Wow - so this was your first piece! For a first piece, it is really good - original, different, and compelling (three words practically synonymous with you as a writer)
However, and I mean this as a compliment, but I can really see the difference between this and your more recent pieces, how you've grown as a writer. While Snape and Regulus were great, I didn't feel the parents as totally in character, and the spelling and grammar are less polished. However, it's still miles ahead of my best works, and definitely something to be proud of.
Also, as is increasingly expected when reading something of yours, I'm hit by the sadness and futility of these character's lives. Thanks for sharing this with us readers!Author's Response: thank you, I really appreiciate your honesty, but i really don't think its as good as you're telling me but hey who am i to argue. I was going to go back and re write it, but i think i might leave it as a testament to how much ive improved... Report Review
i'm not sure, i think its the scene changes, but for some reason reading this it feels kinda like if it was a film, id be watching in fast forward. also, im pretty sure mr and mrs black would never have been that nice.Author's Response: This was the first fic I wrote and I understand what you mean, I think it's quite appaling if I'm honest, but what can you do when your 11 and get an idea and your brain is writing faster than your hand can cope with.
It was originally written as a series of short 'flashes' of information, kind of like the photographs on Padme's bedroom wall in Attack of the Clones, they only show a short piece of what was going on, not the whole thing. I will be re writing this at some point, when I get round to it. :D Report Review
so great! i liked how you never mentioned a name but it was impossible to not realize who it was! 10/10Author's Response: Yeh, but I still look read it and go 'man I was rubbish at Fics when I wrote that thing.' but thanks anyway... :) Report Review
This was great! I loved it. Are you saying that R.A.B is Sirius's brother, Regulus(spelling?) because thats what I was thinking! This was really good!Author's Response: Baisically, yes, and as i read read the books I'm finding more and more clues that point to Regulus... :D Report Review
I love it!! ;)Author's Response: Thanks :D Report Review
Very nice! Your story was exquisitly detailed, and very good in translating what's written to what you see in your mind. LOL! Write on! (P.S.)(I'm a friend of Ginny and Harry) Author's Response: Thanks, not many people have reviewed this story, glad u like it, i might come beck to it someday and rewrite it, improve it. Oh and it's 'lolness' not lol, i'm wierd i put 'ness' on the end of almost everything.
Anyway thanks for the review, read my other fics, and i hope you like them too... Report Review
Woah. That's really good, I mean really good as in awesome... Yes I would like a beta reader for my story What is love? Here's my email: NoucheNouche@NetAxis.ca
Author's Response: I'd be glad 2 be ur beta reader emma! Report Review
cool- u gonna post sum mor stuf on here? *puppy dog eyes* 8-)Author's Response: I'm trying to put up my Harry/Ginny fic, i put it up and then i dont get an email to say its not ok, but they dopnt put it up anyways, so im confused Report Review
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