Oh wow, that was incredible! How beautiful, I really loved it. I hate James, but you do him justice and make me like him a *teeny* bit more. Sirius, on the other hand, is one of my favorite characters and I love reading stories about him (especially with slash and Remus or James) Great job, I look foward to reading more of your work!
DiandraAuthor's Response: *huggles* thank you :) glad you liked it, and James as well *is impressed* Report Review
A bit heavy in dialogue. it would help if you added some descriptions to flush out the story and pull the reader in more. I do love the idea you have here and the breaks worked wonderfully as opposed to many writers who can't pull them off well. I like the deep connection you made between them, the light chatter than underlied so much more in the relationship. very nicely done.Author's Response: Concrit received and saved to memory, thankyou. Glad you liked the idea Report Review
Wow, this was so original and heart-breaking. As I was reading it I actually felt that Sirius and James belonged together - you managed to convey the depth of their relationship. I have to say, though, when I finished it I thought 'hang on, he's cheating on Lily! He's betraying Harry!' but the quality of your writing is such that while reading I just thought 'pfft who cares Sirius and James love each other.' I'd be interested to know why James pursued Lily so doggedly when he has a perfectly good soul-mate already - I thought perhaps you were trying to hint that it was because James really wanted children? (hence Sirius' 'Lucifer' remark). I hope Lily's engaged in a torrid love affair with Remus ;-)Author's Response: 'I hope Lily's engaged in a torrid love affair with Remus ;-)' ... and the mind starts whirring...
I'm not really sure why James decided to leave Sirius for Lily, I hadn't thought that far ahead (or is it back?) maybe he didn't view Sirius as his soul-mate, just his best mate and regular shag. Maybe he just hadn;t thought at all, outside of 'I should get married'. I don't know much really. Thanks for the review Report Review
This is the first James/Sirius I've ever read and although I didn't think I'd like that pairing I actually rather enjoyed this. I think you've really managed to get across how much they mean to each other and how natural their love is. I was particularly touched by this line: 'James was his, he always had been, and he always would be.' as I think it's true, whether they had a relationship or not. Anyway, I found this flowed well and was over-all a very touching one-shot, well done!Author's Response: Thankyou! I'm glad you read despite the pairing, though in my opinion everyone should love some james/sirius love... thanks for the kind words Report Review
I thought this was interesting, and fairly well written, but there was too many one sentence *paragraphs* and a few of the sentences were awkwardly written, (i.e. Sat at the scrubbed kitchen table a good while later he regarded his friend silently between mouthfuls.) Other that those few things I thought it flowed rather well. - Jen
Author's Response: Message received and understood, thanks for commenting :) Report Review
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