Happy Staff Appreciation Day! Wow, this was really, really great. So moving for so many different reasons. I loved how you used the fabric to move into a memory, it was wonderful. I also loved the characterizations: James pretending to know something about houses, Sirius and James' friendship, and so much more. I also really liked how you added the detail about Peter wearing the sweatshirt...clever. :) It was sad but just so fantastic! Report Review
That was so bittersweet! I truly love Remus - he's one of my favorite characters. And I did like the way you wrote him here, in the first person. You really captured the feelings of a stunned and broken man in the first part. And then the flashback. They were happy, but all wasn't perfect. And it made it so realistic. Of course, the shell in the "epilogue"
was a symbol. And it was nicely done.
I'm glad I read this.
-Anne, a Marauders Tribe's supporter, ;)Author's Response: WHAT? TRIBE MARAUDER? this is tribe dumbledore territory! :P
well, anyways, thanks so much for this very unexpected review! I'm glad you liked it, this is probably my favorite story of mine even though i'd never done first person POV before. the shell part per se was actually part of a quote we had to incorporate, but i came up with all the rest. :) thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
I really love the first-person look into Remus' mind, so you shouldn't apologize for your writing. His perspective of his friends was just as I'd imagined it, and I loved how he knew just what to do or not do to keep the peace. The little bit about Peter's sweatshirt was almost unbearable; knowing what was hidden beneath made me feel a little bit sick. I liked the role he played, though, and it was nice to see that you didn't ignore him. The way Remus envied Sirius and James' friendship is definitely something I can picture, but I can also see him letting it slide and being comfortable knowing that he did have people who loved him for him. James and Sirius were so endearing and in-character - perhaps a bit more mature than they were in our glimpses of them at school, but still with their egos and pranks.
There were a few minor grammar points to look out for, particularly those -ing verbs: ... Sirius bellowed, picking up one of the pillows with his fingertips and showed it to James, ... 'Picking' and 'showed' should be in the same form, so you could just switch over to 'showing' or you could change it a bit more - bellowed, who picked up... and showed it. I noticed that a few times.
I love the description of the lump of strange knowledge, and just the whole unsettled feeling about the couple just settling in (whoa, horrible pun). I wanted a bit more about Lily, since it was the memory of her that sparked the flashback, but I can see why you'd focus more on the relationships of the four friends. The shell analogy and description are just beautiful, though I sort of wanted a better tie-in from the flashback or the fabric.Author's Response: Wow such a long review! Today I actually think I should have tied Peter in a little bit more and better and I'm glad you liked Sirius and James in this. When I re-read it a while ago I wondered if it was good to have them be so very childish. The grammar thing is just... a hobby of mine so to speak, but I think I have actually reduced those. And my English teacher has always told me to cut down on the -ings. :) When I read the story again I realized that the Lily thing was tied quite weakly yeah, and the fabric flashback was actually intended to be so very subtle (the pillow on the couch :D). Thanks a lot for this review, I really appreciate that you took so much time and wrote such a detailed review!
xo Flissy Report Review
Aww that was so sad!! Thats not nice!! It was beautifully written Lisa, I can see why it is one of your favourites. I like Remus' personal parts, they are so sweet! Your horrible! You made me cry *sniff sniff* Lol :) x x x xAuthor's Response: yeah I know, isn't he just a cutie? :) thanks a lot for the review, I'm really glad you liked it! Report Review
Aww that was so sweet... poor Remus.
I loved it, it was really great :) ^^
*huggles* MarieAuthor's Response: hehe thanks, this is my favorite story. ^^ i'm glad you liked it! thanks a lot! Report Review
Wow that was really something. It was really sad but really beautiful too. I loved the bit about the shell. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: i'm glad you liked it! the bit about the shell is the quote i used, which was the challenge. ^^ thanks for the review, it means a lot! Report Review
Aww this was great Flis! I liked the contrast between the sadness of Remus in the present of the story, and the almost lighthearted-but-not-quite-carefree Remus in the memory. The ending with the shell was very poignant, I enjoyed this :-)Author's Response: hehe the shell was part of the challenge. someone else wrote it and i had to bring it in as a quote. but that's what my story developed from. i am delighted you liked it!!! and thanks for the lovely review Report Review
Flissy - you have again written a truly wonderful piece. You have captred the characterisations perfectly and drew me into the depths of the text creating more than a simple story. It is a story that is filled with deep emotion and I love it! Author's Response: thank you elfie, it means a lot to me to get such a nice review!! *huggles* you made me very very happy! Report Review
wow, very wow.
One moment please.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAuthor's Response: hehe thank you. thank you very much! *huggles* Report Review
...wow. this is absolutely wonderful. this is one of the best works i've written on here. the whole end with the shell analogy...simply amazing. you are truly talented. wonderful job.Author's Response: hehe, thank you... i must say i am very proud of what i made of the quote i was given... i actually tried to make it sound a little like a one shot i've read by melihobbit and i really hope i was able to bring over what i wanted to. i'm glad you enjoyed it so much and thanks for taking the time to review! Report Review
Tragic. This was such a tragic tale...I loved it! Remus is a difficult character to write emotional and you have done great with him. I loved the descriptions, you definetly have a gift for them. And , of course, I loved the tiny bits of Sirius in here. Great work!Author's Response: yay, thank you for the review! i'm glad i did remus so well... i find him very comfortable to write for me. i'm glad you liked it, and , of course, no remus without sirius!! ^^ Report Review
How lovely! I really enjoyed this, it gave me a sense of calm, and I really enjoyed it! You did a wonderful job!Author's Response: THANK YOU!!!!! gaaaah i'm so glad you liked it and left such a great review!.... this is great.... i like this story.... ^^ Report Review
I never imagined that such a beautifully well-written piece would come from that challenge. Needless to say, I am delighted that you took it up. Simply brilliant imagery and for your first Marauder fic.
♥ Well done.Author's Response: muaahaahaaaa *faints* OH MY GOSH! i feel so honored, i can't even begin to describe how much this review means to me! brilliant imagery? beautiful? Merlin, i feel so so so so so proud now ^^ wow, thank you for leaving this review! and i'm SO glad you liked it that much.... *faints again* Report Review
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