Dear Author,
I just finished reading all of the chapters that you have up and would like to give some constructive critism. I think that you need to establish you characters a little more. Because i feel as if i don't really know who Nova and Marla and Alice really are because they aren't in the story quite enough. I can see there definitive personalities but i would just like to stress the point of me not really feeling like I'm part of the story and i really know these girls.
Other then that this story is very good. I think that you have shown Lily's confusion etc. very well.
P.S. i know this is mostly about Lily personally but when you flick to James POV we need some more of Remus because sure he's there but I think that he is just as big of a marauder as James and Sirius. Again great story I'm just trying to help
TryingToHelp

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update please!
oh and just 2 let you know if you didn't already you made a error on this sentence:
"Lily looked down at the coins, glittering through her glass of butterbeer, and back up at the looming head of Jesus’ messy locks."
You called James 'Jesus' instead of his real name.
10/10


Author's Response: I didn't! Oh my, that's embarressing. Ahaha, thanks a lot on pointing this out! Also, this story is on hiatus. I'll try soon, though! Thanks!

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hey hows it going? i luv this story! plz tell me that this is not the ending!!!its to suspenseful!!! what will happen to them? will they get 2gether or not?

Author's Response: Update will be soon!

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OMG next chapter PLEEEEEAAASSE!@!!!!

Author's Response: It's coming... it's coming... I'm completely stuck! It'll be up soon! I promise!

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love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

keep writing and updatin!!!!!

Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I'm trying my hardest to get the next chapter up, but I just keep getting stuck! It'll be up shortly, I promise! Thank you!

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Wow alot infomation, whew, lol. Anyway it was great cant wait till the next chapter or the next story! Doyou have a preview or something about the new story??? I will check back. bye!

Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked the chapter!! And, as for the next story, it's up! Thank you!

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awesome story
i love it
please update soon

Author's Response: I'm glad that you like it! Updates are forth coming! Thank you!

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please post another chapter, i want to know what happenes!!! its gr8

Author's Response: Another chapter will come in the coming weeks! It is not one to miss, either!!!! Thank you!

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more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more




more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more




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more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more... it thin this says is all!!! PLEASE UPDATE SOONER!!! and what was that, “But that’s the point, Potter! You didn’t ask me out!� ???









MEL

Author's Response: I don't know... but it so sounds like you want me to write more...? And hm... Lily's comment... no further comment - thank you :P (runs away before mob kills her.)

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First, I must comment on your reply to my last review. I will have you know that 'Kiss Kiss ^_^' is my trademark which I have now added to and you will discover at the end of this review. I like my trademark. *Makes pouty face before grinning like mad* Next, I must say I was aggitated at the wait, but I will live and i forgive you for delivering this brilliant chappie. I almost gave up on checking. You're lucky. I told myself this was the last time. I'm short on patience as it is and this was pushing my limits, but like I said, the brilliant chappie makes up for everything!!! Seriously! I'm not mad anymore, but if you do it again I will have to send my pet human, Dr. Lecter, to force you to write. He can be quite persuasive. (jk, LOL) I hope Lily is alright with the parent situation. It's just so sad! Lily asked him to stay!!! Yay! BUT he already left! Boohoo! *sobs* Please update really really soon! I already have Dr. Lecter ready for the hunt if you don't! (LOL) Update soon!
Kiss Kiss ^_^ EMBRACE THE FREAKDOM!!! (I love my trademark!)

Author's Response: Haha, your trademark is excellent! I have nothing against it :P Any who, don't worry, the next chapter is in motion! The wheels are turning, and the plot is folding! The next chapter will be delievered shortly, just keep checking my site for updates!!! Thanks for the review!

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elloz
gr8 story
keep it up
luv smiles

Author's Response: Hey! More chapters are to come! Thank you!

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urgh...lily!!!! she's sooo blind to what's right in front of her. so frustrating when two people are meant for eachother and they don't realize it! anyway...great chapter and please update soon with sugar on top and a cherry LOL.

Author's Response: Lily is quite a frustrating character, she really is! And I agree completely! When two people are meant to be *cough*RonAndHermione*cough* they are just completely blind! Thank you for being a lyoal reader and reviewer!!

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Once again a wonderful chapter! ^_^ I was really excited to see a new update. The story is coming along wonderfully (the pace is just right!) and that little cliffy at the end was great! =) I can't wait to read what happens next! Oh and thanks for answering my question by the way. I find the secondary characters can sometimes be hard to write and it's nice to see where people get their ideas from. ^o^

Author's Response: Aw, you're sweet! I couldn't believe that I finally got it up!! What happens next, is, to be truthful, sad and exciting and so much more! And no problem! Secondary characters are hard to write, and I basically get my ideas off of my friends or from storybook characters! Thanks for being such a loyal reader and reviewer! Thank you!

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write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more

Author's Response: Double post? Haha, thanks anyway!

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write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more write more

Author's Response: Haha, will do! Thanks!

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hi again!!!! i luuuuved it!!! awesum awesum awsum!!!! the last part, with lily and the fumbled words, i felt bad for her/smirked. oo, bell rang, i gtg, luvs much, i luv it!!!!!

Author's Response: Hey! I'm glad that you loved it!! Yes, Lily is all jitter-jatter! Get to your class! Thank you!!

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ohnoes clify, Hurry up with next chapter!!!

Author's Response: Next chapter will be up shortly, and yes, I'm evil, cliffy! Thanks!

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eerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr................rite but the stori is great though!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it, thanks!

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just out of curiosity, but were is the update???? i want to know wat is going to happen next!!!! MEL

Author's Response: I feel bad! I really do! But the update will be soon! Don't worry! I'm finishing it up as I type this! Thanks!

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1st chapter nearly made me cry! :-( Good story so far though!

Author's Response: Aw! No crying, Rachael! It gets better! Thanks!

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wicked

Author's Response: Event hough your review was just one word, I'll let you slide since that word is my favorite word! That and it's also my favorite book and play^_^ Thanks!

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Wow... It's just... Wow... I /really/ loved it when Lily punched James, then threw her arms around him... For some reason it was just cute... Wonderful read! I'm honestly glad it was long...

Author's Response: Haha, yea, I needed to throw something cute in their to break up some tension... if not, that wall would just would have mounted! I'm glad you liked the length, I get worried that they're sometimes too long! Thank you!

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I completely adore this fic! I feel so bad for Lily. Things couldn't get any worse for her I don't think. I could slap Nova for scolding James. He was trying to help her and she lashed out at him. It wasn't his fault and Lily did hug him by choice. I like Lily's last statement,“I can’t do it, Nova, I can’t do this anymore.� I know what she feels like in some respects. I feel like I can't go on sometimes too. She just needs to hold strong. Please update very soon! I want to see what happens with Lily! Kiss Kiss ^_^

Author's Response: No, I don't think that anything can get any worse, but hey, you never know, right? Yes yes, Nova is very protective... but I think she's just trying to protect her from anymore pain - but you're right, the hug was her choice!! I know how Lily feels entirely, too, the poor girl... I will update ASAP! Thanks!! (P.S.: Kiss kiss? Excellent choice of words... hmm...) *smirks*

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Okay, i just read all of your chapters in like 4 hours! It took me long enough though. They're all good! Where do you find the time? I'm hp_fan_girl from mugglenet fan fictions. I read all of your stories and all I can say is... wow! An appluase is in order!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you took the time to read my story! Thank you for coming to HPFF! You're entirely kind. Yes, my chapters are long, and I'd imagine that they'd take forever! Thank you very much! And an update is on the way! Thanks again!

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yay, i has been listed!!! lols, anyways, this was so sad! i luv it!!! i have a little tear that is thretening to poke outta my eye, which would be horrible cuz my brother is over, lol. anywaysies, really luv it, thanx so much for the update and totally long chappie!!!! i'm gonna fail my math test, but thats ok! lol, exams suc, dont they? ummmmm....some spelling mistakes, but thats ok. poor lily...:P

Author's Response: Exams do suck, I'm with you there! I did fairly ok on them... haha, but 'tis ok! You won't fail, study hard!! Yes,this chapter was sad... but there are other sad, sad ones -- I like to write long chapters 'cause then it keeps you guys interested, and it entices other readers. Update soon! Thank you!!!

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