Fantastic! There aren't many stories about the Dursley's, and this is an excellent one. You have the characterization down perfectly, and I just love all the little touches that you put in (like Sirius growling at the end). Great job :) Report Review
Wow. Good characterization...but Vernon doesn't seem as mean as we know him to be. It's very good though!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! About Vernon, I think he's considerably more mean to Harry than he is to other people. He's selfish and annoying, but is as nice as someone like him can be to Petunia and Marge. With Lily and James, he doesn't really know them or spend any time with them, so I guess he wouldn't hate them as much as Harry. Anyway, glad you liked it. :) Report Review
Interesting story. I would have never imagined that Veron never loved Petunia but here you had me convienced that that is why he acted so wierd around his family. Your descripitions are good. I like it very much.Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! Although I wouldn't say Vernon doesn't love Petunia at all - he's just trying to convince himself he doesn't, if that makes any sense. Sorry... anyway glad you liked it! Report Review
This was really cute! I love how well you grasped Petunia's and Vernon's points of view! I also liked the mention of the black dog on the pavement. The storyline was great; I've never read anything like it!
~RaeAuthor's Response: Thanks so much, I'm glad you liked it and thought the characters were realistic. =) Report Review
Wow, have I not reviewed this story??? I remember reading it a long time ago and really loving it (just like I loved your Luna/Goyle romances). I found this a very funny and sweet story, and also very original. It actually made me root for Vernon and Petunia for the first time in my fanfiction experience. I loved the proposal at the end, and how Vernon saved Petunia from the "awful freaks." Great, great job!
Oh, another weird thing is that you reviewed one of my stories a million years ago, and I didn't even recall your penname as I was reading your Goyle/Luna fics until today when I was looking back through my reviews (do you ever look through your reviews to get inspiration? I do.). Yeah, that was random. But I was overjoyed to find my story on your favorites list. You're the best!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the great review! I'm glad you liked the story and that it made you see Vernon and Petunia in a different light, lol. And yes, I remember your fic - very original too! =) Report Review
Hmmm. Odd yet awesome!!!!Author's Response: thanks. =) Report Review
Amazing, simply amazing. This one-shot story was one of the best I've seen. You are quite gifted. I rated this ten and I hope you keep writing. I like your one-shot stories, they are very enjoyable. :)Author's Response: Thanks so much for the great review! I'm so glad you like my stories - now that I'm back I should have more stuff up soon. =) Report Review
You are a really great writer and I love your style of writng, but I really think that that whole part of Vernon really loving Petunia at the end was rather against the idea suggested in the beginning of the story. It said there that he only wanted to have a wife to wash his clothes and et cetera, but at the end you made it seem as if he really loved Petunia. I personally could believe either one; it just seems rather immplausible that Vernon would change his mind that quickly.
I have read a few of your other stories, and I really enjoyed all that I read. You are an amazing author, and you should definitely keep writing!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! With this story, it wasn't that Vernon changed his mind so quickly - as you said, it's not very believable. What I was aiming for is that Vernon really did love Petunia the whole time, but in the beginning, he's too caught up in how he thinks he should feel about women to realize the truth. Does that make sense? In other words, he's been taught a certain view on women, and tries to convince himself that it's how he feels, ignoring unwanted thoughts, but in the end, these circumstances cause him to realize what was there all along, and how important it is. Sorry if that was hard to catch. =) Report Review
I've always wondered how those two ended up together. Excellent writing!Author's Response: Lol, it is something to wonder, isn't it? Glad you liked it and thanks for the review! Report Review
Aww. That was cute in it's own weird way. I enjoyed it. I thought you portrayed Vernon Dursley perfectly.Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed my portrayal of Vernon. =) Report Review
Aww, that was touching in a dysfuntional Dursley-ish way. A bit condemning of the Dursleys in parts but wonderful all the same.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it. =) Report Review
LOVE IT! I just kind of wish you'd have explained how Petunia explained her sister to Vernon. Oh well. Good story.Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it. Sorry it wasn't longer. =( Report Review
Ah I think that works out quite nicely, two horrible people that were meant to be together. I like how the story was told from Vernon's view with his snobbish attitude. Very well written!Author's Response: Glad you liked it. It was fun to write such a pompous character. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
This story was brilliant. Vernon's personality was perfect and his ignorance and jealousy were very amusing. To see Petunia with her family showed us another side of her but then she simply wanted to escape from it all when she had the chance. In a few parts the sentences were a little choppy but otherwise the story flowed very well. You hardly ever read a Petunia/Vernon fic so it was very enjoyable.-Hermione006Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked my characterization of Vernon. Thanks for the suggestion too! Report Review
This is great...very well written...and I loved Sirius at the end (that's what I assume, anyway.) Great Job!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! And yes, it was Padfoot. =) Report Review
another wonderful story! I cant seem to find anything wrong with your stories! all these one shots just seem so utterly sweet and original! how do you ever come up with stories like this? All I have to say about this one is perfection. I never thought I would like a story about Vernon and Petunia so much but you made them so in character..Author's Response: Wow, I feel so flattered by all your lovely reviews. Thank you so much! This was actually my first romance story (actually, it wasn't even supposed to be a romance originally, but it somehow turned out that way...) so I'm very glad you liked it! =) Report Review
oh that was a very sweet story. i enjoyed it. i dont believe i had ever read one of your stories, but i was looking over the reviews for my shared account: skrops_dna_seotatop and you ahd reveiwed for one of my stories, so i decided to read yours. i really liked it. good job! ♥AMWAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked this story. =) Report Review
This is wonderful! Your Vernon and Petunia were different, but still very believable, and fatburger was hilarious! Yay vegetarianism (I don't eat meat either!) Marge and Vernon were very funny, and my favorite line was "the sister was obviously a bad egg, with all that red hair. " Nice way to include Sirius- very cute! I like the way Vernon watched them enter the ministry- I bet it would look pretty odd from a muggle's pov. All in all, another great story! Thanks for the read, xoxo NepheleAuthor's Response: Thanks for another great review! I'm glad you liked my portrayal of the Dursleys, including Marge - she was sort of weird to write... and of course Padfoot at the end. =) Report Review
Uncle Vernon is quite interesting in his own special way... I mean, who could resist his wit, charm, and, most importantly money? (I loved that line!) As I have said before in your other stories, and I will say again, brilliant characterization. Vernon was so pompous and full of himself. I can imagine him thinking of Petunia as just a caretaker... but really loving her, even if he won't admit it to himself. Marge was great too. The way she wen't from jealous to naggy to happy to just plain bossy was great. (And yeah, I would be freaked out by a place called Fatburger too... and I'm pretty far from vegitarian... That might be the cause of his already unhealthy heartrate. I loved that part too.) You did overall great job on this. I don't see too many Vernon/Petunia romances, and you pulled this one off very nicely.Author's Response: Thanks so much for another great review! You picked out all the little things about Vernon I was trying to get across. Marge was kind of weird to write... but I'm glad you liked her as well. Thanks for taking the time to point out your favorite parts! Report Review
He's a whipped boy, isn't he? He loves her, her doesn't...such a choice! I liked the part you added about the Evans. It was a nice undercurrent to add to the story. The descriptions and characterizations were great. Even with Vernon you couldn't help but find his decisions heart warming. Very nice bit of fluff, here...who would imagine Vernon would be able to have such a sweet love story written about him? It defies logic but here you've done it wonderfully. :)Author's Response: Lol, I'm glad you liked it even if it was a little strange. Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
I really liked how you wrote this story, how you wrote Vernon. I started out really angry at him for his views on the purpose of a wife, and a bit disgusted at his reasons for marriage. Pretty much the second paragraph made me want nothing more to do with Vernon, but you definitely had me hooked to know how this was going to end.
I really loved the line "the sister was obviously a bad egg, with all that red hair." What a hilariously ridiculous but very Dursley thing to say, that red hair makes a person a bad egg.
Another brilliant insight into Vernon's character was how he dealt with Marge. I really thought it telling how he asks how she is, she says she's sick, and he ignores her and tells her he's taking her out to dinner. Just as in the books, he is a man who expects the world to bend to his whim.
Then, suddenly, Vernon shows this protective instinct when he sees Petunia, and then when he hangs up and decides to see her in person after his panic attack, I realized he really does care about Petunia, and now I wonder if all that bluster in the second paragraph is just his way of validating his own self-importance and superiority by not admitting that he can be swayed by love like any other man. And in the end, he can sweep in like the hero he fancies himself to be and "save" Lily from the horrors of her family.
Now, a question: what is the significance of the black dog? Is that growl a warning to Vernon to run while he can, or a growl at Petunia for calling her sister a freak? Is it Sirius looking for the opportunity to exact revenge? Is it something you are leaving to the reader's imagination?
Overall, this was a fantastic story. I enjoyed it immensely. I really liked how natural and real the characters were, and how you let the characters tell the story through dialogue (internal and external) rather than narrative. It really lets you know the characters much better. Great work!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the amazing review! I'm so glad you picked up on all the little things I was trying to show about Vernon's character, particularly that the lack of control over one's emotions love often brings frightens him, and that in the second paragraph, he's simply trying to prove to himself that he's above such things. In the end, of course, he realizes that he isn't. Padfoot's appearance at the end was just sort of a spur of the moment inspiration. Originally, I'd planned to end with something like this: "Engrossed in their kiss, neither noticed a large motorcycle flying off into the clouds," but then decided I really didn't want to write the scene where Petunia accepts Vernon's proposal. So now it's really just a wacky little twist I'm leaving up to the reader's imagination. And luckily, most of the readers seem to like it. =) I really appreciate your comments about the dialogue, as it's something that used to be very hard for me. I like to think it's getting better though. Thanks again for the wonderful review! Report Review
OMG!! This is the first Vernon and Petunia story I've ever read and it was brilliant! The whole family by play was so well done; Petunia's relationship with Lily and James. Your Vernon is so well done that it is exactly how I imagined him as a young man. Lovely touch of the black dog ;)Author's Response: Thanks so much for another great review! I'm glad you liked my portrayal of Vernon, and Padfoot's appearance at the end. =) Report Review
Wonderful one-shot, really portrayed the traits of the chracters well, especially Vernon. This is you’re first romance story? That’s going to be hard to believe. I'm going to concentrate on characterization because I noticed that you are skilled in that area but could require just a tiny bit of work. I loved the fact that you made him appear such a jerk (sorry, but he is) and still had the skill to weave in the feelings that we might feel when we are in love. He almost seemed human with his possessive rage and shocked behavior, although I’m inclined to point out what one of your earlier reviewers mentioned, that he doesn’t respond to the discovery of magic how I imagined Vernon would. I would think that he would be outraged and probably curse Petunia's family for putting her through this as well as cry out in disdain of knowing such “magical” people. Petunia also fit her character remarkable well, even though I don’t quite remember Petunia having blond hair. (It could be just me)
Although I realize this was not part of the challenge, and yes it might have dragged your one-shot at a point where it got too long, it would have been intriguing to have Petunia explain her side. (why she hates Lily or complain about her family, etc.) and have Vernon sympathize with her. Maybe that would help out with Vernon's character glitch. It’s just a thought because I felt the ending closed too abruptly, although it was sweet, or as sweet as Vernon and Petunia can get *whispers: not very sweet, more of sickly, I tell you*
Overall, it’s a great piece and I congratulate you on your skill. No grammar mistakes and it’s very descriptive. I find it hard to search for cons to this story.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the amazing review! About Vernon - I felt that it probably took him awhile to get used to the idea of magic actually existing, and that at this point, he was too shocked to really know what to do with himself. Once he's finally accepted the fact that magic exists, I can completely see him getting quite angry. I just don't think he's there yet. All the same, I really do appreciate your comments about his reaction. As for Petunia, she actually does have blond hair in the books, but as it's brown in the movies, people tend to get confused. I think I'll add an author's note explaining that. As you said, it might have gone on too long had I included her explanation, which is exactly why I didn't. I'll see if I can think of another way to make it seem less rushed though. Thanks again for the great review! Report Review
Haha! That is so amusing. I like how Sirius is snooping and protects magic kind. And the way that Vernon proposed was actually, unbelieveably enough, cute! Good one shot- I liked it.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you liked it. =) Report Review
Wow, that was really well-written and your descriptions are wonderful. Your characterization of vernon is simply perfect, it's exactly how I imagined him to be. I'm not having a good reviewing day today, but I wanted to leave one in case i forgot to return here. I was laughing all the way throughout this fic...and I love Padfoot at the end. Well done on this, a superb job. Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you liked my characterization. I don't really know what possessed me to sneak Padfoot in (other that the fact that he's awesome), but everyone seems to like it. =) Report Review
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