{reviewid: 1529407, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
23rd July 2007:
m im not sure where your goung with this can't understand it
 Report Review |
{reviewid: 1529400, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
23rd July 2007:
i don't get this
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1529385, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
23rd July 2007:
weird but interesting
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1529206, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
23rd July 2007:
good this is a little strange though
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1529201, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
23rd July 2007:
good very interesting
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1528288, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
22nd July 2007:
very good glad ginny's involved
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1528278, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
22nd July 2007:
very good was that a wormtail i saw in this chapter??
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1528276, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
22nd July 2007:
oh no what has he done¬! good chaptert
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1528264, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
22nd July 2007:
excellent a lovely chapter
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1528255, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
22nd July 2007:
Wow that was good and very realistic!! I think.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1528251, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
22nd July 2007:
interesting, this is starting to warm up there are so many questions and i really want the answers i guess that means im liking your story because i want to read and read and read!!
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1528245, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
22nd July 2007:
lol very good, im sure there is a reason behind this?
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1528242, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
22nd July 2007:
m interesting, i like the questions you are raising so far in this story. this is coming along nicely
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1528233, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
22nd July 2007:
interesting, whats with neville and luna though??
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1528165, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
22nd July 2007:
Very Good, nice touch with the talk with Sirius although a little confused about the room!
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1528153, reviewer: 'darthvengeful'}
22nd July 2007:
good chapter. I liked the idea of Harry saying Thank you very touching and well you have got my interest with this melissa character.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1484860, reviewer: 'expelliarmus_01'}
27th June 2007:
This is really a great story. I hope it is completed before Deathly Hallows comes out.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I can't promise anything but I will keep writing.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1482874, reviewer: 'jay86'}
26th June 2007:
wow petunia giving harry a good piece of information! A good first chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading. According to a lot of speculation, there will be a revelation about the letters Dumbledore sent to Petunia in Deathly Hallows. However I don't think Petunia will volunteer that information to Harry easily.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1463083, reviewer: 'shadowkitty22'}
14th June 2007:
Congradulations There is no "d" in Congratulations, it's a "t"
say our condolences for whatever reason you "pay" them not "say" them.
And Harry knew about Aberforth Dumbledore from the fourth book because Albus told him. And your tense is still an issue.
I feel as if I'm being really mean, but my mom is an editor and I therefore just naturally pick out these errors.
Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out my typo. I made my point about Harry not matching the name Aberforth with the bartender a little clearer. This revised chapter should show the changes.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1463051, reviewer: 'shadowkitty22'}
14th June 2007:
So while the tense in which this chapter was written was consistent, I believe that it was written in the wrong tense.
Examples:
Harry puts out both palms in front of him This should be "Harry put out both palms in front of him"
Mrs. Granger replies Should be "Mrs. Granger replied"
Every action you seem to have written is done in the present tense as if you were reading a script from a play instead of a chapter from a book which are generally always written in the past tense.
Sorry if that seemed a little nit picky, but having your story in the wrong tense makes it rather difficult to read because your brain is constantly wanting to correct every single tense mistake.
But I'm still enjoying what I have read of your story so far.
Author's Response: Thank you for the advice. I have rewritten the chapter accordingly.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1459737, reviewer: 'guest'}
12th June 2007:
Where is the rest of this story? I want to finish reading this! Please update!!
Author's Response: The rest of this story is in my head and in my computer in the form of notes.
I will update this.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1459706, reviewer: 'guest'}
12th June 2007:
Great reading -- hope you continue!
Author's Response: Thanks for the encouragement.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1459640, reviewer: 'guest'}
12th June 2007:
As usual, another great chapter. Hope you continue to update this story.
Author's Response: Thanks.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1459618, reviewer: 'guest'}
12th June 2007:
Great story -- I hope you finish it!
Author's Response: Thanks. I too hoped to finish this but some fans won't like the end of my story. I found it hard to write a realistic end to my story based on conflicting evidence. First, an amusement park based on Harry Potter would sell more tickets if Harry survived his final battle with Voldemort. On the other hand JKR said in an interview that she would understand why other authors kill of their main character so that other authors don't use their character. We will see.
Report Review |
{reviewid: 1458591, reviewer: 'guest'}
11th June 2007:
Great chapter! Finally Harry is getting the hang of it! Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: Thanks.
Report Review |
