007:
I have a question, this takes place before the fall of Voldemort for the first time, right? But if that's so and Sirius is one of these super powered magicians, why did he spend so long in Azkaban, locked up? Couldn't he have used his powers to escape?

Otherwise this is becoming very very intriguing.

Author's Response: Yes, it's before Voldy's fall, but Sirius is not a super powered wizard, he's just the same old Sirius. He simply had some abilities he had no idea of before, he could manipulate weaker people. But if he didn't know about it, how could he use it? Jezebel needed long years for that. Thanks for the remark.

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Review #19, by Snapegirl Jezebel

15th December 2007:
Yes, i had known that about her name, but thanks for the refresher course. I like how you give her ties to what i think may be ancient Egypt, since I'm fascinated with that time period and people, they were the first magicians, i think. Or at least the first who were willingly open about the practice of magic. Like the Book of the Dead, ect. . .

Anyhow, I like the way you're developing this.

Author's Response: Thanks, ancient Egypt is my obsession, too. :)

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Review #20, by Snapegirl the Master's visit

15th December 2007:
This just gets stranger and stranger. Jezebel, I like her name, must be a powerful magician if she can command Voldemort even a little, or make him fear her slightly. I wonder why he tolerates her disrespect? perhaps because he needs her?

Author's Response: Yes, exactly, he needs her and he's also too arrogant to admit what danger she means. Thanks

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Review #21, by Snapegirl Snape's choice

15th December 2007:
Now you've got me wondering who or what this woman is. or is she a woman at all? Maybe she's a minor demon, like a succubus of legend? I will read more to find out.

Author's Response: I hope you have already found out. Thanks. :)

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Review #22, by Snapegirl the black mansion

15th December 2007:
Well, i have to say this is different from any other Snape story I've read so far. It's a little darker and grimmer than I see Sev, but to each her own. And I noticed that you said you make banners, would you be willing to make one for me? I have a new novel posted and really would like one for it, so let me know. You can reply to me when you review one of my chapters.

Author's Response: Hi, I'm a bit (OMG - very much) overwhelmed by my exams. As soon as I will have some time, I will let you know, okay? :) Thanks

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Review #23, by Shadow Danzer The demon / 2

4th September 2007:
whoa that was really sad.i love it :D is there another story about her? good character i found some of it hard to follow and a bit messed up but i still love it

Author's Response: Thanks a lot Shadow Danzer! Well, yes I see I have messed some parts of the story up, you're right. That was my first story and while I had good ideas, I lacked experience in writing. But I hope my next stories are easier to follow. I haven't written new stories about her, but she is one of my favourite characters. Thanks a lot for your review! wings

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Review #24, by XxCupidsChokeHoldxX the demon / 1

15th July 2007:
wow, this story is amazing. can't wait for the next one!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. The end of the story is coming up in a few days. It's finished at last.

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Review #25, by crookshanks and padfoot Snape's choice

28th August 2006:
yet another fascinating chappie! all of your images are very vivid.
in addition to my last review, I actually have some ideas for my banner, of which I would most appreciate you designing one for my story! like I said, I'm not too picky, but it'd be cool if it was kind of whimsical, and had Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, and Audrey on it (with the title, but that's obvious, sorry) um, if you need more details let me know, I've never done the whole "banner-thing" before...I have some ideas for how the characters should look (certain actors, I mean) and I can tell you them if you want...if not, do what you want, you'll make it good however you do it. looking forward to the next update on this story!

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