{reviewid: 2226615, reviewer: 'Ydnas%20Odell'}
28th September 2009:
I like this a lot, there are a lot of really excellent lines, superb emotion and the dialogue is special. "Bring fruit." But the end feels forced and rushed, it might be better and seems truer to the spirit of the story to have Hermione be confused about her feelings toward Harry. It's not clear from his love line which type of love it is. Hermione could hope, but can't know. You might also have her be confused about her feelings toward Ron. Could she compare either feeling to how she felt about Victor? Also, the section on dreams is repetitive. Cut some of it. One way todo so, would be to let Hermione remember her own dreams and ponder how much worse they are than Harry's. This could also maybe give you a chance to explore for a line or two Hermione's relationship with Lavender and Parvati which is unexplored territory.
I think in general this is about 80 to 85% to being a special fic, because the characterizations are so right and draw you in. There is depth here, not just false emotion. What this needs then is about 5 more editing passes and an honest beta reader. This is like a under construction home that is going to be gorgeous, but still looks ugly because of the hole in the ewes. I can't wait until this is what it is going to be.
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{reviewid: 1434794, reviewer: 'Fuego'}
27th May 2007:
It's so cute!
Author's Response: Thanks!! :)
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{reviewid: 899866, reviewer: 'mbstargirl123'}
12th February 2006:
I, for one think that that is a very cute story!
Author's Response: thank you so much!
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{reviewid: 851929, reviewer: 'matew'}
10th January 2006:
it is very good consider witing another
Author's Response: thank you!
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{reviewid: 824940, reviewer: 'cycoducky'}
24th December 2005:
"wut do u think?" r u kidding!? I LOVE IT!
Author's Response: lol, thank you!
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{reviewid: 791441, reviewer: 'leo'}
30th November 2005:
more! was terrific!
Author's Response: thanks
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{reviewid: 787021, reviewer: 'victoria%20weasly'}
27th November 2005:
omg how sweet!!
Author's Response: thanks
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{reviewid: 785421, reviewer: 'HarryPotter%20Fan'}
26th November 2005:
Tina is totally wrong!!! that was a great story and so sweet! i luv reading romance fanfics once in a while, and it's really hard to find a good one. urs was awesome though, full of description, and such a sweet story overall!! i hope you keep writing!! wonderful job!!
Author's Response: Thanks! I really appriciate it!
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{reviewid: 784151, reviewer: 'tina'}
25th November 2005:
terrible.
Author's Response: if that's how u feel.
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{reviewid: 784023, reviewer: 'pirates3510'}
25th November 2005:
awwww, how sweet! i loved it!
Author's Response: thanks!
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{reviewid: 781334, reviewer: 'Isabella'}
23rd November 2005:
This is great! SO cute. Keep up the good work
Author's Response: Thanks!
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{reviewid: 779939, reviewer: 'Hermy1706'}
22nd November 2005:
Hola!! I haven't been checking up regularly lately, but I am happy to see yet another fine story of yours added to Fanfiction. As always please keep 'em coming as I enjoy reading them and never tire of the H/HR ship! :o)) Good to see you back, you have been missed!
Author's Response: Yay! Ur bak! I wondered where u gone off to! LOL! I'm glad you're bak as well! I missed u too! :)
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{reviewid: 779283, reviewer: 'micking'}
21st November 2005:
very good. very sweet. very romantic. would like to read more of your story. please continue. good job.
Author's Response: thanks
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{reviewid: 778965, reviewer: 'Paige'}
21st November 2005:
is this a one shot? Well if it isn't keep writing.
Author's Response: No it's not a one shot.
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{reviewid: 778636, reviewer: 'Trainee%20Auror'}
21st November 2005:
I thought it was so brilliant, I had to put it in my faves. I was so touched by it! Keep up the good work, mate!
Author's Response: Thanks...I've been meaning to put this one in. Glad u like it!
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{reviewid: 778299, reviewer: 'harrysgirl'}
21st November 2005:
i think this is a very good story!! i cant wait for the next chapter!!!!!! i hope its soon..
Author's Response: Oh...it's soon! I just need inspiration!
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{reviewid: 777349, reviewer: 'cclsf'}
20th November 2005:
that was really good!
it sounded really proffesional!
Author's Response: Thanks! I try to!
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{reviewid: 776880, reviewer: 'MagicKira'}
20th November 2005:
awwww... i loved it! please do continue it!
Author's Response: thanks!
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{reviewid: 776692, reviewer: 'PnutPotter'}
19th November 2005:
awesome! it totally rocked.
Author's Response: thanks!
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{reviewid: 776369, reviewer: 'jdmindlespcdrone'}
19th November 2005:
excellent story, i really hope you have more planned for it
Author's Response: thanx!
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