Reading Reviews for What is meant to be, will be
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by fangirl What is meant to be, will be

22nd July 2003:
It is good, continue the story please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Review #2, by hpgirl What is meant to be, will be

22nd July 2003:
WILL U PLEASE CONTINUE THE STORY ASAP!

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Review #3, by ginnymalfoy What is meant to be, will be

1st July 2003:
i luved it write more

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Review #4, by Vella What is meant to be, will be

5th June 2003:
Thats a good start! Please write more the whole History will repeat it\'s self is bugging me (that means it\'s good)!

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Review #5, by Xanidu What is meant to be, will be

5th June 2003:
You have a good premis for a plot, but your writing is a bit stiff and formal which makes it difficult to read. Instead of narrating everything, show us things through action, description and dialogue. As an example, the scene in the bookstore begins: \"As they opened the door they could barely see through the masses of people rushing about buying last minute supplies. Harry and Ron slowly made their way through the people trying to spot Hermione anywhere when they heard voices from the balcony above, both looked up. There on the balcony stood Draco Malfoy with his two enforcers Crabbe and Goyle and the seemed to have Hermione trapped in a corner.\" Instead, describe it with more action and description, for example \"Opening the door to the bookstore, Harry and Ron were surprised at the sheer mass of bodies inside. \"How are we going to find Hermione in all this?\" Ron moaned, easing his way inside. \"Don\'t know,\" Harry responded, but don\'t just stand there.\" Pushing Ron forward, Harry started to snake his way through the crowd.\" Right here I would add a dialogue of some sort, something Draco says, and then have Harry and Ron look up at the sound of Draco\'s voice and then keep going with what you wrote, \"Hermione however looked anything but scared. Her head held high, her hands on her hips and a fiery look in her eye Hermione seemed to be doing just fine standing up for herself to the goons (I really liket his description, I can see Hermione standing up to them, very nice!), but Harry and Ron thought it better to go help her before something bad happened (now here, instead of telling us that Harry and Ron decided to go help her, show us...\"Harry and Ron looked at each other and nodded in agreement, as smart and brave as Hermione was, she was no match for Crabbe and Goyle physically. They grabbed their wands and started up the stairs.\" Break up your narrative with dialogue and once again description. By the way, I like your dialogue, very realistic! I hope I wasn\'t imposing too much by adding examples! You have the mechanics down, you just need to spice them up a bit! I look forward to reading more.

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Review #6, by aline What is meant to be, will be

5th June 2003:
very good beginning.though I think you should try seperating it more. please review some of my stories

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