Ah! absolutely loved it! It needs a sequel!! please make a sequel :)
xxx Report Review
wow. that was really nice. so different from the usual sirius/oc stories. and such a great idea too! you might be able to edit it to make it a bit better, but i think overall you did a great job. your story was like a breath of fresh air. as corny as that may sound. Report Review
What a bittersweet end! I'm glad that Lilah thought out all of her plan, and it's sort of good to know that he didn't get the letter; it'd be horrible to think that he did but he didn't get a chance to see her. You've written this in such a way that I don't feel like I'm reading about an OC, and it actually feels like this could've happened - no matter how fluffy or cliched the idea might be that Sirius left behind a wife. I think you ended it just right; it felt sort of like a sweeping shot at the end of a film, touching on one last little detail before fading to black. Report Review
This was a really pretty chapter, if that makes sense - the imagery was deeper and the descriptions seemed to flow more naturally. I really liked the thought process of deciding who her lie would incriminate, as it sounded very Malfoyish; on the other hand, I like that she respected Sirius and decided not to stay with her family. The return of the Light of Lorence was a nice touch to tie the chapters together. I was wondering where Lilah went after she ran? Maybe it was mentioned but I've already forgotten. It's not important, but when I hear about a character running away I always think of America ... Report Review
I love their rashness - it certainly fits in with the anxious times we know existed before the Potters were killed. The description of her drunken state is, somehow, just lovely, and I especially liked the line With the bottle in one hand and conviction in her mind ... It sort of balances out, and I really admire the juxtaposition of that and the chapter as a whole. In the last line you use the word 'severed' when I'm pretty sure you mean 'served,' but other than that this chapter was really good; it was more serious and more fluffy than the others, in a way. Report Review
Oh goodness, fluff attack! I loved the massive paragraph about the prejudices Mrs. Black ingrained in her, since I can definitely see that Lilah would have no reason to doubt her. The line 'guilt stains' really struck me in a good sort of way that I can't describe. At this point, though, hadn't Sirius been blasted off the tapestry? Wouldn't his mother refuse to let him come? Report Review
I can't say I was surprised since I have a nasty habit of reading reviews and finding out the twists and turns of a story before I start, but that's sort of the reason that I wanted to read in the first place. I really like the lack of chronology in your writing, since you let it flow in the way that best tells the story. I bet Lilah and Sirius both enjoyed taunting each other when other people were around - but, obviously, it can't last long. I think it's sort of weird for Sirius to sign his name to the note, if they both know who it's from/to, unless it was more of a pride thing? Report Review
It seems unlikely that they'd be in bed by 10:30 (remember all the times Harry had difficulty getting the common room to himself?), but I guess it works for the story. I was in a mood for a fluffy romance, so I'm glad I chose to read this. It seems like there must be more to the story than meets the eye, since it's going a little bit too smoothly for the pair of them. Report Review
Kiden + white blonde hair = suspicious. I like the relationship Lilah has with her brother, and I'm glad that she's not too resistant to Malfoy tradition; we don't want a Mary Sue on our hands. Maybe it's because I'm in love with commas, but some of the dialog feels like it needs a few more: I'd put one after 'on' in "Come on Lilah," because when directly referring to a person I think commas couch the name well. Report Review
Kiden sounds so cute! I really love the description of her looking out of her window. I like Lilah's relationship with her friends and the little hierarchy they have going; her nicknames are interesting, too. Sirius' pride sounds spot-on. I noticed that you used 'loose' (not tight) instead of 'lose' (not win) a few times, but other than that the mechanics were fine. Report Review
Please please please write a sequel:) Please? I would love to read about Kiden at Hogwarts. You can't just leave me here, when I'm totally in love with that little girl!
I loved this story, I really did. nd the fact that Sirius didn't get the letter was terribly sad, but somehow felt right.
A wonderful story, thanks for writing it;) And please write a sequel! Report Review
Mandy... You've made me cry! Oh, this was unbelievably wonderful- amazing! But so sad... I cannot believe... *sigh*
Jessi was right, this is amazing- everything about it was fantastic, and I hope you know it. I'm so thrilled that you chose to share this plot bunny with us. Thank you, dearest! I can't wait to read more of your work in the future.
I love them together! :P Report Review
Oh! The dialogue in this chapter especially was exceptionally fantastic! I love that we're seeing both past and present realities for Lilah, showing us how their relationship has changed, but in certain aspects, remained all the same. I can't wait to see this Christmas though. *shakes head* Should be interesting!
~C/PH1 Report Review
I had to stop and leave you a quick review to praise your genius before rushing along to chapter 4. I can't decide who I'm falling more in love with- Sirius, Kiden, Lilah... or you for writing this! :D
~C/PH1 Report Review
Oh my- Joela, what a brilliantly written chapter! Kiden is, without a doubt, the most adorable thing I've read in ages. Truly! And Jane... hmmm, my curiousty is piqued, but I'll save my suspiscions for later. :)
Wonderful as always, dear!
~C/PH! Report Review
Jessi has been telling me to get over here and read this. And I quote her: "Courtney, Velvet Lies is AMAZING! You must go read it!"
I never doubted it for a moment, but feel the need to tell you she was 100% correct. This is amazing so far! I can't wait to read on and see what else you have in store for us. Miss you, dearest!
~C/PH1 Report Review
oh that's so sad, sirius thinkig she's dead, Kiden too, oh so sad, but she's not so I'm off to read the sequal Author's Response: I can't even believe I was able to write such a sad ended story! I think I've successfully done what I want to - which was make a sad story. Shame on me for wanting to but I enjoyed it very much along the way. Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
Awww... sad ending.... no really happily ever after... Darn those mean Azkaban people! He should've given Sirius the letter! Nicely written, although I always love a nice happily ever after fairytale type of ending. Atleast Kiden is okay, although I'd say that three hearts were broken in this ending. =) Very well written though, and I enjoyed it. ~MarieAuthor's Response: Oh my gosh! Exactly! Three hearts were broken - that's exactly the point! I like happy ending stories too (lol, that's why I had to write a sequel, I can't just leave it alone...can I?) Thank you so much for the brillant review. Most of all I wanted this piece to fit with canon, and I like to think, as it is, it fits with canon. :) Thanks again, so much, for the awesome review! Report Review
Wow. Great story. I loved everything about it. Lilah's friendship with Nott was portrayed well - the political aspects, as well as the relational side. The ending was wonderful, tying up all loose ends and making the story essentially fitting in canon. Great job. :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your support of this story delta! I'm glad you enjoyed the ending. It was completely my intention to make this story to be possible with canon facts. I love toying with the prestige and political (as well as diplomatic) ties with the purebloods and such - I'm gald you saw what I was point at there. Again, thank you so much for the amazing reviews and support of this story! Report Review
Excellent style of writing!I just loved the story.Very intersting and unique!Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It seems I can never write anything linearly *hehe* I'm always toying with perspective and such. Report Review
Oh my, Mandy - I actually got chills with that last chapter! It was not only well written, but the description was the best you've had yet and the thought behind it is awe-inspiring. What a wonderful (and sad) way to end this story and I cannot wait to read the sequel. If it's half as good as this, you'll have me hooked on the first chapter! *huggle* ~JessiAuthor's Response: Jessi! You're so awesome! Thank so much for kicking me in the butt to finish this piece. Seriously, it's been living in my head for so long and I had a little stack of notes sitting on my desk for like the last two months that I just needed to actually sit down and write the darn thing. I'm so glad you enjoyed it - I'm not much of a sad ending kind of person but I really wanted this story to be able to fit with canon. (To be honest I considered a two part ending, like you pick with you like *hehe* so I could have my happy ending too.) Ooo, if you do read Hand me Down Dreams I hope you like it. It's a bit different than this in that it's kind of dark and wry - but hey what do you expect from Sirius's offspring... :-) Report Review
I found this and thought it was interesting, so I read chappy's 1-8 just now and . . . wow! I loved it! So, i went in and found Hand Me Down Dreams(which is a great title by the way.) I just read chappy's 1-3 of it. I really really really want you to continue Hand Me Down Dreams! It is really good and you left it at such a crucial part! I love it and would be really happy if you continued it. Please update! 10/10 for everything!!!! cheers! Kiss Kiss ^_^ EMBRACE THE FREAKDOM!!!Author's Response: Thank you so much Crazy One! I'm so glad you enjoyed this story, and Hand Me Down Dreams (I thought it was a clever little title :) I do plan on adding more to that piece, it's a little darker than I usually write but I enjoy it very much. I like Kiden and her bad teenage attitude. :) I've been torn on which way to take that story. However I'm fairly certain what I want for the next chapter so hopefully soon I'll get it up - but I promise I haven't given up on that story; in fact, I'm even more encouraged to write on it now. Thank you again for reading and taking the time to review! :) Report Review
I want to hug Sirius! Poor old fella. Lovely ending, I do want to hear about Kiden Malfoy Black Travis. Poor Kid has a really long name =]
Lovely! Stellar. Amazzzing.
-sarahAuthor's Response: *lol* She does have a long name. However in Hand Me Down Dreams she's only Malfoy. Kidden Malfoy - but that has to do a lot with her not knowing her history. Whew a whole other story. :) I'm gald you enjoyed this story, and I do feel sorry for Sirius...if only he'd gotten the letter...if only... :( Report Review
Wonderful wonderful wonderful ending. Wow. You are so incredibly talented. It reminds me a little of Romeo and Juliet because of the letter situation and all. Are you planning to writing a sequel? ..It just seems as if you set it up for one. Anyways, great job on the whole story. Hope to read more of your work. Author's Response: *blush* Thank you so very much for the amazing review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I actually do have a sequel to this piece, it's already avaliable for reading - it's called 'Hand Me Down Dreams'. It picks up when Kiden is 14 and her foster parents are seeking out her father to have rights signed over to them so they can adopt her. It's a bit darker than this piece as Kiden is a bit of a handful at 14. :) Again thank you so much for checking this little piece out and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :) Report Review
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