ive never known the background stories of the founders, and cant wait to see what this story can give!Author's Response: Haha, wow you really have read a handful of my stories, I'm glad that you like this one although I had almost forgotten that I started writing it. However I may see if I can get it going again during the holidays. Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
Very interesting, its gonna make a good story! update soon.Author's Response: That's great, gald you think so cus, I might update think sometime, but it is temporarily abandoned as I have too much else to do at the moment. Report Review
Kewl, off to go read the next chapter!Author's Response: Okies, thats great! :D Report Review
very nice and intersting .[is there anyway to mad you change your mind on this story to be not abandone]
It is a pity anyway rating as always when i like the story it gets 10/10.Author's Response: Alright i'll think about it, specialy for you i'll see what i can do. Report Review
I know is abandone but i find it intersting...
rating 10/10.Author's Response: Aw thanks its good to know. i might carry on with it some time, but right now i have too much to do. Report Review
I think you want to put a little more detail into this chapter. What exactly is Salazar like? Does he flip his hair elegantly across his shoulder? Or more like he is bored, or angry? Do his eyes flash with excitement when he sees magic? Or does he see a manifestation of power that could be his if he could only grasp it? Is he immensely frustrated that magic (so far) has been beyond his reach? How does he show this? How does he interact with his parents? How do his parents interact with Percival, how much do they know that goes on? How much does Salazar really consider taking the road of staying a nobleman and not being a wizard? Being 13 and totally enamoured with magic, I wouldn't imagine him really considering the good things of having a stable and predictable life, and all the downsides to being a fugitive wizard. He just doesn't seem to have that maturity, especially being mostly sheltered as a noble. And one thing you might want to touch on, is how the wizard world is structured, and kept hidden from others. (Though not necessarily in this chapter.) I think you have a good start here, you just want to consider some of these questions to enhance what you already have.Author's Response: Ok thanks that will help me loads, I'll go and edit it, I must admit, it isn't one of my best chapters and i am planning on touching on the way the wizarding world is structured in later chapters. Report Review
I really like how you start this out, that magic wasn't really common back then. What you might want to touch on though, is the time period. Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago, so that would put it somewhere around 600-900 AD. You might want to check what was happening in England at that time and make sure you tailor the family and social of life to fit the time period. I don't know my European history all that well, but is that the time when the Picts inhabited the British Isles? If you learn the history of the time period, you can use that to your advantage. And one thing you will probably want to include is why Salazar came to hate muggles so much. In the books, his character is inferred with an intense loathing of muggles.Author's Response: Thanks, I'll ceck out what was happening in england around that time, but i wouldn't know about the picts cause I'm actually from South Africa. anyway thanks for the tips and I'm off to check up on that now. thanks again for the review! : ) Report Review
Good story. It sounds interesting. Is Percival an ancestor of Dumbledore? I was thinking he sounded a bit like him; then I realised that Dumbledore has Percival as one of his middle names, I think, so I was wondering if there was a relationship. It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into the lives of magical people in the Middle Ages. The only thing I would question is the way that your characters seem so worried about having magic. It says at the beginnning of Prisoner of Azkaban that real witches and wizards were rarely caught that that even when they were, witch-burning had no effect on them. It also says that Wendlin the Weird allowed herself to be repeatedly caught, just for the fun of it. I know she existed a few centuries after the founders, but I still think there is a question there. Have they not yet invented the freeze-flame charm used by later witches and wizards? Why don't they use their magic to escape capture? They could apparate or they could modify their captors' memories to make them forget they had seen the person perform magic. Sorry; I am harpering on this point way too much. This story is really well-written and I like the way you describe the Slytherin family. Things haven't changed much with regard to holding grudges. Voldemort is just the same about his father. Oh, in the 5th line up from the end, it should be "parents", not "parent's".Author's Response: Great thanks. I think that my resoning for why they are worried is, the if the Slytherin family didn't know that if they were burned they wouldn't be affected. so they didn't want to risk it. They couldn't have done anything else because as i said they had been trying to cover up their magic for generations so they wouldn't have learned any magic. Also, if the common people learned that the Slytherin family had magic they would have a huge rebellion on their hands and if they were 'burned' for witchcraft they wouldn't have been able to simply pop back to their highranking position or the common people would be terrified. and just in general for my stry, it didn't work if everyone just accepted magic.
I need a reason to bring the characters together! Thanks for he review and the builds,
(yours has got to be the longest review I've ever had, and that's a good thing!)
and I'll go and fix that mistake now! : ) Report Review
The prologue definitely caught my interest and left me wanting to read more. I've already started liking the character of Percival, he seems very enthralling. However, I can't see that the Slytherin family would try to suppress their magic too badly, or that's just not what I imagined of them. Also, the children that were born without magical powers, I don't think that the Slytherin family would be too happy with them, either. Anyhow, I can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: Yeah I realise that it seems a little strange how the slytherin family act but you'll see later, the whole pureblood pride of Slytherin thing at least in my stroy really only begins with Salazar... it'll all make sense later on i suppose.
Anyway glad you're enjoying it and the next chapter is already in waiting, I'm sorry if it's a little short but they will hopefully get longer. : ) Report Review
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