Reading Reviews for My Father's Path
  
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Tom_DracosGirl My Father's Path

16th May 2008:
I'm so glad I happened to stumble over this story, I love Draco and write him a lot so it's nice to see other writers interpretations of incidents involving him.

I absolutely loved this one shot, the poetry was fantastic and really set the mood for the story. I also always knew who was talking which is a good thing as sometimes all dialogue can be confusing.

Great job with this one!! 10/10

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Review #2, by mischiefmanaged My Father's Path

31st July 2007:
I really enjoyed this. I know that sometimes all dialogue stories can be confusing, but I knew who was speaking everytime when I saw a different chunk of dialogue. The poems that you had in between the dialogue was flawless. The only thing that I have to suggest about them is that maybe you should put them in italics.

One of the reasons that I like this story is because it shows a different side of HBP and Draco. I loved the lines between Draco and Snape. "Draco, remember this: If you wish to survive this sort of life, you should never show weakness ... even to me." It seems like something that Snape would say.

One small thing that needs correction. When Narcissa tells Draco that he is only seventeen, it should be spelled out. So instead of 17, it should be seventeen.

You did a very good job with this story. I love how you have only poems and dialogue in some of your stories. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks. I'll correct this and follow your suggestions. And glad to know that you liked the poetry.

:) Only in a couple of stories. But I'm glad you liked this particular one. Its more of a challenge since I had to base it on HBP thus less free reign. But it was fun.


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Review #3, by _Emma_ My Father's Path

30th July 2007:
Good story, I enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Thank you. I appreciate the review :)

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Review #4, by Tearlit My Father's Path

28th June 2007:
This was interesting and quite nicely done. The poem interspersed among the dialogue was lovely.

Author's Response: Thank you.

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Review #5, by Sophia Montgomery My Father's Path

29th January 2006:
Within the story you need to capitalize Draco's name. Other than that, I really liked the poems, then word format you have it in.

Author's Response: Thanks I'll go correct that :)

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Review #6, by PhoenixStorm My Father's Path

8th January 2006:
Well I hope you know I am a great fan of your writing, The Healer especially is such a great story, so I'm glad you asked me to come review something else :).

Before I forget them, I have a few mistakes to point out, and a bit of criticism (don't worry, I still loved it!). That is all that the Dark Lord ask This is from the 2nd verse you write in here. As it doesn't make sense might you consider 'did ask' instead of 'ask'? What needed to be done. Myrtle asks him what he's going to do, not what he's done, so this should be 'what needs to be done'. My hand shook, for I know not what I'm doing. This is from another verse, and it's a tense change. It should be 'my hand shakes'. Finally Snape did. Draco cannot bring himself to do it is another tense issue. I htink it should be 'Draco could not bring himself to do it as it happened in the past. I have a bit of a problem with the voice you've given Draco at the beginning. we either serve the dark lord or die is especially off, in my opinion. I'm not sure Draco is really htinking in these terms yet, this is not a thing that has occurred to him. He's not got to the point where he's worried about death, or has considered the possibility of it or even exactly what it is he must do. He's fixed on the honour he thinks this brings, still at the bragging stage, and I think he sounds a little too serious.

Aside from that, I liked everything else in this story. I positively adore your rhymes, they're very clever, and i like how you slot them into the story. The part with Myrtle is especially well written, and I like the interaction you've wirtten between Draco and her. You develop a part of th ebook we don't really know that much about and i htink you've done so brilliantly.

My favourite bit has to be the part after snape's killed dumbeldore. That was just pitched so perfectly :). This line If you wish to survive this sort of life, you should never show weakness … even to me was the best. It is so something snape would say, and I just really loved this small part of the fic. Great job :).

Author's Response: Thanks so much for all those corrections *lol* I guess I still missed aplenty when I corrected this. :)

I'll be sure to fix all those especially on Draco being a bit too serious.

Thanks so much for this really constructive review.

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Review #7, by megs My Father's Path

21st October 2005:
I like this story, it's shown another side to the end of HBP, I think you wrote Draco very well and you did so with Greyback as well. I like how you write Dialogue. As for Harry, I'm not sure about that, it seems unnatural for him to say it but you write very well and I think that if I have time I will try and review the other one you asked of me. I didn't notice any grammar mistakes this time either! Great job in this story, I'm not sure which I liked better! So Keep Writing and if I find the time I'll come back to do the other one. megs

Author's Response: Hmm... guess I'd have to work on studying Harry's characterization a bit more. ^_^ Thanks for reviewing ^_^ and that bit of advice.

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Review #8, by trixytonks My Father's Path

14th October 2005:
While the poem in this story was a nice touch, I don't know if the dialogue was strong enough to support it. I know you were probably aiming for a simpler approach as regards to how it was written, but this could be a lot better - I know you're good at description from what I read in your other story, so my advice to you is to plush this out. It needn't be all dialogue.

Author's Response: Pretty good advice ... Guess the 'all dialogue' can be confusing. ^_^

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Review #9, by wickedwitch25 (not logged in) My Father's Path

12th October 2005:
This was good, but a bit confussing. The poetry was well written and rhymed perfectly. I was mostly able to understand who was talking during the dialogue, but it took me a minute. It's nice to see Draco's side of it.

Author's Response: *L* I know it's a bit confusing ... I guess I ought to fix this to make it more understandable. :) Glad you liked the poetry though. Thanks for reviewing this :)

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Review #10, by mmm_bacon My Father's Path

10th October 2005:
wow that was good

Author's Response: thanks ^_^

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Review #11, by theslytherinprincess My Father's Path

3rd October 2005:
koolness

Author's Response: ^_^

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Review #12, by Rebekka My Father's Path

3rd October 2005:
Ugh, I forgot to mention that you had a typo: “Aveda Kedavra!” It's Avada. :)

Author's Response: Thanks I'll go correct that. ^_^

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Review #13, by Rebekka My Father's Path

3rd October 2005:
Oh, I loved it. I've always loved your poems, but this was an excellent example of your skill. :) I loved how it was all dialogue and poem, nothing else. Good job with this one, nutty. :) Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Thanks Rebekka. Always a pleasure to hear from you. I'm surprise you found this one because I never mentioned it in the forum ^_^

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Review #14, by Raslygri My Father's Path

3rd October 2005:
Wow, this is really excellent! I especially enjoyed the end dialogue... Really made me think. Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you. Am glad you liked it. Thanks for the review.

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Review #15, by Jennifer My Father's Path

3rd October 2005:
Hy, this is Jen, im from Rome italy! i really like ur story! im hopelessy in love with Draco Malfoy and i think u really did a good job! keep on writing! Jen!

Author's Response: I'm from Vancouver, Canada. Thanks for saying so ... makes me think that maybe I ought to write a bit more about Draco. He's an interesting character afterall. -Miel-

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Review #16, by lovely_luna My Father's Path

3rd October 2005:
Okay, lets get started shall we, I noticed just two things that sort of confused me. The first one was 'That is all that the Dark Lord ask.' it didn't really make sense to me. I know you were trying to rhyme with task buy you could as 'the dark lord does ask or will ask or would ask or something like that. The second one was at the very end, You said he cannot bring himself to do it. But it's already done, so wouldn't it be he could not bring himself to do it? Just a few sugjestions because I noticed they confused me a bit. Other than that, it was a very good story, I like how you outilined it with a song... or a poem... or whatever. And made up your own words then used some of the dialogue from half blood prince. It was very interesting and good. Good job

Author's Response: Grammatically speaking ''That is all that the Dark Lord ask." is correct maybe it's just not commonly heard, but the great thing about poetry - you can get away with things like this. I'll want to keep the original phrase, but thanks for the suggestion.

the second meant that he could not bring himself to kill Dumbledore ... killing is the 'it' - Draco can't bring himself to throw the curse. guess I'll have to find a way to make that clearer. ^_^

Thanks for being the 1st to review and the thoughts you placed into this. ^_^


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