Wow - this is really good. And surprising. Definitely surprising :) The idea of this is really unique and interesting and it's cool you posted it!
Also I loved the beginning and ending quotes, they were thought provoking and overall just great =) Report Review
Oh, wow! I loved the whole story! It was a wonderful portrayal of Neville, who is one of my favorite characters. And then the end...that totally threw me for a loop! I was definitely not expecting that! Very nicely done! Report Review
Wow... that's all I can really say right now.... wow.... Report Review
This was freaky! Neville and Frank as the same person? Wow! I do wonder how you came up with this idea! Definitely wicked! The way Neville entangled himself in such a web that he turned himself into Frank Longbottom, a man that didn't exist, was amazing. It's funny how it was scared Neville all along with this image of Frank being so great and brave. In wanting to become that man he simply fulfills his destiny of bringing his own self into the world. That almost gives me chills. :)Author's Response: Thank you... How did I come up with it? I really don't know, it started out as a "I want to write a timetravel fic about Neville" and it took on a life of it's own! Report Review
Wow.....that was....interesting.........so neville is is own father? That's freaky.......XD!Author's Response: Thank you for the review... and I agree, very freaky...! Report Review
That was really awesome! Neville was a great choice for this one shot. He himself was his own father. No typos and the story went smoothly. Good job.Author's Response: Thanks... I am glad you liked it! Report Review
Very cool! This is an interesting tale about what happenend....but I was a little confused at the beginning. I thought it was Ginny since the "narrator" was talking about Harry, Hermione and Ronw weren't there. It's awesome!! I can't wait to read your other fics!
P.S Thanx for asking for a review! I enjoyed your one-shot!Author's Response: I'm glad... and very happy that you liked it... Marry Christmas! Report Review
Wow! That was a great story and very creative! Where did you get the ideas?
lovinrainAuthor's Response: Uhm... it just popped into my head I guess... It was for the "Out of Your Realm" challange... and I just wanted to do a neville, timetravel thing... Thank you for the positive comment! Report Review
WOW! Fantastic, amazing, I loved it! I could go on and on. Expertly written, the characters were wonderfully well realized and in cannon. I love Neville stories and this one was just brilliant! That he wound up being his own father was simply too cool!! (A little West Virginia Style, but totally awesome!) One of the best Neville and time-travel stories I’ve found on this site! Write More!Author's Response: I will! and thank you... wow... (West Virginia??... I Danish so what do I know!) Report Review
Wow! This story is very well written! It kept me alert, had the perfect amount of detail, ans there wasn't any confusion or typos! Excellent work. I'm sorry if this review bores you and seems like all others, but there is really nothig else to sya about this ficAuthor's Response: I always appreciate an honest review, and this seems to be one! Thank you for the complement! Report Review
What an utterly chilling story. The idea that Frank is Neville and that Neville goes to see his self that has gone back in time and been tortured is so chilling and creepy. That is so scary to know whats going to happen to you... would he prevent it? Apparently not.
You did a really good job of getting inside his head and his thoughts. It's just like Neville to be the one to find the timeturner and go back, except, this time, he gets into a serious muddle, that was supposed to happen in the first place.
My only complaint is that Augusta... wouldn't she know that her 'son' didn't just appear out of nowhere? Dumbledore would have to tell her what really happened, but in canon, Neville's grandmother is always telling Neville he's not living up to his father, and what a bad wizard he is, and she was scared that he was a squib. But knowing the events of the future that lead to the past... wouldn't she have reason not to be scared? Just bringing up some ideas.
I really also liked the way you made the character ambiguous. I thought it was Ginny, first, and then found out that it was Neville, and you slowly unveiled that to me. You gave the readers tiny hints and then tied it all together. I liked also how Dumbledore didn't want to know the future. It shows what a great wizard he is, that he doesn't find need to prevent any mistakes or death. It also shows that what happens needs to happen, and that it is not wise to muddle with time.
I also liked the repetition of the last 'blurb' in the beginning and end. In the beginning, it kind of works for Frank, because it's so insane--"I hear them whisper. I don't belong." But then in the end, it works for Neville, after you've learnt what happened. He doesn't belong there.
You just did an amazing job on this story. Once again, it was so chilling and creepy, but so good. You slowly unveiled it and kept the anticipation level at a high. It was very twisted to think that he's Frank and he kind of has to be to ensure the future... but that's just... weird. This was such a good idea, and I'm so glad I got to read it. You have so much potential as an author, and I hope you keep writing. Author's Response: Well firstly... I thought about the whole Augusta thing myself, but maybe that is why she is so hard on him... that was my thought. She knows how he is supposed to turn out, and what it will mean if he doesn't, that is why she is worried, she doesn't see Frank in the insecure boy that Neville is... Do you see what I mean?? ---- Thank you for the great review, I am really glad you liked it! Oh, I will keep writing, no worries, and thank you for thinking me a good one at that! Report Review
First, I want to apologize for keeping you waiting so long. I’ve been sick for the past three weeks and busy with the holidays, but I didn’t forget about you – I just didn’t want to give a half hearted review ^_^
Well, first of all, I adore your descriptions. They are so full of avvibrancy that really brings this story to life in a way that I can’t even begin describe. The intricate detail was amazing and beautiful, nearly tangible. You conveyed each emotion perfectly – the confusion and uncertainty, even hesitancy – to the point of drawing the reader in entirely. I love when writers can do that – it is an amazing talent. You don’t go on and on with your words – it's short and simple. Little things that aren’t usually recognized but actually add to the story overall. You don’t try to over explain but you give us enough to satisfy that curiosity and craving.
I like that you didn’t tell us right away who this character was. I don’t know why but that always spikes my curiosity even more, and keeps me looking for the little clues author’s drop. But you didn’t make it clear until he was speaking to McGonagall – and I thought that was a nice touch. I enjoyed the ‘revelation’ paragraphs when he’s thinking of his parents. Those were just heartrending to read. You really poured a lot of emotion into that bit and, even thought I hate admitting this I will (only because you had to wait so long for a review ^_^), I cried there. I really did. I don’t often cry while reading a story but for some reason that just broke my own resolve. It was such a beautifully elegant portion and I can’t even fully explain how touching it was.
Dumbledore – in the brief mentions of him that you have here you managed to convey everything that I love about his character. You captured his charm and wit so perfectly, better than half the people on HPFF. He is a hard character to write, and a lot of people do it so badly, but this was just wonderful.
That ending was a remarkable twist. I didn’t believe it at first, and I actually re-read that part twice just to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks. It was so absolutely unexpected and thoroughly refreshing.
Saying that I loved this story isn’t enough, but it is all I really can say to even capture a glimpse of how I feel about it. When I find the time, probably after the holidays, I’m going to start on your chapter story :-)Author's Response: .... uhm.... ok... just totally speachless here... Thank you so much for everything you noticed, it really shows that you read it closely. I had heard that you give great reviews, but this is just... wow! I don't mind waiting for something like this... I am really glad you liked the description, that is something I have really worked on for the past half year (since I joined HPFF) and when you read my chaptered fic, you will see that the first chapters are not nearly as good as the last ones... In this type of story, it is really important for me to keep some mystique... I feel like it gives me room to explain more instead of just saying "this is Neville" and then expecting everyone to know him. ..... Dumbledore... he is my favorite character to write, I don't know why though. I love him so much and I just "understand" what JKR want's him to be I think... (or at least I understand what I wnat her to whant him to be...)... Last bit not least, the ending, well it just came to me... I hadn't planned it like that, but when I got Neville in the past, I just had to do that!.... Once angain; thank you for the stunning review, I really hope you'll like "Freya" as well, even though it does have the mark og being my first fic! Report Review
Wow that was definitely not what I was expecting! It was a story that grabbed my attention right at the beginning and didn't let go until the final sentence ended. I was really impressed with the storyline and the dialogue.. I would love to see more of this story, so if you ever decide to write a sequel you have to let me know so i can read it. This story just opened so many interesting questions and theories. Absolutely wonderful job!Author's Response: Thank you.. wow.. I am really glad you liked it so much...I don't think I will make it longer, I like it like it is! Report Review
What an eerie finish to your story! I even gasped outloud at the end. It's one of those stories that leave you speechless! I honestly have no helpful hints for you, and I'm a very picky person. Your beta did an excellent job or you just don't make any mistakes! I liked how some of the sentences were short. It made for a dramatic and somewhat haunted tale. You just knew something what going to happen. But I didn't think Neville would do that!! Chilling..very chilling..You're writing style is really mature, which is refreshing to read. This fic is a good find for sure! I don't understand how you only have 11 reviews. I'll be spreading the word about this fic and putting it in my favourites. Great job Hinduras.. Thanks for letting me review it! =)Author's Response: Wow... now I am speechless! Thank you for reviewing it... I am really glad you liked it, I worked really well on this, even though it was out realm... it just came to me... maybe that is really the best kind of stories?! once again than you for the awsom review! Report Review
Sorry that it took so long to get to this, but it was a great fic, and the wait proved to be worth while!
So now.... I like that you keep it secret that this is Neville's point of view. It had me guessing until you described his parents. It has a great twist in the end when he gives his name as his father's, and it leaves you wanting for more. This may have turned out to be something great had it been continued, but you would have also run the risk of ruining it, and I am quite satisfieed with the ending as it is. Wide use of vocabulary made it an even more enjoyable read, as well as vivid descriptions. Great story! Keep writing!Author's Response: Thank you... that was really an uplifting review, I glad you liked it... To be honest I have never thought of making it more than a oneshot... mostly because I don't want to ruin it just as you pointed out, but also because this is Out of Realm for me and well, I don't think I could pull of a whole fic with this! Report Review
Wow! This was amazing. I am reading so many wonderful stories from the OOYR challenge. I am stunned.
First off, the bad, let's get it over with. :P There were a few typos that you and Drommen didn't catch. Just a quick read-through should prove very helpful. :D They are nothing big, just something worth fixing.
Neville, wow! You wrote Neville amazingly. When I first started reading, I knew who it was...just because of the way you wrote it. Amazing!
I am glad that you actually know how to write James. :D So many people just make him an arrogant, wanna-be stand up comedian. Sorry to burst their bubbles, but POP! There is another side to everyone, and you seem to have captured it very well...with a touch of humor. :P
Bum, bum, buuuum. The ending...well not the complete ending...but the part with Alice. Wow! I saw that coming. You wrote this so well. :D
Overall, you are an amazing writer. I am adding this fic to my favorites. It's wonderful.
:hearts: TonyaAuthor's Response: Thank you... This is an amuzing review! I am really glad you liked James, I was a bit worried about him as it is, but people seem to enjoi it! Still some typos huh! well I'll have to look it over again, the thing is; my spell check isn't working so it doesn't catch those stupid ones for me!Author's Response: **typo: AMAZING! I meant Amazing! once again thank you for the wonderful review! Report Review
This was truly an intriguing story. I've never read anything like this. I must disagree with you on the outcome, though. :) It's my moral; forgive it :) But it's interesting nonetheless. Very interesting.
You have that unique way of using words. Like this: "I hadn’t even noticed him, but then again, a sleeping person doesn’t demand a lot of attention." You capture a quiet moment, observe things like you had clearer eyesight than most people. :) I loved this story very much. :)
Author's Response: Thank you... I am growing quite fond of it myself.. I knew the eding would create som... disageement.. but I found it necesarry to get my point across, and I just had to write it... I am glad you like it anyway! Report Review
Woah! That was brilliant!!! I loved the way you didn't tell us who the person that had gone back in time was straightaway! I didn't spot any SP mistakes and the story kept on guessing till the very end!! I can't wait to read more! Update soon and keep it up! Author's Response: Thank you... Well the story was just a one-shot... but I am in the process of writing another one... I am glad you liked it! Report Review
Okay, that was a bit terrifying there...Neville being Frank the idea just gave me chills. I liked the way you compared the common room where things were slightly different but still "home" for him so to speak. I liked seeing James make an appearance and Dumbledore was his classic self. You've done a great job with this and I really appreciate you joining in the madness. You've done a great job with it.Author's Response: Thnak you... and yeah, it gave me the chills too... But sometimes the writing takes on a life of it's own! Report Review
It took me a really long time to realize who this was about. At first i thought it was Ginny becuase you said that Ron, Hermione and Harry were out of school. But once you started describing his dad it was obvious. Also, your years are a bit messed up. If he was back in 1976, fifteen years later would be 1991. In 1991 Neville is in his first year of school, if im not mistaken. (Hehe, the little things.) Actually, you said more then 15 but I think more then 20 is better.
Okay, now to the good stuff! This was a crazy twist and i love twists! My favorite types of stories are those that veer off in the opposite direction of what you expect. I think it was a little bit weird how you made him decide to pick Frank as his name, but that can slide. It is very true that it is terrifying to know what is going to come and know that you can't stop it. It must be horrible!
I really like your writing. It had just the right amount of description. The dialogue for Dumbledore was totally in character, I thought. Neville was tad off but not so much that it ruins everything. It worked fine. Throwing James in there was a nice touch too.
Overall, really great! :-)Author's Response: A well thought out and honest review... Thank you! As for the years, I have always been aware of when it is, seeing as Neville is seventeen years old in this fic and he is not born yet... but I just didn't want him to be clearheaded enough to do the math precisely, if that makes any scense... I am glad you liked Dumbledore, he is one of my favorite characters to write! As for James... well that was kind of and experiment, I have never written him before, and I wanted to try... Out Of My Realm and everything... Report Review
Good Job, this was really interesting, I really enjoyed it, one of the most interesting stories I have read on the site. I don't think I could ever write something like this, it was so different, hard to explain though. You managed to make it believable, and wrap everything together so cleverly. Starting out with Neville, and then Frank... very interesting theory but won't the people in Harry's time realize that he's gone? Oh... you really have me thinking now, I suggest you write a sequel as I'd like to know what happens! So great job and I'm not going to say anything about grammar because it's done very nicely as well. Great Job and Keep Writing.Author's Response: Oh, I will! Thank you for the nice review! I am almost blushing here... I am really glad you liked it! For now I don't think there will be a sequal but you never know! Report Review
Well, i think this was a pretty remarkable sotry. If I were to tell you my opinion briefly, I would say that I liked it and thought it very interesting. But since I like to go into more depth, this will be no exception. i think the way you didn't let us know who was this story about was good. I first thought it was Harry, then Ginny...slowly but surely I realized it was Neville and only then it stroked me of how great he would fit into a story like this. They way of your writing and the style overall was very good, especially the range of words, but I found some punctuation mistakes here and then. But I wouldn't worry too much about that, because I'm an antitalent when it comes to punctuation and grammar, so maybe I was wrong. The only thing that confused me (and this might be only my fault since I have a headache and should sleep now) but I didn't really get the whole Frank is gone, neville is going to play him. I don't know, I'm sure it's explained in those words, in some symbols, but stupid little me can't find it. I guess I'll just read the end again to grasp the meaning. Also, time-traveling fics are so hard to write, therefore you have my respect for writing such a decent time-travel fic, but you have the general flaw of all time-traveling fics. Since Neville came from the future, he knows what will happen and how will it happen. He knows that Snape is a traitor, and so is Pettigrew. That is the reason people who use time-turners can't be seen or interact with anyone from a different time, because if the past is changed, so is the future, and that could sometimes have bad consequences. Everytihng that happens has a meaning, or so i think. Oh! And how could I almost forget...I loved James. It was a nice refreshment to the whole story. So...I'd say great work. I didn't have to froce myself to read through this story, which is a good thing. I wanted to finish reading. Happy writing of whatever you write next. You're a good writer.Author's Response: Thank you for the long and thoughtfull review! The thing about timetravel (in my fic anyway) is that you can't travel back to your own time, it hasn't really been written... It is as Dumbledore explained to Neville, the future is not yet written, Neville can't know what is going to happen exactly therefor he can't go blabbing about traitors and stuff! If the story did proceed as planed who would really believe him? Dumbledore doesn't even think that he knows the future!! It is a very complex concept... As for the whole Frank thing, well I will wait for you to figure it out! If you cant then say the word and I will explain it... but for now I would like to wait! Once again thank you for the long review and all of the complements it holds! Report Review
oh wow, this was absolutely amazing. i loved it. rarely can a person write a good timeturner peice, but this was brilliant! and original too! great job!Author's Response: Thank you! I was worried about the Timeturner part, I have kind of had the same thoughts about it as you, but that was part of my "Out Of Realm!"- thingy... I am really glad that it worked out! Report Review
Yay! It's finally up! I love this story. The beginning and end were just so wonderful, it wrapped up the whole story. But the middle just blew me away. It took so long to realize it was Neville, though I suspected it. But you kept it so vague, perfect. I see what others may not, that this is an alternate past. Poor Neville, going back and seeing his mother well, but not his father. So sad. McGonagall was perfect. Very much like the head of Gryffindor. I love your Dumbledore. He is so perfect. And Neville's reaction when he sees him is so sad. At first I thought the boy in the hospital was Remus, but you surprised me with it being James! He was great! Again, the beginning and end just pull the whole thing together. I'm so glad you wrote this!Author's Response: Thank you! And thanks for all of your help!! I really mean it! Report Review
This was amazing! This would make a great story, if you continued it, but it's good all on its own too... excellent job!Author's Response: Thank you! I don't think it will be a story though... Report Review
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