loved itAuthor's Response: Aww I'm glad you liked it! Thank you for reading! Report Review
Good story, please keep writing! ~MarieAuthor's Response: Aww thanks! I really need to add more to this but I'm having trouble with making the decision for which way I want this story to take. I have two plans, I just need to make a darn decision! i will lol, and then I promise an update! Thanks for the review! Report Review
You have indeed intrigued my interest! This story is one of my favorites and I was very disappointed to only have three chapters to read. As I stated in my previous review, I may not review everything I read, but I have been reading a lot of your stories. I read Velvet Lies as well as Hogwarts, a cultural history. So far i have loved everything, but this one I believe is my favorite next to Jaded. Your stories have become a personal favorite of mine and I promise futher reviews even if they are far between. I love your originality it's what has kept me reading. It's hard to find fanfiction even if it is well written (as yours is -added bonus) that is not fitted to a mold. Your characters seem so real which should be the writers goal--to make the characters as real to the reader as they are to the writer through their experiances. Kiden is dreadfuly funny. I love her very much. Even canon characters you make your own. I also like they way your stories are all connected somewhat. It makes it like your reading about one big world and it's really interesting. I truly admire your ability. I would greatly appreciate if you dropped by some of my stories and told me what you think. I know I'm not yet to your point in skill or grammar, but I love feedback and constructive critisism. Can't wait for the next update!!!!!
Sammy LouAuthor's Response: I'm sorry to have disappointed you by only having 3 chapters available at this time - however I'm delighted that you enjoyed this little piece so far. I'm also VERY sorry it took me so long to respond. I know it's no excuse but I have been away from home for the last couple of weeks. I will be out on the road again next week but I should have some time next weekend to catch up on my hobbies - and in that, I would LOVE to read your stuff (however it will probably be next weekend when I'll have more time to do so). For not reviewing very often you do a spectacular job of it, and I feel truly honored that you took the time to review this story and leave me all the brilliant encouragement that you did! I definitely like to go against the grain in the fanfiction world (as well as 'try' and make believable OCs. I am an OC supporter when they are well thought out and rounded. You saying that I have well developed characters is the best compliment I can receive. Thank you.) - however in that I find that (because I write a bit more eccentrically) being less main stream means less readers but more devoted ones too. I think you may be a first (you have no idea how EXCITED it makes me that someone actually got it) - all of my stories do overlap...they all take place in the same little world (hence bit characters in one story being main characters in other stories). Jadis you win my personal honors award for being the only one to have ever picked that out. :-D I do look forward to reading your stuff, and I just can’t say it enough – Thank you so much for your amazing encouragement and beautiful review! I hope never to disappoint you in my writings. :-) Report Review
I really like it! I love the story velvet lies, you can know me as the girl who... never reviewed. Sorry. But i love that story, its now a favourite, and i cant wait for the next chapter! depressing ending to velvet tho, it made me so sad... :-( but I still Love the story and i hopw ull update soon on this one!Author's Response: It's okay that you never reviewed - I'm just glad you read it and liked it. The end of Velvet Lies made me sad too - I had that story planned for so long and I seriously considered changing what I had planned because I generally prefer happy endings...but I just couldn't (though I really REALLY wanted to). I really wanted that story to fit with canon, however this one is my attempt at recovering from that other sad ending. :-) I do hope to update soon! Thank you again for the awesome review. Report Review
Hello, Kiden... I'm your ass of a cousin Draco.
The next chapter is going to be a great thing! I just know it.
Author's Response: *hehe* You totally see where I was headed huh? I do have the intention of having a bit of fun with the next chapter. Kiden has such a foul, no nonsense attitude - I worry for someone in her path. I'm a bit torn on the way I want to take this...before, when I first started writing this story, Kiden's mother was supposed to be dead (really) but with the outcome of Velvet Lies - well we'll just have to see. :-) Report Review
Ah. The Angsty Harry is here again... poor Kiden..
Awesome!Author's Response: I have never written Harry, honestly. I don't really know why and I kept OotP at my side for angry harry references throughout this piece. *hehe* I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Thank you for reading it! Report Review
I love her! She's just like me... except I don't smoke... which is good. And she's my age too! Bless her!
I love it. I can't wait to read Chapter Two.
Your avid fan. ;]
sarahAuthor's Response: Yes it is good that you don't smoke, I wouldn't encourage it. My parents smoked and I think that's why I don't. However it seemed to fit her character. I very much love Kiden...she's like all the things I wanted to be as a teenager and couldn't. I have to thank you Sarah, very very much - you've been really have been an avid and encouraging fan to me. Even on other writing sites. :) Thank you so very much for your support, I'm so glad have enjoyed what you've read of mine. I'm blushing seriously. *blush* :) Report Review
Incredible climax of events Mandy! I know this is not the ending of your story, but I am afraid that with Kiden leaving, it might soon be ... unless, of course, as you’ve alluded, Harry is successful in reverting Kiden to the good side — the “Light side.” With the letters from Hermione you set up the suspense of this story; with the dialogue and Kiden’s apparently dumbfounded concern, the actual plot and character development. The alluring aspect of this piece, Mandy, most definitely is your bold construction of events, leading from one unexpected circumstance to a series of other surprising occurrences. However, what I find is most inducive to a proper understanding of these two characters is their interactions. As the plot thickens and the story progresses, the interchange between Kiden and Harry also unravels. In this "coming out," all of the mysteries and splendidly romantic fallacies of a relationship doomed from the start are clearly described, and I realize that the condition upon which both these people hang to is, quite simply, trust. I only wish this story could come faster, but I am certainly a patient person and will bid my time. ;-)) Besides, I must give you my best wishes for the piece you’re currently working on, your prized jewel of intuitive and creative fiction, “The Academy of Alchemy.” Best of luck, MattAuthor's Response: Matt ~ Again I’m beside myself with your kind words and lovely review. I have a few plans for this piece and the more I look at it the more I know it’s going to be longer than I first anticipated. I’m at a crossroads now. I have two ideas of which I’ve considered using, both as unexpecting as the other and neither am I quite prepared to take. (I suppose there is a third path I could consider but I really haven’t even entertained the idea that Kiden would really turn into a traditional Malfoy ;-) “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and sorry I could not travel both…” is my motto on this piece…I certainly can’t go both ways though I’d like to and that’s why this piece has sat stagnant for awhile now. Thanks Robert Frost for that damning line. Soon I’m going to have to sit down and drill out one way or the other…neither of which I think any of the readers of this piece are expecting. I should consider a creative editor on this one, hehe. I think in this chapter Harry is brought around to the quote you pointed out in your last review – he still (likely even more) doesn’t want Kiden on his bad side. Either way I have so many unfinished pieces I’m afraid (since this is the one I don’t know for sure which way I want to take to get to where I’m going) this one is going to have to wait a little longer. However, I so appreciate your support of my writing…thank you so very much Matt! ~ Mandy Report Review
Mandy, what an interesting turn of events you’ve given us! I was about as incredulous as Harry when I read that Kiden’s real name was Malfoy, but I expected his reaction certainly to be defensive. What I also found interesting was his sending off a letter to Hermione almost instantly: definitely *not* something Harry would do on a free day, but it was an incredibly novel idea, and for that I commend you. And although Harry’s rebellion against his own “family” is foreboding in the sense that he doesn’t deeply love or respect either his aunt or his uncle, Kiden’s wild-natured and utterly twisting behavior is right in line with the way you described her in chapter one, and now again here with the words “mellow, uncaring, and nonchalant.” The line in this chapter that struck me the most was: “He chose to go to her because he was certain he didn’t want to be on her bad side.” It is evident that their relationship, however brief and unplanned, has certainly matured, if not deepened somewhat. Definitely a great chapter full of characterizations, emotional dialogues, and powerfully descriptive words! Keep up the great work Mandy! ;-) MattAuthor's Response: Matt ~ Thank you so very much! I’m honestly glad you’ve found it in your heart to continue on with this piece…it’s just so different from what I’m familiar I can’t justify recommending it to anyone. Ah yes the dreaded moment when Harry sees the letter – I played that scene out over and over in my mind…reacting how Harry would and I finally settled on his swinging away from her again and thinking she’s after him. He’s so edge-y throughout book five and this revelation would not sit well with the already bubbling vat of instability that Harry is. A fun look at Harry’s psyche. Kiden is very defiant and obstinate – almost a mirror of Harry…only Kiden is much more vocal and reactive to these traits where Harry (those sometimes displays them) is less prone to brush off *everything*. Harry sees that he has something to loose, namely his Hogwarts education and friends from Hogwarts where Kiden doesn’t have the same sense of connection. Though both are willing to prove their distaste for that which they don’t like. I had to comment about the underage smoking bit that you mentioned – I took this piece down originally because I was worried about the way it looked in the story (though it isn’t glorified I thought it was toeing the line of the rules). I edited it out and for some reason Kiden looses something when I subtract that character trait…I don’t know why but it says something about the person that she is and demonstrates it better than paragraphs and paragraphs of description could do. Thank you for the brilliant review. I so appreciate it. ~Mandy Report Review
Hey Mandy, I have begun the endeavor that will take me around your marvelous world of thoughts and emotions and to the heart of your incredible inventive genius ... so get ready! =)) Remember when I exclaimed that your fiction reminded me of Mark Twain? Yet again, I sense the same descriptive power displayed in your writing of “Hand Me Down Dreams” — and now it is splendidly crafted with that wonderfully astute sense of emotional drama only *you’re* good at writing! I think that perhaps this is the first scene between a Mark Twain Huckleberry Finn or Tom Sawyer and the beautiful, blonde-haired girl in his dreams. I absolutely admire your style of writing, Mandy, and the prospect of reading more of these characters that are so opposite and yet so familiar, simply makes me giddy — after all, maybe the deeper familiarity Harry feels towards Kiden is that in many ways he’s exactly like her, and he too has felt and experienced the same sorrow and anguish as her. Finally, I think she may be that reminder to him of the pains of the real world, of living without ever having known your real family, and being forced to adhere to a completely new and antagonistic world (your idea of the "Dulleys"). Kiden’s rebellion is both justly motivated and sincere, and the fact she has taken up smoking, in many respects, has already tinged the chords of her fruitful life, making her all that more dark and mysterious in Harry’s eyes. Still, as I believe you depicted it, his fascination with her is both emotional (stemming from a rueful attitude of commiseration and pity), and a more animalistic, perhaps sexual feeling (he is upset, angry, and unsure of his emotional boundaries right now); these are both ideas that would nonetheless add more depth to this strange pairing, and understanding them better will render this story all that more interesting! But I’m afraid I’ve already gotten ahead of myself!! ;-)) Mandy, another awesome story, one I will definitely read in its entirety! MattAuthor's Response: Matt! We cross paths again and, as always, I’m delighted to find you here. I smile every time you compare me to Twain (and for that every time you bless me with a review. And I think I’m ready for your endeavor ;-). I do remember the last time you mentioned it. I find Twain’s descriptions, though sometimes lengthy and wordy, extremely well (verbally) painted – so it is an enormous compliment. I genuinely *like* this piece because it was extremely difficult for me to write and I’m pleased with the atmosphere. Usually if I step outside of my comfort zone I find that my writing comes out practiced and false – it’s dry and forced…and though I can see it in this piece I can still not see it too. I get really wordy when I get uncomfortable with the characters…I make up with the lack characters (and dialogue) with lots of random descriptions – I avoided it in this piece. I’m uncomfortable with trio era – really really uncomfortable. It’s so defined that I feel like I have no artistic license and Harry eludes me – I have real difficulty wrangling him. I researched when I wrote this, the books were at my side the whole time. I didn’t want to slaughter his character – I am canon that way…with all the mains. This was my first attempt at really (acknowledged) AU. I acknowledge that this could NEVER happen and be conducive with canon…as where I prefer to write with the thought ticking the back of my mind that “This *could* happen”. However, Kiden flows naturally from my mind to the written word…and I enjoy the bizarre non-verbal agreement Harry and Kiden have. She’s not that innocent little girl from Velvet Lies anymore, Lilah couldn’t protect her all that time, and now she’s an angry (biological) family-less teenager with a bad attitude. She seems real, she’s raw, and there’s no idealization in her – it makes her sort of prickly, like she rubs you the wrong way…and I really like that for some reason. I had this piece up, I took it down, put it up, and took it down again – lol, I really couldn’t make up my mind with it. It’s dark for me, the characters aren’t exactly lovable – again something I like about it – but most of all I like it because I feel like I succeeded as it isn’t my normal style at all and allows me to break from my mold, if just for a few moments. Thank you so much for the support Matt, as previously your words move me. ~Mandy Report Review
OMG. That is a good story. Where did you come up with that? But why did you leave the ending like that. Are you finished with any other chapters? I have finished reading chapter three. Please send me a copy of the next chapters @ Christine2188@hotmail.com. Under subjust just write Kiden and Harry.
Thanks Author's Response: You are very kind! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it. The idea spawned randomly, I have no explanation as to where it came from. A little I was inspired by the comic Kiden is in. The ending is not complete. I will be adding more to this piece. I don't have the next chapter complete yet, I have a good deal of it. As soon as I update I will e-mail you if you'd like. Thank you for reading and reviewing...I'm very glad that you liked it! Report Review
Great story, you do great work! ^_^
But I do have a question, about Marvel. Which of their comics is the pictured Kiden from? If you don't know it's ok, though. Thanks!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like my work. Sure Kiden is from NYX, the character in the story is loosly based on the character of the same name from that comic (in fact I borrowed plot elements from NYX for Kiden's abilities - hence the credit :-). I would highly recommend checking it out, NYX is a great book...a bit graphic but wonderful none the less. Report Review
Good story ^_^Author's Response: Thank you very much. I hope to be updating it soon. :-) Report Review
This is a great story. You really should finish it!!!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the kind review. I really appreciate it. I plan on adding some more to this very soon. Again, thank you! Report Review
plz add on this is really interestingAuthor's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I hope to have more up very soon! Again, thank you! Report Review
Oh wow. Damn I'm really excited now. Its an amazing story! More I need more..hehehe. Ok I'll stop . But wow! Please write more soon because I just spent the last half hour getting addicted! Author's Response: Awww, you are too kind! I hope to have some more of this up really soon! I'm so delighted to hear that you enjoyed this enought to be addicted. :-) That makes me very pleased. I hope you will enjoy what is to come. Thank you for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it! Report Review
I like it. Kiden Malfoy?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Draco's sister? Plz FINISH SOON!!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing...I really appreciate it! Kiden is a Malfoy, yes; she is not Draco's sister...soon it will make sense - I promise! I really appreciate your words...I hope you enjoy furture chapters! Report Review
Wow Jo..great addition. I love how Harry thought she'd be expelled from a Muggle high school by using magic. I was a bit shocked by her age. Only 14. But it adds to her character. Speaking of character, I can completely see shreds of all your past characters in her, except, you're right, Sunny is absent. (She was my favourite..) As for you taking a trip back in time to re-read old classics, I'd have to argue with you on two counts. Stay Gold is much more than decent, and Dark Sunshine is FAR from a great story. But I'll e-mail you about that. I shouldn't really be putting it in a review. But as I was saying, great beginning! Can't wait to see how it shapes up. Oh, and it so sad to think that Jane was married to a Malfoy. Keep writing..=)
MagsAuthor's Response: Mags! Thank you! Yeppers, only a tender age of 14 - Kiden is a distraught little girl. Keep in mind that Jane might not have married a Malfoy. *wink* I have big, fun plans for this story; I hope I don't let it fall to the side like I have a habit of doing so often. :-( Again, thank you for the hasty read and review...I'm so glad you like it so far! You're awesome! Report Review
interesting plot and I looove the title ^^ great job, I suggest that you keep writing, the more u write the better u get. Author's Response: Thank you so much. I am fond of the title too. :-) I really appreciate your words of encouragement. Also thank you for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
Great start. So does this story overlap Velvet Lies? I was trying to figure it out. Like who Kidens parents are. Why Harry thinks shes familiar..stuff like that. Plus it's sad to think that "Jane Smith" dies. I'm assuming she's tied in with the Malfoys. Or is she just a Muggle. Keep writing..=)
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes it does overlap Velvet Lies, totally. I was hoping to wait and post this until after I was done with Velvet LIes; however, I wrote this a while ago, picked it up again and was decided I liked it. I also wrote Velvet Lies a good deal of time ago...I just happened by them and decided to ride with them again. I guess I was inspired. Have no fear, you will learn more about Kiden's heritage as she does...lol, understand she knows nothing. She doesn't really remember 'Jane' (a little bit of repression there) however I'll be addressing that some more soon - and she certainly doesn't remember the stories in fullness (like with her mother she only remembers piece that she hasn't tucked away in the far recesses of her mind). Anyhow, thank you! I so appreciate what you have to say. Report Review
sounds good, hope theres more soon!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm very glad you liked it. Will update soon. I appreciate your review. Report Review
nice opening and good layout - easy to read. will keep a lookout for next chapter :)Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad to hear that it was an easy read; I was hoping it would flow easily. I will be updating again soon. Again thank you for reading and reviewing - I really appreciate it! Report Review
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