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Reading Reviews for Black Hearts, Black Minds
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Drama Queen of Queens D for Death

28th July 2007:
Sad.

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Review #2, by Yiva Potter D for Death

22nd July 2007:
That was really good! The pics were great

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Review #3, by Tessa D for Death

19th July 2007:
Absolutely magnificent.

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Review #4, by GryffindorGoddess06 C is for Cries

23rd June 2007:
that's so sad D= No one ever thinks that Severus might have a heart...

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Review #5, by Xylia C is for Cries

25th March 2007:
That was great! Poor sevvie! *hugs*

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Review #6, by holly bergman C is for Cries

20th May 2006:
Very good. Great.

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Review #7, by lids xx Black is for Mourning

17th May 2006:
Excellent! keep up the writin and do finish it off!!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot writin new chap now.

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Review #8, by Zubz2004 Black is for Mourning

27th January 2006:
Very nice fanfiction. It was written quite well and I like the way you've used Snape in such a way that he gives his opinion of the Marauders Era and the Trio Era. Very interesting. What really spoiled the fanfiction for me was the spelling errors and a few sentences that were confusing. -- You've consistently spelt "Gryffindor" and "Severus" wrong though most seem to be typos. -- You wrote that Snape has "piercing grey eyes" but he actually has eyes that are 'black like Hagrid’s, but they had none of Hagrid’s warmth.' (P.S.) -- You wrote "As he passed the slimy walls with unknown potions on the shelves, that have names..." It should be "He passed the slimy walls with unknown potions on the shelves, that have names..." because otherwise the sentence is incomplete. -- You need to sort out the sentences : "Yes Potter how he spat the name from his mind in an instant, the cause of his suffering." should actually be something like : "Yes. Potter. How he spat the name from his mind in an instant; the cause of his suffering." -- Same goes for, "...James was dead but Lily, no not Lily she needn't have died." It should be something like, "...James was dead but Lily. No, not Lily. She needn't have died." -- Also, the same can be said for "It had been mentioned by students as he heard often mainly around certain, good for nothing Gryfindor's that he was a vampire." The comma use is incorrect; it should be "It had been mentioned by students, as he heard often (mainly around certain, good for nothing, Gryffindors), that he was a vampire." -- You have quite a bit of unscrambling to do :p Some of the sentences I simply did not understand. :'( Maybe that's because my experience as a reader/writer is limited or I'm just plain dumb but some of your sentences really need unscrambling such as... "However the greatest magic of all possesed even Petunia who now gave it only to that of her son and her husband and herself was taken from her." And, "Just like Lily in her mind and eventually to James like Miss Granger was to Harry." -- Final point, is this written from Snape's point of view or a omniscient narrator? If it's from Snape's point of view, then he shouldn't really know about Pentunia. I'm not sure about that bit though. All the points I've raised, whether you agree with them or not, can be corrected with a simple re-read or re-beta'ing. Nothing too difficult :) Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this fanfiction. It was very realistic in most parts except the idea of Dumbledore being Harry's grandfather. Sure you mean surrogate and not biological? Am I correct in saying it is the former? Snape is one of my favourite characters (the second being Draco) and so I really enjoyed reading your insight to Snape and why he is the way he is in the books. I totally agree with it. I swear, you've quite perfectly copied my ideas taht I was going to use in a fanfiction I'm writing about Snape. Of course you didn't, I'm not accusing you of plagiarism because of the simple fact that I haven't even written my ideas down on paper. Lol. *Wonders how long this review is...* Anyway, great job! I'd love it even more if it wasn't for those simple mistakes and that stupid ringing sound (of silence) that I can constantly hear due to my temporary deafness. Also, just before I click the "Submit" button (getting tired of me yet? :p) I adored the flashback! It was so mean and described brilliantly the relationship between James and Snape (though of course not of THAT sort...) on a day-to-day basis. The ending of the fanfiction was wicked too. I actually think that this fanfiction is complete, you don't really need to add anymore as it's amazing as a stand-alone one-shot. Also, I don't think there'd be much point in adding any more chapters as you've basically summed up everything quite well in this one chapter and adding more chapters might easily take away the lime-light off this superb chapter. I think this is long enough... Splendid job! -Zubz (Can't be bothered to re-read my review so if I have any mistakes, please forgive me :D )

Author's Response: Thanks Zubbs.

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Review #9, by Em Black is for Mourning

26th January 2006:
I liked the insight into Snape's soul, why he went wrong, though I don't see the "Dumbledoor as grandfather" idea as realistic. Other than that, well done.

Author's Response: Thanks, I don;t really know it was just a thought, EmmalenaGranger

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Review #10, by elfbwillow Black is for Mourning

25th January 2006:
That was really well written. You showed another side to Snapey and you wrote the scene extremely well with a unique style to it! Really well done

Author's Response: Thanks Sharron, I wish more people would read it. I'm not writing for people to pitty him but I felt I sensed he was giving secrets off.

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