Oh man this chapter was craazy!! Remus gay? i would of expected that from Peter lol but yeah i loved the ending =0) Want something you can't have, genius =D Report Review
COOL. i liked it a lot. awesome work! Report Review
I love these, you're doing a great job on them and I hope that at some point you'll find the time and inspiration to write another :)
Lily and Sirius... them together like this was just incredible. I never would have pictured this and it came out amazing. It was almost like I could feel what Lily was feeling and was inside her mind. Great job, I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this, even in my veryy tired state of mind right now, I'm looking forward to the next one. Report Review
I love it. Remus is such an animal. few people show this side to him and i think that you did a remarkable job. although i cant really see remus as being gay, you pulled it off very well. very emotional and raw. excellent Report Review
Again, that was amazing. Sirius/Lily is one of my favourite ships and I've definitely heard that you write that ship amazingly and I'm not disapointed.
I think the way that you get into the emotions, and the description, involving the reader is amazing, I love it so much really, it's amazing! Great writting, I love the concept. Again, 10/10 and wow.Author's Response: Thanks for so much for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
Wow. That was seriously amazing. I was recommended to read this story by a friend and I'm so glad I did. That was unlike anything I've read here before, there are just no words. The way you got into all of the cahracters was amazing, it felt like it was a novella and you'd learned and learned about the characters for ages before.
The descripton of eveything was vivid, and so indepth, of every little thing. That was so amazing I don't even know what to say. Just Thanks, wow. 10/10Author's Response: Thanks for so much for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
Oh this was so good! I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed your writing; actually I was looking through your stuff and I realized that I had read several pieces and reviewed them but I can't remember what they were about. So...I'm re-reading and reviewing where I failed to.
You really have a way with words and I like how you characterize Sirius as being intuitive rather than simply an idiot. I can't wait for the next chapter! Lovely job! 10/10Author's Response: Thanks for so much for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
Oy. Loved the twist at the end. Not to mention the mentions of Remus/James Report Review
that is one powerful story.
it might be how late it is right now, and the fact i'm studying ww2 at the mo might be contribution too, but this made me cry.
i'v never been moved or touched by ANY work of fiction quite like that.
i mean for real, tears, rolling down my cheeks as i finished reading that. you've captured something amazing here, the reality of how people feel when confronted with horrible situations like this.
This moved me the same way i'm moved when reading the testimonies of holocaust survivors, and they talk about what human beings will do just to live for another second.
I thought your last chapter was powerful, but wow, it was nothing compared
to that. major WELL DONE!
now i must go find a hanky.
ColumbaAuthor's Response: Thanks for so much for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
omg, once again, you totaly amaze me!!! i just totaly love your style!!!Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
omg! You are amazing! But you probably hear that all the time! Thank you for this. I needed something this good!Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
This was a very heartbreaking chapter, timeturner, very different in manner from the previous of this collection, yet still filled with the idea of temptation. Just goes to show one the varying facades that temptation can appear with. Somehow you make Lily and Sirius seem so natural together - that they were meant for each other. It's so perfect that I can't even think of anything good to say. =D So I'll make stuff up off the top of my head. ;-) It's definitely the little details that make this story work so well. The little hole in his shirt, the smells and atmosphere of the hospital tent (it's so English Patient that it's funny - you meant to do that, right?) - all the feelings and emotions of the characters stacked on top of the descriptions of smells, touches, sounds makes this a rich story to read. It's short but has a lot to it - I don't want to say concise, but that comes to mind easiest - what I mean is that you don't waste words, but still create a setting and characters that come alive - they're real. It's a fantastic piece - definitely your most convincing and best written Sirius/Lily piece (and I thought that Noel and Reckless couldn't be beat!). =)Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
wow! that was amazing. so well written, very discriptive and emotional.
i love sirius/lilyAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review!! Report Review
wow...great...better than the first and that is sayin a lot!! I loved it, especially sing I am a huge Lily/Sirius shiper. That was just a great story, quite powerful and so easy to imagine with your great descirptions...I mean it when i say you are one of the greatest authors ive ever read from.
10/10Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
my god, you are a genius, my new hero in everything related to writting, you outdo even Jo Rowling...that was so vividly discribied..so...vivid..so lifely...my god it was shocking and powerful and great and I LOVED IT. you serious should try getting a book of your own published, you would for sure suceed. This was great..CJ recomended you to me, and im glad she did...this story, and you as an author, are going in my favourites.
the way you descirbe the characters...Remus..Sirius..Narcissa...its just great..the way you keep them just in character...oh my god...
Great great job..on to the next one!!
10/10Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Sirius/Lily was really what I came to look for at first from your stories, and I was not disappointed! :) I thought that it would be more interesting than James/Lily, and it seems that it is. The only thing I'm wondering about in this fic is how the situation with James is, as it seems like it is that far in time when they would be together/married, but that really has nothing to do with this fic come to think of it.
You say that Remus is hard to write (I read your response to my review, thanks for that), but I think Lily is really hard. So I'm very happy to find someone who can write her without it being one big cliche. I think she still sounds like Lily though she is a bit different from how she is usually described. And not to mention Sirius; he is just right!
I have to say that I really love your descriptions. You don't forget about any of the sences. I read your writing exercise on the forums, and you seem to write as you teach.
Then to the best part! It was so beautiful in the ending when you described the whole breathing thing. I loved it how the breath symbolised so much for Lily and how Sirius helped her to get over the hardest part!
-Annina Author's Response: Thanks so much for the great reviews you've left. They are amazing helpful and insightful. I appreciate that so much! I have always written Lily a bit different than everyone else (people seem to portray as Hermione-like) and, honestly, I've taken a lot of heat for that over the years. It's nice to hear that someone likes her! Odd that you should mention about James...this chapter is actually a two-parter with another author,Noblevyne. She is a die-hard James/Lily shipper but because she's such a great friend agreed to do a combination of Sirius/Lily and James. When she will get her half posted I can only guess but the intention is that just after the end of mine story, James appears from fighting the battle to take a rest in the medical tent. No telling where she'll take the idea from there :D Again, thanks for the wonderful review! I tend to be late in responding but I do eventually respond, I promise! Report Review
Awww...Author's Response: *huggles* Report Review
I had to come and check out one of your stories as I have seen so much praise of them around the forums. I'm glad I did! I will be back to read more.
As to this story. Let's start with the title. It was that which caught me first to read this one of your stories. "Temptation" is such an intriguing word. Whisper it and it sounds beautiful (like "enchantment" too). It also combines something beautiful and something forbidden.
This chapter is really intense and I like your writing style! There were a couple of small typos in the first half of the story, so I have forgotten them already, but I hope you don't mind if I point out a error. Just that in this bit it changes from past to present: "The way she tossed her hair to catch some unsuspecting boy’s attention; the slight furrow in her brows when she’s studying; the soft tinge of pink that colors her ears when she’s angered."
I didn't see Remus' realisation coming at all, but it was really brilliantly done, how he realised who it was in reality who tempted him. I also liked that you didn't tell at once who the girl was, so I kept wondering who of the Black sisters it was until the name was mentioned. I think you pulled off both pairings very well! Narcissa/Remus is a very interesting idea and I like it because it gives place to a lot of tension. The ending was also surprising for me because I would have imagined Remus talking himself out of it and not leaving that abruptly and in an almost mean way. But we all have those emotional and mean moments.
Though Remus seems a little different here from most stories I have read, he still stays in character. I had maybe not imagined him quite like this at school age, but that he would have developed into a more forsible person when he became an adult. I can see in this story something off all the essential characteristics I imagine him having though. He is caring, has a (little dry) sense of humor, has this strong personality (or how to explain it) and still has a bit of shyness.
I liked this a lot!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much. It's rare I get lengthy reviews like this anymore and I sooo adore it. I don't mind you pointing out typos or errors at all...that's the only way I learn. I have trouble with Remus and that's why I tried to tackle him with this one shot without committing to something longer. He is one tough character. Again, thank you so much for the kind review and suggestions for improvement, I truly appreciate it! Report Review
Okay, this is gorgeous, and you know I think that because I've told you. But honestly, it's stunning.
It's really different than what we normally see from you, because usually you write with more passion in the atmosphere and more of a rush. But I think that the melancholy and lethargy that hung in the air was absolutely perfect for this story and situation, and I think you pulled it off beautifully.
As usual, your descriptions are on-spot. I think one of the things you do amazingly is not neglecting the other senses; often we use sight as the only means to convey the situation but you used every sense in order to put the reader in that medical tent with them. I could almost feel the exhaustion and the atmosphere just pouring through the computer screen.
The contrast between Lily and Sirius was really well done earlier in the chapter where they were talking about this being his escape, versus her being able to leave. Your dialogue fits perfectly. This is just an example of how you've really milked a mundane event for all it's worth.
Really, though. I absolutely loved reading this story. You have built up the tension so well and it was just this perfect wave of building up and release. I know I’ve told you this, but the combination of description, dialogue, and just the pervasive attitude that seems to seep through into your writing and out of the computer just makes for a perfect atmosphere and tone. You should really be proud of this. It’s very different, but it’s still outstanding.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!! Report Review
Wow. Powerful. Wonderful. I was confused towards the end, I was like: "Where's the slash??" And then I read the last part. Wonderful. Narcissa/Remus is pretty good from this, but Sirius/Remus is always a wonderful ship. ;]Author's Response: Thanks for the review!! Report Review
brutal, but brilliant.
I'm out of other words to describe this masterpiece. absotutely amazing. It stands on its own perfectly. I've yet to read something of yours that isn't breathtaking. You really have true talent. congratulations on this.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
This was really interesting. I had to read it pretty closely. Nice job!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
Love the ending!! So good! Going on my faves!!!Author's Response: Thank you!! Report Review
Wow, that was really...powerful. I can't think of another word.
Ooh, got one. Excellent. 10/10Author's Response: Thank you!! Report Review
that was good, a nice twist at the end, a really good twist, i was not expecting that at all.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the kind review! Report Review
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