Fantastic. I love this story, especially the ending: "Toujours Pur." Well done. Report Review
Interesting plot bunny; I like your setting. It was good well done :)Author's Response: thanks, glad you liked it! Report Review
COOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought at first you were talking about Harry (at 17) killing Voldemort, but..oh...JAMES & LILY were killed, and the Boy Who Lived....(just a lot of babbling from me. Ignore it.) So, Narcissa's account. Really firsthand. I love it!Author's Response: thanks! Report Review
The flow was nicely done! Very good take on Mrs. Black. Well-done!Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. =) Report Review
you make me look at Purebloods in a new way in this fic. I always thought of them as stuck-up, evil, etc. But in this story you've shown that they're just people acting in the way that their family has taught them. They're really just normal people following family tradition. Purebloods have feelings too ! :)Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad my fic helped you see these people in a new light. Not that I support views like that or anything... but there is a big difference between just being brainwashed (as most of these people are) and actually being evil. =) Report Review
Excellent. I admire your choices of powerful descriptive words. Keep up the great work.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it. =) Report Review
Very good characterization! Your story was realistic and engaging but most of all, very impressive for a first 'one-shot'.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you liked it. =) Report Review
I like this, but this story and 'From Prince to Prat' both need spaces inbetween the lines of dialogue to make it easier to read, in my opinion. I've never read any stories about Death Eaters hearing the news about Voldemort, so good job on the idea! Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you liked the story. About the dialogue spacing, these are my earlier stories, and I've been meaning to go back and fix that for a while, I just haven't had the time. Report Review
oh ok the Kreature thing is better now that you have a reason. and you are right about winkey, although she doesnt seem as devoted to the family values as Kreature is, but then he is a little insane from being alone with Mrs Black for so long. mmm... i should get back to reading Reggie :)Author's Response: Glad it makes more sense now. =) Report Review
Another day, another review. i liked this one too. Mrs Balck came across just as she should; pompus and arragant, with a huge dolop of pride.
i loved the way she called everyone by their last name ie Mrs Malfoy, even though they are her nieces, i thought that was perfectly in chacter.
just a little thing, i got the impression from the books that the two Black families didn't see much of each other, and indeed i cant see Bella wanting to be around someone that raised a blood traitor. Although Mrs Black does seem discusted enough with Sirius to discount this.
I also got the idea that Kreature was very close to his mistress, perhaps not to the level of equals cause that would go against Mrs Black's charcter, i just think she was a little kinder to him than we all think. i mean all house elevs talk about their masters in good terms but Kreature seems to worship her, and i got the idea that might have come from her treatment of him when she was alive.
other than that it was quite wonderfull. :)Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Mel! I'm glad you liked the way Mrs. Black referred to her nieces. As for the two families not seeing each other much, I really have no idea. I think it could go either way. They actually don't see each other much in my other two stories, but here, there wouldn't have been a story if they weren't close. And considering how much Kreacher adores both Bella and Mrs. Black, I think it's believable. About Kreacher - I think Winky worships the Crouch family just as much, but I also think that Kreacher enjoys the torture more than most, for reasons I won't put here, cause it'll spoil the ending to my Regulus fic. =) Report Review
Very cool. Actually, I say this a lot, but it was a really interesting insight. And I liked how you incoporated the words in the challange! :) The only think I have to offer, is that you may want to leave spaces between each line of dialogue - it makes it easier to read! :) Well Done!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I wasn't originally planning on entering the contest at all, but then I saw those four words, and they somehow screamed "Mrs. Black" to me in a sudden flash of inspiration... so there you go. =) About the dialogue spacing: I'll go back and fix it as soon as I have time. Report Review
Well now this is a refreshingly different view and perspective to take on the potters' death. I reall ylike how you twist expectations of readers.I am pleased to say I have some criticism! This may not be overjoyful to you, but your other fic put me out of sorts by being pretty much perfect :P. You have one grammatical mistake To accomplish this. Muggle adults strung cotton fluff I htink you meant to hit the comma button but pressed the full stop instead. Infinitely tiny mistake, but I had to find something :D. Also, I have a problem with your paragraphing. Why do you only double paragraph that which is not dialogue? I find it odd that there isn't the extra space between the speech, but there is everywhere else. I suppose it is quite easy to read as it's obvious when the line ends, but I think it looks neater if it's consistent throughout. perhaps this is just personal preference though.Now my absolute favourte line was It had been completely shocking to hear Mrs. Lestrange describe the monstrous atrocities which they repeatedly committed. So perfectly ironic, and I actually snorted in disbelief when I read it (probably not the most attractive thing to be doing, but who's watching? :D).Your characterisation skills are really great, and I could completely believe that this was Mrs Black talking. She's so like her her picture, and I particularly liked the bit about her where she thought The days had gotten dreadfully boring without him around to nag and harass. :D, it just made me smile, and I felt it was probably truly how she would feel. The interaction between her and Narcissa is also really great, and you write te two wonderfully.Lastly, I really like how you've written parallels between what's written here and what's written in PS. I was ccompletely reminded of McGonagall telling asking Dumbledore about the Potters etc. outside the Dursleys'. Even though it's the complete opposite reaction to the news, I just like the similarities that are stil there. Another really well written piece here, great job :)Author's Response: Thanks for another great review! And don't worry, I love getting criticisms. =) About the line spacing thing, this was my first one-shot, so I didn't really know how to space things properly, and while I've spaced the dialogue in my later fics, I've been too lazy to go back and edit this... I suppose I should though. Anyway, glad you liked my characterization and such, and thanks again for the review! Report Review
First off, the opening is wonderful. I loved the atmosphere you gave to start us off. I love that you’ve given insight into a lesser character. You’ve pegged her characterization and internal thoughts very very well. I’ve never read a fic specifically on her and you’ve done a great great job with this. Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed this fic. I love writing about lesser characters - it gives me much more room to be creative. =) Report Review
Although I'm not that big of a fan of Mrs. Black fics, that was good. I think that Mrs. Black should have been a little more believing, but that is probabaly just one of her worst traits. I thought it had a good storyline and a great descriptive edge,Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm not exactly sure what you meant by "more believing" though. Oh well, glad you liked it. Report Review
Alright, I am finally here after much delay. The holidays have been keeping me busy. I promise that these reviews will be more regular come January ^_^
First – let me say again how much I absolutely adore your descriptions. You have such a talent there that I can’t even begin to put to words. You paint each scene thoroughly and really bring it all to life in that way without going on in rambling prose. The opening of this story was the perfect example of how well you place the readers into a setting, and it is quite possibly one of my favorite openings in fafiction.
You captured, again, the essence of the ‘Black’ mindset, the pureblood mindset. A lot of people can only tap into that by showing it through more of an outside perspective, but here you’ve managed to take us in on a very personal level. Just that one line about not having a first name because they are unimportant to social status was the pinnacle of everything you’ve shown us here. Over and over you drill in that ‘Black’ title and it doing that you make the reader realize how extreme this woman, this mindset is.
Honestly, I am delighted to find someone that can show that so well, because it is often something that is misrepresented.
I loved the interaction between Mrs. Black and Narcissa. You put Mrs. Black in a very calm, controlled role that only amplified everything you’ve already shown us of her character. The last line of this story sent a chill up my spine – I don’t know why, I can’t fully explain it, but I loved it, I really did. Author's Response: Wow, Crystal, your review totally made my day as always. Thanks so much! You've totally restored my confidence in this fic - it's not nearly as popular as From Prince to Prat, or even Desire and Duty, so it's really nice to get so many compliments on it. Especially that comment about the opening - so flattering. =) I'm glad you liked my portrayal of Mrs. Black - some people find it hard to read about such a unlikeable character. But she was really fun to write. Thanks again for the wonderful review! Report Review
The description of the aging Mrs. Black was nice. Also the idea of how only surnames mattered because your surname ranked you in the Wizarding World. I just think you went a little too far with the idea of the surnames when you kept referring to Bellatrix as Mrs. Lestrange and Narcissa as Mrs. Malfoy. I enjoyed reading Mrs. Black's disdain at the Muggles idea of Halloween. It certainly fits her character. Narcissa's outburst about the Dark Lord and Mrs. Black's disbelief was nicely done as well. Narcissa seemed unbelievably upset. I just can't picture her being so emotional, shrieking about not being able to support Draco. I don't see why she wouldn't be able to. If Lucius was dead, he certainly would have left money for his family and Narcissa's a Black. Money shouldn't be a problem. She also has house elves that can help her take care of Draco. She comes from a respectable family with enough money to sustain herself and Draco so I'm not sure I believe her outburst about that. The last two lines were done well, how the two women turn to the phrase that will always follow them and ensure that their status will always be known: Toujours Pur. Overall, not bad, but there's room for improvement.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the detailed review! I have no idea why I didn't realize that Narcissa would have plenty of money, and now that you mention it, I'm surprised no one else pointed it out first. Thanks so much for all the constructive criticisms! =) Report Review
I saw absolutely NO flaws in this. It very detailed and flowed very nicely.But, do you think Narcissa would really call Mrs.Black "Auntie"? I don't know. But like I said, no flaws here!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
Amazing job. This was chilling in some weird way... especially the end. It knd of gives you a new perspective, of people grieving Voldemort's downfall, and how their lives really were built up on the pureblood ranking and power. The "Toujours Pur" part at the end really was telling on how important that was, and how Mrs. Black went on about how she had not one drop of non-magical blood. They're so obsessed. You used the words you had to with such grace, as a matter of fact, when they could have spoilt a story, and they fit with the flow. The perception of Muggle halloween was very characteristic. You painted an amazing picture in my mind. I liked how Mrs. Black didn't know James' name when Sirius' best friend was James. That really gave insight into that relationship, too. I'm so amazed at this story. Good job, and keep writing.Author's Response: Thank you SO much for leaving such a wonderful review! It made me so happy... =) This story is creepy, weird, and different, and all I can really say is I'm ecstatic that you liked it so much. Thanks again for the great review. =) Report Review
A very interesting perspective of the dark side but also a wonderfully intriguing glimpse at a character that we know very little about. Brilliant work!Author's Response: Thanks! I do love writing about minor characters, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
This was great! I especially loved your discription of Mrs. Black. It was so vivid, I could picture her perfectly. I thought her belief that given names were not important was very interesting. I thought Narcissa was wonderful! Her panic for her husband and fear that she could not support her son made her very real. I enjoyed this story a lot!Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the part about first names - I just love throwing in random little twists like that, lol. And I really appreciate your comments about Narcissa - I was a little worried as to whether or not she was believable. Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
Very well written! I enjoyed this story a lot! And great idea for the plot!Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! =) Report Review
ooh, morbid, me likey. Very good characterization! I like it!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I do like writing about unpopular characters, and it's nice to know that people like to read about them too! =) Report Review
Oh Wow! (Tee Hee, insightful comment, what?) That was wonderful. I can see the similarities to my 'Percy' in the beginning paragraphs...with the internal thoughts, but this has much more 'meat' on it's bones. I do know, however, that the line: "the many folds of her chin drooped lethargically" will stay with me forever! What a wonderful mastery and playfullness with words you show.Author's Response: Thanks, Jacki! =) I did find it strikingly similar to your Percy fic, lol. Percy and Mrs. Black - not exactly characters you compare everyday, eh? This story was quite a stretch for me - mostly just getting the word count above 2000 so I could submit it for the Writer's Duel. Anyway, glad you liked both content and style so much. =) Report Review
Very well written! I love your style of writing; it's very descriptive. ^^ Excellent job!Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it! =) Report Review
Creepy and despicable! I love it! Mrs. Black is so old school. Good work.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I do enjoy writing about the less likeable characters in the HP world, especially ones that aren't written about often, and it's nice to see that someone enjoys reading it. =) Report Review
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