Reading Reviews for the present
  
2,152 Reviews Found

Review #1, by spinx (from ears ago) Bearing All

15th May 2017:
It's hard to believe this story was really written by you, timeturner, for a number of reasons, none of them too pleasant, I'm afraid.
I consider you one of the best writers out there, it's no understatement, that your stories were in great deal responsible for my own writing career. They inspired me for as long as ten years now, and even now, I still come back, and reread all of them at least twice a year - so it really pains me to say, that this one, is among your weakest entries yet.

To start of with the one thing bothering me more than anything else - Sirius. I know you like him, most of us do, and certainly, I find him as inetersting to read as anyone else out there, and still, you portray of him remains the non plus ultra, the one all other authors, including JKR herself need to take notes of. You describe him liek no other, you make him come alive with an ease I could never understand, and was always jealous of - but my prolem isn't the way you described him, but the role he plays in this specific story. I don't know if you notice it yourself, but your stories involving Sirius usually tend to be ALL around him, which, since most of them have him as the main character, is something to expect ---but the degree of that focus is too much. Even when he is not around, all of the other characters conversations revolve around him, they think about him, the women all pine him and even the men admire his appearance. You make him the center of the universe, and it shows, whether you actually intented for that or not. Not only do you often portray him as being smarter, but you also write him in a way, that each of his faults become, somehow heroic, on the other hand, you have other characters admit their own weakness, in conversations it's always Sirius who leads, and even then, they reach a point, where they comment on Sirius superiorit, be that morally, intellectually. He MUST always be right, and even on the occasions he isn't, you twist the conversations so that Sirius comes out on top.

In this one, that was done to such a degree, it made the whole story hard to follow. It's almost as though none of the other characters have a life of their own, each of their affairs is somehow mixed with Sirius, they all come to him for advice, they all "fall" under his charm, and even when away from him, they somehow end up talking about his greatnes.
It's rather annoying, to be honest. And it truly doesn't make for a believeable story.

Dilaogues are good usually, but they jump too often, or characters think too far ahead, you assume your readers to be able to follow jumps, which, even though it works in your other stories, doesn't work here, because the story is already to complicated, and underexplained as it is.

The other thing that didn't make any sense to me, was Sirius relationship with Hermione. NOt only did it literally happen out of the blue, but (IMO) you also failed to properly portray the reactions of the characters upon Serious sudden return. You go from one scene where he appears, to another, where he siimply accepts this. He is neither shocked at Hermiones grown-up looks, or anyody elses for that matter. None of them reacted the way one would under such circumstances. Sirius nature to simply accept things as they come, didn't do this justice either. YOu didn't go all out on this one.

Also, your treatment of Draco couldn't have been morenonchalant if your tried to. He seems to serve as nothing else but a plot device, but even then, your unfair mistreatment of him does make me wonder. As soon as Sirius enters the picture, all the other characters forget about him, even Juliette, a child he had helped raise, and, whom you write, he shares a great love for. And yet, she almost instantly prefers Sirius to him, for no other reason, but some stories uncle Remus has been telling.
Suddenly everyone rolls their eyes at Draco, not only do Hermione and Juliette not defend him anylonger, they also laugh at him at his own expense and jsut so to take part in Siriozs "jokes".

I could go on and on, but in all honesty, there is so much to reconsider here, that I have to wonder, how you ever released this in this form.

(I truly must apologize again! This must have been one of the hardest things I have written in years, but this story truly had me confused for so many years. I was debating whether to just keep my mouth shut about it or.well, I don't know. Still, you must know that it's only THIS story I have trouble enjoying.)

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Review #2, by dinthemidwest The Present

10th September 2016:
So well written! I was sad to see that Draco had to die, but
Sirius & Hermione make an excellent couple. This has to be
one of the best stories-incredible dialogue, story line , &
character development were all great! 10/10!!

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Review #3, by Dinthemidwest A Library of Sorts

9th September 2016:
This was one of the most unique & well-told chapters I've read in fan fiction... Wow... Their voices & emotions were perfectly crafted!

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Review #4, by Dinthemidwest To Win a Bet

8th September 2016:
Dialogue is just perfect!! Enjoyed the back & forth with Remus & Sitius!

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Review #5, by Dinthemidwest The Deal

7th September 2016:
Incredible chapter-glad I stopped to read this story!! These are some of favorite characters!

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Review #6, by riddle1rave The Present

28th December 2015:
This marks the third time I went through this beautiful, beautiful story. Eternally thankful for all the time you've spent on making it what it is- an absolute masterpeice. It shall always remain my favorite.

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Review #7, by Isabella The Present

8th December 2015:
I absolutely loved this entire story to the point where I've just read the whole thing in one approx. six hour sitting. But seriously, what happened to the baby?! Has it not been invited to the wedding? Has it not been born yet? Why is Hermione drinking if so? Gah!

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Review #8, by Jen The Present

27th October 2015:
That was such an amazing story -every single part of it!

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Review #9, by SL The Present

18th June 2015:
The story is quite engaging even though it is confusing.
I am sure many of the dialogues make perfect sense to the author, with the backstory clear in his/her mind. But many of the same dialgoues leave the rest of us second guessing what's going on. I guess it clear up at the end.

Having said that, it is still a good and unique story. Thanks!

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Review #10, by AlainaRoseMalfoy Bearing All

13th January 2015:
I am really upset about Draco, i mean he is my favorite person ever in fanfics. So this is hard that he died its really hard. But in the next chapter, you dont mention the baby at all like at all. Even though it was such a big deal that she was pregnant. And its confusing it doesn't really say how old any of them are like Juliette being 6 doesn't seem right at all. And idk how old Sirius and Hermione and Draco and all of them are its really confusing. The story is actually quite confusing. Don't get me wrong i loved this story to some extent. But i was really confused almost the whole time, there weren't a lot of details in anything like i was confused a lot. Like describing the locket, and Harry and Ginny and Ron dying i mean the details are just sorta off.

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Review #11, by AlainaRoseMalfoy The Present

13th January 2015:
What happened to the baby? Hermione was pregnant but you didn't say anything about it.

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Review #12, by CaptainLemon The Future

23rd December 2014:
Excellent. I read this some years ago and enjoyed it then too.

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Review #13, by Sonder An Old Mentor

2nd November 2013:
As much as I love this story. I cant help but notice a huge time discrepancy. First off it says that Sirius comes back after 10 years. Seeing as he died in the 5th book that would make Hermionie 15 at the time and 25 in present story line. However seeing that a picture of Harry as a 23 year old surfaced and Juliette being 6 would imply that Hermione is at least 29. Also in the chapter when Sirius is contemplating his thoughts it is mentioned that Hermionie and Draco have been involved for over a decade. And in earlier chapters it was written that Draco was there for Hermione when Harry and Ron died. So by that line of thinking she would have to be at least 33 years old, in turn making Juliette much older than 6 years. This realization took me out of the story a bit. Id like to hear your thoughts on that. Either way Im loving the direction you have been taking in regards to who survived and didnt also the relationships both past and present. Keep writing, its great stuff!

P.S In your mind how old is Sirius while all this is taking place? Obviously taking into account he didnt age the 10 years he was gone.

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Review #14, by typewriter The Past

17th July 2013:
Timeturner,

This locket business doesn't sound like it's going to end well to me! It sounds like things in Hermione's world are about to be shaken up. I do love what you did in this chapter though. I love that Juliette so wants her mother to be happy and doesn't care how she goes about making it happen. Remus' part in this chapter was heartbreaking, though. The fairy tale he told was tragic. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through life the way he has. I hope things start to look up for him!

~Amanda

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Review #15, by typewriter The Future

17th July 2013:
Timeturner,

This story is lovely. Though, I have to say I was surprised to hear that the child was Ron's when you described her as having brown hair and green eyes. In my opinion, that means that Harry was comforting Hermione in other ways than hugs. I like your Draco in this. I like how annoyed he gets at Hermione, but obviously has feelings for her. Your Hermione was very frustrating, but I love when characters are frustrating, because it means they aren't perfect. It was beautifully written and I can't wait for more!

~Amanda

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Review #16, by Jessie Existing

7th June 2013:
ok so i don't know if you still keep up on the reviews to this story. But it takes a lot to make me review something cause normally i just read to read and never review unless I absolutely love a story. So Thanks for being the first story in a long time that i LOVE after 5 chapters... :]

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Review #17, by Alena MacLean Manipulation

2nd April 2013:
I'm confused with the ages. How old is Sirius? How old is Hermione? It's a really good story.

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Review #18, by Gryffindor_Pheonix_Girl Manipulation

22nd February 2013:
Just amazing, wonderful! I can't wait to find out what's next.

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Review #19, by CathyPoter The Present

9th October 2012:
I loved your story and everything. But I am a little confused. If a Julliete made a wish for her mommy to be happy shouldn't have Harry appeared.? Cause it is pretty obvious that she loved him the most... After all she has a child with him... It confuses me why Sirius showed up, but it did make a story lovely... It's just I was confused by that... Btw.. You are an amazing writer.

xoxo. Cathy...

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Review #20, by Luckygurl102 The Present

10th August 2012:
"You and I?" he whispered reassuringly, the crooked grin that had welcomed him back from the veil so many months ago, sliding across his face, "weíll make the world jealous."
^^
One of the best quotes that I have ever come across in reading.

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Review #21, by Luckygurl102 Bearing All

10th August 2012:
I loved this part.
Broke my heart, but I loved it.
And the ending, about the sorting hat, was perfection!

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Review #22, by Luckygurl102 A Library of Sorts

9th August 2012:
I loved this, it's so perfect.
The magic, the reaction, the emotion- all of it is mind-bogglingly perfect.

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Review #23, by Luckygurl102 Protecting Draco

9th August 2012:
"Go to him," Sirius ordered quietly, "before I donít let you."
^^
Best sentence ever.

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Review #24, by Luckygurl102 That Time of the Month

9th August 2012:
Ah. This chapter has me in giggles every time.
Perfection!!!

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Review #25, by Luckygurl102 Tortured Thoughts

9th August 2012:
I loved the ending.
Just perfection.

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