Oh I see what you did there:) well if you want a review here it is:
This parody is so crassly written! I love it. It's hilarious and weird and interesting in the most crude way possible:) I love Potzer (whoever the hell he is) and all the bizarre humor that goes with his character. I'm personally fond of all his profanities. I hope it keeps getting better. Report Review
wth? Report Review
um why does the book keep showing up? Report Review
damn! lmao Report Review
ginny could use a drink? Report Review
if i recall i think you can tell them apart because fred is always the one incharge. the mastermind Report Review
you are awesome! Report Review
funny the same thing happened in the other story i was reading exept wit harry and ginny and an OC weird well your a good writer keep up the good writing Report Review
ok that was a turn of events but still a great chapter. hurry up with the next oneAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot! The first chapter of the thrid story is with my BETA.
Please please please hurry and do the next chapter!! I LOVE this story. You do an awesome job!!Author's Response: It's done! The third story is done! So don't worry. Right now the last chapter is with my Beta. Then I have to re-edit it. Then it has to go through the Validation process. But thank you for your overly kind comments. Report Review
that was really good,i'm a big fan, keep writingAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you. And don't worry, I am still writing this Trilogy. Report Review
OMG I love this story!!! It is so funny! Hopefully u keep it up!Author's Response: Definitely I'll keep it up. I'm working on the fourth one AS WE SPE-.... Type. Report Review
Hey me again! Sick of me yet?
I'm sorry to say that your description is still a little shoddy. If you don't feel like explaining everything don't, but try to at least say some little thing after your quotations.
On a good note, "Well EXCUUUUSE MEE!!" made the guy behind the counter sound a little Homer Simpson-ish, which I found quite funny. I also liked quite a few other lines but I'm not gonna say them all here. (They wouldn't fit *wink*) Great job with the humor. Update soon.Author's Response: Well, I've started on my Chapter 6 re-write. The OG was bad and pointless to the rest of the Trilogy so I'm writing a new one. Report Review
lol!!! Ohh Crab you never fail to make me laugh. I think this is my favorite chapter. For one I don’t have much to pick at, you did a better job with putting the blurb after quotations. Great job! Update soon!Author's Response: Allright I will.... As soon as I figure out this stupid spacing problems.... stupid tags.. Report Review
One thing that you really should work on, Crabbe, is your description. It’s not enough to just use quotations and then the occasional blurb. I don’t mean that in a bad way. Every writer has his/her flaws. Mine happens to be spelling, grammar, and description also. I also must add that I like how when you’re not writing quotations you use yourself as the narrator. Eg. “I would have to go into details about Luna's parents if I were to explain it.” It isn’t a common thing to see in stories but I really like it when the author does that just for something different.
I think this is my favorite chapter since it made me laugh. “Isn’t there supposed to be money in here?” lol poor Harry. I love Potzer! You did an excellent job with his character- I can sooooo picture him being Luna’s brother. Good job Crab!Author's Response: Crab? Is that an insult! I'll take you on! Just cuz a guy writes FF doesn't mean I CAN'T START SOME SHI-..... Oh that's my PenName. Sorry! Thanks for reviewing (like you said you would) and I'm glad I can count on you to write a good review. Report Review
Grr. I just noticed how oddly my last review spaced. Sorry about that, I still haven’t figured out this stupid tag thing.
Okay. I have figured out why I am still confused. Try not to make so many quotations. Or at least put a little blurb after a quotation. eg. “’No...’" Harry said coldly still annoyed” that was good because you gave me (the reader) a mental picture. However after that it was mostly quotations and I lost “the picture” (sorry if that sounds wierd)
You have an excellent vocabulary I must add. I admire any author who can use words in a story which I have no knowledge of the definition. On to the next chapter.
Author's Response: (Thank the Lord for my built-in thesaurus so people think I'm smart) Ahem. Well I'm starting to feel like people will only look at my stories for your magnificent reviews. Report Review
I haven’t read the first part of this story, but since I started this one already I’m gonna finish it before I read the first one. Bear with me if I get confused over something that is explained in the first part of the trilogy.
“he slipped into a dream..... It was just a day ago” instead of the ellipse (the dot dot dot) start a new paragraph. Also double space in between quotations, it just makes everything easier to read. “troll leg umbrella stand” lol! I would be scared too. I noticed a few more punctuation errors but I won’t mention all of them otherwise we’ll both go crazy. “Only Harry caught what Ron said this.” You might want to edit that line too. I couldn’t figure out what you were trying to say.
Other than that I think you’re a decent writer. You know how to get right to the point and although it can get confusing sometimes at least it wasn’t boring reading this chapter! Take that as a compliment lol. I suppose most of my confusion comes from not reading the first story but I guess I will discover that in time. Keep writing!Author's Response: Let me fill you in... Well in the first story all the couple broke up, Harry accidentally had relations err sexual relations with Hermione in an elevator. Potzer, F&G, all hired a group of anti feminist, machismo filled baseball players to ruin Mr.Granger's fashion show. Then, when everything had been patched up through poorly written chapters Mr.Granger knew of everything that went on in the day and ruined his daughter and her friend's lives in one fell swoop. Oh! Oh! And his assistant, Bruce, helped out. A strong burly man, who is still my favorite character. He has no appearance in this second installment, but I have just put him in a few scenes of the third one...... I believe that paragraph was better than the actual story.
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection