write more! its really interesting!! :)Author's Response: Thanks! I do need to get back to this story. Report Review
I like this story a lot. I hope you update soon! Tom/Luna pairing is unusual but not unheard of. I think you are doing a great job so far. I like the beginning so far and would like to know how the story plays out.
Your grammar and everything is great, and I repeat again, I hope you update soon!Author's Response: Well thank you! I really do need to get back on this story, but I need to re-think it through I think. I can't guarantee I'll update it very soon, but hopefully I'll get on it before too long. I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
It's a good chap.,please update!Author's Response: I will eventually, lol! Report Review
o ho! me likey! me likey very much! lol. i was looking for the 'next chapter' link but there wasn't one! *sob* you better update soon or ill...stab you with a...spoon! Author's Response: Thanks! I doubt I'll update soon, but please don't stab me with a spoon! It'll make udates even slower! Report Review
oooh! another story revolving around my fave character! you perfectly captured her character and i laughed out loud when i read her reason for wanting to go back in time. i hope you update soon because im hooked now! no excuses alright? lolAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you think she's IC...this is an "on-the-side" for me and very difficult to plan, so updates will be slow, unfortunately. Sorry! Report Review
wow you just blow me away.Author's Response: Thanks! Report Review
I'd like to congratualate you on a job well done!
Very good story! I admire your initiative to create something like this :P Not many people would take on a story with a Luna/Tom pairing!
I think you did really well on this chapter and the idea of that Peragro ring seemed really creative and well thought out!
This is a really interesting story and I can't wait to find out what happens next! Something I might suggest is longer chapters maybe :P. Readers always love when they see how theres always a nice long chapter waiting to be read :).
I think you did a very good job on this and I'd really like to read the rest of this story and see what you have planned!
Very well done!Author's Response: Thanks! Luna/Tom is odd, and I swear I must be out of my mind to attempt it, lol. I'll try to work on my chapter length. Thanks for the great review, and I hope to hear from you next chapter! Report Review
I love your story! Can you update it as fast as you can?Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! It'll probably be a while before the next chap., though. Report Review
I love this chapter! Can you add more!!!!!!??????Author's Response: Thanks! Unfortunately, it'll probably be a while before the next update. Report Review
Excellent chapter! I really, really enjoyed it!
The first and third paragraphs were very intriguing indeed. I have read very few insights into Tom Riddle's mind and way of thinking and this one is a great one. You pictured him suitably: annoyed by others, manipulative (''use them to his advantage if possible...''), intelligent...Good job on that! Also, the ''...coming from Abraxas Malfoy...'' shows you have an extensive knowlegde of the HP books -I liked it that you used it!)
The Luna - Armando Dippet scene was fabulous! You did an outstanding job in portraying Dippet --I enjoyed his suspicious nature! And Luna is portrayed perfectly by you, she is real and I can identify with her.
All in all, an amazing chapter and I cannot wait for the next instalment! ~Anastasia
Author's Response: I loved writing Tom...it was the most enjoyable part of this fic, and I'm glad you think I did a good job with him. I liked the Abraxas-snoring part, because it's funny to think of a Malfoy snoring, lol. I enjoyed writing Dippet - I had so much freedom with him, and I'm glad you liked that scene, too. So, Luna's still IC? I still worry that she isn't, but I'm glad you think she is. I may just be paranoid. Thanks for the great review, Ana - I do enjoy them so much. Report Review
This was a wonderful chapter! It was so interesting and I really enjoyed reading it. Not only is Luna wonderfully written, but Tom... is as I imagined he would be. He is amazingly convincing, and I loved how you portrayed the headmaster!
Great job and keep writing! I look forward to more!
MegzAuthor's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you thought I did a good job with Luna and Tom, and that you like my take on Armando Dippet. Thanks for the review! Report Review
I really like this fanfic, but I'm dying to read more!Author's Response: Thanks! I'll try to get more out soon! Report Review
When are you going to add another chapter? I'm itching to know!Author's Response: Hopefully sometime in February. Report Review
Update soon!Author's Response: I'll try! Report Review
No apologies! I think this is a wonderful start! You got around the clichéd timeturner idea, made Luna very believable and her unwillingness to defend herself but to stand up for other things that seem impossible seems a good ‘in’ with Tom. After all, he too believes in things others think impossible. I can’t wait to see where you decide to take this and I can’t wait to meet your version of Tom!Author's Response: Thanks, now I don't feel guilty for making Luna so bold! The timeturner thing gave me a lot of trouble - it's cliched and doesn't seem plausible to go back years (which is why I avoid timeturner fics), but I had to make this out of my realm (thanks a lot for that, lol), so I had to come up with something. It was difficult, but I'm satisfied know (though I wish I could have avoided the timeturner altogether). I think you've given me some more ideas for this fic/made it easier on me from this review! Thanks! Report Review
Err, sorry about the other review. I didn't mean for it to just copy the words. . .Here's the review:
'“Good Morning, Dad,” Luna Lovegood greeted her father as she grabbed an apple from a bowel on their kitchen table.' Bowl. 'After looking the apple over carefully, shaking it in front of her ear as if to hear something, and washing it she began to eat it.' You have some tense problems there. I think that you might want to put the apple-shaking part as 'trying to hear something', not 'as if to hear something', because you do not explain what it is that she hears. 'A few moments later, he came back in and informed her that he had to meet someone in Diagon Alley, and that she should get her school supplies while he was meeting this person.' Should is a forceful word. I don't think any of the Lovegoods, by determining Luna's behavior, is that forceful. 'Could' fits in just fine. Also, 'this person' is very vague. Friend, foe, co-worker could all work instead of 'this person'. '“Hey, look, guys,” Luna heard a boy – whose voice was all too familiar – shout from behind her as she walked down the street of Diagon Alley. “It’s Loony Lovegood!”
Luna ignored the boy – Saul Bennet – and continued walking down the street. He was always insulting her; in fact, he was the first person at Hogwarts to refer to her as “Loony” – at least to her face.' You have a lot of - - in this part. You could use commas. Also, who is Saul Bennet talking to? He has a lack of brains if he's talking to himself. 'Luna whirled around, her fuse finally blown. “Everything in The Quibbler is true!” she exclaimed vehemently. “Not that you would know that; you’re too busy bugging others to know anything of any importance!”' I have doubt that she'd be angry. Luna would probably be uncaring towards his words. Maybe a little bit hurt on the inside, but I'd expect she'd pretty much say 'Oh, whatever.' in a careless manner. Ooh, and she meets Tom (I'm guessing it's him) right away? You mentioned the Pegro ring in a way that didn't make me say 'Oooooh, it really sounds made up!' The name fits it perfectly. But I'm rather interested in what it does besides side-along timeturning. Author's Response: Thanks for the advice - I'll do a re-write of this chapter within the next week or two. More about the Peragro Ring will be revealed later in the fic, and I'm glad you thought I did a good job of bringing it in. Report Review
Luna whirled around, her fuse finally blown. “Everything in The Quibbler is true!” she exclaimed vehemently. “Not that you would know that; you’re too busy bugging others to know anything of any importance!” Report Review
I like your story and I can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: Thanks, but you might have to wait a while! Report Review
I love your story! I like romace stories that include bad/good characters.Author's Response: Thanks, and I sometimes do too! Report Review
Hey Lynn, how are you? lol I love this story, it seems SO promising…It’s so nice! Please update! But what less should I expect from you Lynn? You write beautifully.Author's Response: Thanks! I'm really ready for Christmas to come and go (it's so much work whn your not a kid!).
i'll tri to update before March. Thanks for reveiwing! Report Review
That was good, though it was short. Are you going to add another chapter? I like this and can see it going in many different ways, but I think Luna may have been a little too bold. Just my opinion, but I think she should be more shy and ignore the teasing. However, the rest of the time you used Luna, you did so very well. Author's Response: Yes, a new chapter will be up....sometime. I guess I'll have to work on Luna some, but hey everyone has a breaking point so...Thanks! Report Review
Hey, I know this isn't a one-shot, but I'm writing a Luna story and was interested in seeing how you wrote Luna... I don't know what you mean by this not being very well written, I think it's wonderfully done. You describe things beautifully, and so far Luna seems like... Luna! She's not OOC or anything... If you want me to keep reviewing this story, just post in the reviewing forum. Great job, MEgsAuthor's Response: Thanks! I'm glad Luna's not OOC - I was worried to death over that! Luna's a difficult character to write b/c she's so unique, and it makes me very uncertain about if I did ok or not. Report Review
Cna't wait to read more.Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Great first chapter. I love your story idea. It should be interesting to see what happens next. Please continue!
Author's Response: Thanks, and I'll try to have the next chapter up before too long! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection