Reading Reviews for Obscure Loyalties
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Empty_But_Content Obscure Loyalties

30th July 2006:
*GASP*?! duuuuuuude one shots suck. they make me want to reaaaaad more. then there is no more. then I am sad. I hate you. *runs away*
*GLOMPS OF DOOM* baaaiiiii

Author's Response: Um... thanks? I think??? *looks confused*

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Review #2, by Anna_Black Obscure Loyalties

21st June 2006:
Oh, I loved it! You gave the reason of Regulus' death and for Severus becoming a spy. It was based on emotions and forbidden love and that's why I liked it. To tell you the truth I am not much in favor of slash stories, but I liked this one. Who knows, maybe I'll open my mind a bit about slash :P. Anna

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I hope you do try a few more slash stories - I think a lot of people get turned off by the physical aspect, because they can't imagine themselves in that position, but I always focus on the emotional aspect because not only is it more important, but I really want to show that whether a relationship is between two men, a man and a woman, or two women, there's really no difference. They're all experienceing the same emotion - love. And that's really all that should matter. =)

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Review #3, by JuicyJuice Obscure Loyalties

15th June 2006:
You have so many great things going on--emotions, motives, characterizations--and I feel like they all get just a little cheated by the length and style of the piece. I craved some dialogue and interaction, and just some general fleshing out of what is obviously a very tragic, emotional story (with a very nice ending, by the way). You're clearly a very capable writer (it flowed very well and was well paced even though it was short) and I, as a reader, just wanted to feel more, and understand more, and be able to draw my own conclusions. I guess what I'm trying to say is: Show, don't tell.
But nice job on the story anyway, I loved the strange pairing!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the helpful review! It's funny - some people absolutely loved the absence of dialogue here, while others hated it. I doubt I'll go back and revise this fic, as it's so old, but I have been planning for a while to write a chaptered story on this ship (it's my absolute favorite), as soon as I finish my current chaptered project. So I guess I'll end up with both versions, hopefully. =)

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Review #4, by hermione006 Obscure Loyalties

20th April 2006:
I must admit I have never read a Regulus/Severus story before but this was wonderfully written. Not using their actual names added interest to the story and made it even better. The end was very unexpected but still interesting. The beginning pharagraphs really brought you into the feeling and mood of the story. I love how you wrote this for Lucid's challene because it truly was forbidden love. -Hermione006

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you thought this fit the challenge well, and liked the style I chose for this fic.

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Review #5, by forsakenphoenix Obscure Loyalties

5th March 2006:
My first Regulus/Snape! Thankfully it was one of your stories so I knew I wouldn't be disappointed. I see a lot of potential in this particular 'ship and I am really glad that you wrote it for Lucid's Forbidden Love challenge; it fits perfectly. My absolute favorite part of this was the fact that you did not use their names. You referred to them as the little king and the prince, giving the story an air of royalty that underlies the main focus of the story, their love. The fact that both are Slytherins (Slytherins lived primarily for themselves) and both serve Lord Voldemort, this pairing is definitely a forbidden love. You write that forbidden nature very well with simple phrases that can be overlooked--mentioning how they do not see each other often, the fact that both grew up with those rules, almost, of who they could love, etc. I liked how you mentioned the fact that he acted much like Sirius in his last act of rebellion: rash and without thought. It reveals a lot about Regulus' character. I never really thought about what made Severus decide to become a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. You give his turning a very reasonable reason to do so. He's wanted to overturn Voldemort for a while (secretly hoping that Regulus would join him in doing so) and the fact that Voldemort killed Regulus in front of his eyes just gave him the motivation to turn to Dumbledore. I also enjoyed the fact that there was no dialogue. For some reason, I think the dialogue would've interrupted the flow of the narrative and also, the forbidden nature of the relationship. Very nicely done. I loved it. If you write more Regulus/Snape, let me know, I'd love to read it. I think it would be interesting to see a story where Severus turned to Dumbledore as a sort of redemption. After following Voldemort's orders for a while and then watching his lover die without saying a word, he feels he must become a spy in order to absolve himself of his sins. But ah, maybe that's just me. ;)

Author's Response: Lol, the whole reason I wrote this was because I absolutely could not find any stories of that pairing on the archive, or coerce anyone into writing one on the forums... And I love this ship. I'm so glad that you do, too. I especially appreciate your comments about the lack of dialogue - another reviewer wanted me to include some, but I agree that it would spoil the flow and sort of otherworldly quality of this story. I'm also you picked up on all the little hints of "forbiddenness" - I was worried that it didn't quite come across well enough. Anyway, thanks so much for the amazing review, and I'm sorry it took me so long to respond - I must admit I was a bit speechless at first. I'll be sure to let you know if I write any more Regulus/Snape stories, although it might not be awhile - there are so many other characters that intrigue me. Your idea sounds lovely, though - you should write it! =)

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Review #6, by Rebekka (can't sign in) Obscure Loyalties

17th February 2006:
You make me want to hug you. :) It's perfect. I have never ever in my wildest dreams even thought about this ship. Never. And it's just so perfect for your story or because of your story. I can't tell. I loved everything about this story, especially the descriptive writing style and the way you used prince and king instead of their names. It works. I was afraid that it might not work, since it's rather melodramatic and over-used, but you... dear, you know how to make things happen. You know how to spell magic and how to add it in every wonderful passing moment. I absolutely loved the ending... I love it when people make us believe things that seem impossible at some point. It is a far better explanation to Snape becoming a spy than what Rowling has given to us so far. :) I love that. And it was awful to imagine the situation with Voldemort torturing Little King. Makes my heart ache. I have absolutely no critic for you. I loved every little word... oh, yes... it could have been longer. :) I just wanted to read more about our dashing gentlemen. :)

Author's Response: Rebekka! Thank you SO much for the wonderful, amazing review! You have totally made my day. I'm not sure I even remember how I became so attatched to this ship, but I finally gave up on waiting for someone else to write it after about three months and decided to do it myself. =) I guess I just love it cause they're quite possibly the two most mysterious characters in the Potterverse, and there's so much one can do with that. And of course, I love the way it explains Snape's motivation and bitterness. Anyway, I'm so glad you liked the way I referred to the characters. I've actually thought about starting a longer chaptered story on this ship, after I finish my Myrtle fic. But unfortunately, that might take a very long time...

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Review #7, by Lucid Obscure Loyalties

11th February 2006:
This is excellent. I loved the royal imagery that you used, and that it was laced throughout giving such a rich feel. The story is ultimately dark and has a very melancholy ending but it does not detract from the overwhelming feeling of love and futility, that also is threaded throughout. I really feel for Severus because it much have been such an awful situation for him, and you allow us to see that so clearly and vividly. You really have done an excellent job of showing the forbidden side of the challenge, you have represented it wonderfully. Well done.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the amazing review, Lucid! I'm glad it fits your challenge well enough - I was a little worried about that. I'm also happy that you liked the imagery, and that Snape's feelings came across well.

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Review #8, by Nephele de Tourmalin Obscure Loyalties

5th February 2006:
Awwww this is really sad! I like it, though. It's a very interesting take on the Regulus/Severus relationship (if indeed there was one, and I like to speculate that there was) ...I've never thought about the two of them being romantic, though, but you write it convincingly. It might have benefited from a bit of dialogue, although I'm sure you kept it purely narration for a reason. I dunno, I just think it might bring it out a little more, make it a little more real, but that's just me. Even if it was only a line or two. Does that make sense? Probably not, as it's very late at night. Anyhow, very good stuff, as always! You're very talented. --Nephele

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it, even if the ship seemed a little strange at first. I see what you're saying about the dialogue - I didn't put any in because I felt it would sort of disrupt the mysteriousness I'd created by referring to them as the king and prince. So I guess I didn't really want it to seem "real." But in the future I'll probably write another story about them, more in the style of some of my other stories. =)

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Review #9, by killsdracowithspork Obscure Loyalties

5th February 2006:
I will admit that when I first saw that this was a Snape/Regulus pairing, it freaked me out a bit. But the way Snape was so protective over Regulus, by the time I got to the end, everything was so believable. I can't say you've converted me to this ship, but it is definately much better in my eyes. I absolutely loved the way you referred to Regulus and Snape as the little king and the prince. It gave the story and almost poetic feel... well, to me at least. I especially liked how Snape called Regulus his king instead of just the king or the little king. The tension and suspicion was great, and just added to the whole thing marvelously. The way you encorperated 7th book predictions into it was really good as well. And lastly, go you for trying romance! You definately succeeded at it.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the wonderful review! I'm so glad you enjoyed this story, even if the ship is a little... odd, and I'm glad you liked the way I referred to them. Your comment about the "poetic feel" is making me grin insanely right now... I'm so happy you liked this so much!

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Review #10, by timeturner Obscure Loyalties

4th February 2006:
Oh, nice. I love when people think out of the box and pick ships people normaly wouldn't write about. It makes the story interesting from the get go. Then to add your writing skills in it, well, this is probably the best fic of yours I've read. I loved it!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, timeturner! It makes me so happy to hear that you liked this fic so much. *grins insanely*...

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Review #11, by WickedWitch25 Obscure Loyalties

4th February 2006:
Very interesting ship and story. It was confusing with the king/prince thing but i got it after a while. Sad ending but I liked it overall. (I always said I liked your style.) Um... i dont really know what to say. Er... good descriptions and everything. I dont really have anything bad to say, so good job!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm sorry if you found the way I referred to the characters confusing at first - that's why I tried to explain it in my authors' note. Anyway, glad you liked it!

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Review #12, by Applegirl Obscure Loyalties

1st February 2006:
Wow is all I can say. I normally don't read slash but this story has changed me! I love how you've used the Little King and Prince notation to refer to the characters. You've made it all tie in so neatly! Amazing!! I'm adding you to my favourite author's list so I can read the rest of your stories!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed this fic so much, and I hope you like my other stories as well. =)

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Review #13, by pathetic_pettigrew Obscure Loyalties

28th January 2006:
Oooooh, you have turned to the dark path of angst my friend (cackles manically). I like this suggestion of why Snape became a spy; it's written well and convincingly. I have to confess I found myself smirking dring the first paragraph, but that's just my filthy mind seeing innuendo ;-) Lovely one-shot, as ever.

Author's Response: Lol, thanks Rosie. =) I had a feeling you'd like this one... and I'm glad you did. Thanks for the review!

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Review #14, by Sophia Montgomery Obscure Loyalties

28th January 2006:
I've never thought of this ship before, but hey- it works. The story line is interesting and well written. I don't know about how little emotion Snape seems to be feeling at the moment of Regulus's death, though. Also, wasn't Regulus deemed too inferior to be killed personally by Voldemort?

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! About Snape - sure, he feels plenty of emotion, but it's his ability to mentally distance himself from it which makes him such a superb Occlumens. As for Regulus - that's just what Sirius thinks, and Sirius certainly isn't an expert on the Death Eaters. We don't know how Regulus died. I've written his death scene more than once, and each time I just did whatever felt fit the plot better.

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Review #15, by PhoenixStorm Obscure Loyalties

26th January 2006:
Ack, lost my train of thought in there. How could I forget to mention the end?! Just wanted to add I completely adored this version of how Snape decides to become a spy. It's so different and original, like all your fics, and you wrote it in an utterly believable way. The way that he turned straight to what he could do, not letting himself even think for a moment on his loss, is also very Snape. Perfect end :).

Author's Response: Another lovely review from you! After reading HBP, I really have no idea about whether Snape's innocent or not, but if he is, I like to think this is why. Anyway, glad you liked it!

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Review #16, by PhoenixStorm Obscure Loyalties

26th January 2006:
Here! wow, did not expect such a fast update! (but great that you got a couple of new things out so quick).

Well i could only find one thing in here that was a little off. Together, they could have worked against the Dark Lord in secret, and led a happy life together after his defeat. maybe rethink the repetition of together?

Now this pairing would never have occurred to me in a million years but I htink you've written it well. I can't say as I particularly like the ship, but that's personal preference and nothing to do with your writing. You do have such original takes on things, makes your fics lovely to read.

I really liked how you only referred to the as little king and prince, it really added something here. I also completely love your characterisation of Regulus. Te explanation of everything he's been mentioned as int he books is well done and I really felt you'd written him very accurately. I also liked Snape, though preferred him more in the second half, not sure why though. I thought it was incredibly Snape to think something like What use could he be to anyone dead? when Voldemort is killing his lover. That steeliness and complete shutdown of his emotions is brilliantly wirtten and I liked that part best.

The hting I love most about this fic is how you write the Slytherin undercurrent to everything, and how you convey the true devastation Voldemort has created. Yet, it was not in their nature to trust others is very true and sadly so. It's very Slytherin and I like how you don't shirk the matter or tone it down to forward the relationship or anything. i really felt you kept very true to their characters in this fic.

For there lingered the slight possibility that the other, out of fear for their own life, or perhaps even out of anger, would turn their lover in to their master that doubt, that slight hesitation to trust and truly love, is what makes Voldemort so terrible. His ability to create such a divide between people is his worst power, and i like all the references you make to it. Again, this is a wonderful fic by you and I really enjoyed reading it :).

Author's Response: Lol, I didn't expect to finish this so quickly either. But I'm glad you liked it. I'll definitely fix that sentence - thanks for pointing that out. My first fanfic was a fourteen-chapter Regulus story, so I guess you could say I'm pretty comfortable with his character. =) Anyway, I'm glad you liked my portrayal of him, and of Snape, and the fear Voldemort's created. Thanks so much for the amazing review, as always!

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Review #17, by jynx67 Obscure Loyalties

26th January 2006:
You see, THIS is why you are on my favorite authors list. Your ability to take something so... different (I just couldn't say wrong, because you've proven it CAN work) and turn it into something so great. I absolutely ADORE that you never call them by name, just prince and king. I admit that I had a good chuckle over that after reading the first paragraph, but the smile tured into absolute awe. This is such a plausable relationship.

Now, gramatically, it is nearly perfect. There are a few times where you use 'their' when you probably should have used 'his'. But, that's the only thing I saw.

Brilliantly written, my dear. Simply breathtaking and wonderful! Keep up the excellent work.

Author's Response: Jynx! You're always so sweet, and your comments flatter me immensely... I've always found this ship believable, and am surprised that I haven't found any other fics on it. I chose the names cause I thought it seemed more angsty and mysterious... Lol, anyway, thanks so much for pointing out the little grammar thing - I'll be sure to go back and fix it. =)

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Review #18, by Something Wicked Obscure Loyalties

26th January 2006:
Wow, that was really original. I've never read a Regulus/Snape fic before and this was very imaginative and realistic. You are a fantastic writer.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm so glad you liked this story. I do find this ship realistic, even if no one else writes about it... =)

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