Great plot and well written. I laughed out loud when Sirius was threatening his chess pieces. In all the story is rather gloomy but very emotional. You describe well the "things" that the character sees around him and make your story quite picturesque. I liked it a lot :)

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awwh, it was beautifully written.
10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much:) I'm so happy you liked it (blushes...). And I usually get so few reviews, that every review feels like christmas had come early, so I'm just over the moon now.

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I really enjoyed the plot line of this story. But I have a few suggestions for you. You should go back and re-read your story a few times. There are a few paragraphs that are somewhat choppy. They are great sentences but they don't have something to make them flow to each other. Read it over and you'll see what I mean. There are also a few grammar mistakes that can be fixed as well. Okay that was my constructive criticism. I hope it didn't come off too harsh! Now, let me praise... I love the descriptions you have in this story. I could always picture what was happening in my mind, which is a hard thing to accomplish when writing a fic. You dug up some deep emotions within Sirius,which is a difficult thing to do since we know so little about him. I don't want you to think that my criticisms mean I didn't enjoy it, because I really did. You, no doubt, have a talent for writing and I look forward to reading more from you. Thanks for inviting me to read it. =)

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing! You're not too harsh at all, I really appreciate your advice and will try to pay more attention to those paragraphs. :)

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i like it its good

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing :) Glad that you liked it :)

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... wow. I am a sucker for emotional stories, and I was almost in tears by the end of this. Then again I am a very emotional person. I loved that, it was so sweet.

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing ! :) I'm so glad that someone liked my story (bounces up and down in joy...), because it didn't do well at all in the writers duel.

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