Reading Reviews for Newlyweds
  
68 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Karou_Marauder May Life Always Be So Sweet

9th July 2014:
Hiya!

Plot: I love how Lily is making a photo album to preserve their moments together. That seems really sweet. And the meetings going on in their house sound really boring...they probably are unless you're directly involved. And now they're suspecting Remus. I can't believe they thought it was him!

Characterisation: Sirius seems quite annoying here, which I suppose I is. Lily seems a bit too lovey-dovey, but I guess you act differently when you're pregnant. James is quite the protector, isn't he? All the characters seem to be canon, as far as I can tell.

Description: You captured the emotions really well, but sometimes I think you missed the surroundings. What does the house look like? What does the cellar look like? Something like that.

I wonder why James looked disgusted at the end?

-Karou, 2014 House Cup Review

 Report Review

Review #2, by charlottetrips May Life Always Be So Sweet

30th April 2012:
Though this was so short, the emotions running through it were very tangible and clear, especially from Lily. I can see the shadow of Voldemort and the war over her head and that of her husband and friends. I should go back and read the books again because I donít remember Remus being under suspicion by his own friends. Thatís horrendous to me.

This line confused me a bit: He looked disgusted for a moment but smiled and kissed her forehead softly. - why would James be disgusted at having Lilyís hand over his on her stomach?

But other than that, Lilyís compassionate nature is clear here and I see why so many people were affected by her love and how that love was so powerful as to defeat Voldemort. Rather than Jamesí charisma and skill, Harry survived because of his motherís love and though you donít even get into that here so much, I just read it that way and this fit in perfectly with what Iíd put together for myself about her.

xChar

 Report Review

Review #3, by LilyPotterGinnyMalfoy May Life Always Be So Sweet

13th September 2011:
I really liked this story. You portrayed the characters very well and I could feel the emotions. An outstanding job.
LPGM

 Report Review

Review #4, by peace2lovepotter May Life Always Be So Sweet

27th May 2011:
oh! This was so cute! I love it so much, especially the ending! 10/10 :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by Ava Pearce May Life Always Be So Sweet

13th November 2009:
Awww.. That's sweet! and I promise you're not a softie ;) Its fun to write fluff every now and again. I usually all for Gore and Horror, so I was horrified when I started writing a romance, but its picked up and its going good. Harry Potter Fan Fiction has done something strange to me. Turned my gore into Romance.
Anyway, back to your story, I love you detail and description. Its really good and you can tell you've got quite some experience in writing! I cracked up laughing about how Sirius walked in on her vomiting, haha! And especially his reaction! James are you- WOAH!
*rolling on ground laughing*
Instant Favorite!
10/10
Ava xx

 Report Review

Review #6, by Alopex May Life Always Be So Sweet

30th October 2009:
Happy HPFFSAD!

I've heard so much about your second-person writing, and since I'm part of that crowd that struggles to read the second-person, I confess I was putting you off as I was going down the staff list. I was surprised to find something in the third person, and a one-shot, no less! Perfect. I took the easy way out.

About time I make some specific comments about your story. I love what you did with the photo album. You brought the story back around to Lily being in the basement with the album, which brought closure to the story. You kept referring to the photo album or to snapshots throughout, and it reminded me strongly of the photo album Hagrid gives Harry. The "last inscription" Lily made at the beginning may not have been the last inscription she ever made (surely she made a baby photo album for Harry), but it certainly was among one of the last. There's something sobering about the photo album, in thinking that, with the exception of Harry's birth, she has pretty much recorded her life.

I enjoyed your characterization of the other Marauders. In particular, Sirius was amusing. Or maybe it was Lily's reaction to him that was amusing. I liked that Remus and Lily were friends and that she thought he was wrongly suspected. And Peter made an appearance! The untouched tea was a nice touch.

Author's Response: Oh dear - now my ears are burning :P This was, as I mentioned, my OOYR entry - and my assignment was james/lily fluff and that...oh dear that was difficult. I think, with the photo album, I was able to bring a degree of groundedness to this otherwise airy story and come out if it with some of my dignity intact :)

Poor Sirius - i actually wrote Sirius this way to thank timeturner for assigning me James/Lily fluff...in only the way i can thank someone for something like that - by making him the butt of every joke in the story :P

In any case, i'm glad you found something on my author page you could read and I hope enjoyed it :)


 Report Review

Review #7, by pennyardelle May Life Always Be So Sweet

30th October 2009:
Happy Staff Appreciation Day! You seem to think that this story is fluff and nothing more, but I think it actually has a deeper layer to it. First of all, the title is so ironic in the sense that none of what Lily & James are going through would be typical for newlyweds. And it's the irony that gives it a deeper meaning, as well as some really fantastic lines like: "You're so consumed with thinking each other traitors you've no time to consider that there's more to this than just the five of us!" Was that specifically talking about the fact that Lily was pregnant? Because actually, I think it's a brilliant line that sums up the general situation wonderfully. Great story!

Author's Response: Ah this story :) Such trouble.

This story is the fluffiest thing I have ever written. Truth be told, I didn't realize until writing Brink that I write angst. I'm sardonic. I'm dark. I'm heavy on the character development. The fact that all of this adds up to angst never even occured to me. Clearly, self assessment is not a strong suit of mine :P

I will admit that this story is still the fluffiest thing I have ever put to paper if for no other reason than, by the end of the thing, they're facing down a happy ending - and thats just not something I do very well :P

As for that line, it was intended to bring them into the reality that there was officially a sixth person in their lives, whether they could see him as clearly as she could or not. Its funny to re-read this to respond to the review, because the lily here is just so sappy in comparison to the characterization of her in Brink :)


 Report Review

Review #8, by nire May Life Always Be So Sweet

13th February 2009:
I was getting funny feelings in my stomach reading this.. good feelings tho.

its so heart wrenching to read stuff like this. I just feel so sorry for them. for all of them.

sirius is portrayed very differently in here. do you see lily and him to never get along?

anyway, good job. i love it :) james and lily have always had a soft spot in my heart.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm sorry it took me so long to answer it - I don't check around here as often as I should. :( In any case, my take on the situation is that boys - all boys - are generally a lot different when they're 19 than they are when they're in their thirties and I don't think he would have been any different. I think, however much they liked one another, he would have annoyed her and she him - it's just that way with some people :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by flamingolover May Life Always Be So Sweet

10th April 2008:
I kinda like this, though I was a little bit confused with what was going on at the beginning. I like the way you write-- very descriptive... and I'm avoiving calling you a softie, just in case.

Author's Response: always wise ;)

In all sincerity, thanks for the review :)


 Report Review

Review #10, by SillyLily May Life Always Be So Sweet

15th December 2007:
AWW! this is good! :P
Love Sillylily :P

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #11, by rachelchrisell May Life Always Be So Sweet

2nd November 2007:
That was great, i liked it!

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #12, by MonaPotter230 May Life Always Be So Sweet

20th August 2007:
awww that is soo cute you really are a softie but dont cry cuz i kno how you feel i am the same way sometimes but oppisite of you i normally write about love but my best friend forced me to do somthing a little more advanced but you really are a softie

Author's Response: lol, oh dear :) I hope you did well on your fic!

 Report Review

Review #13, by LoopyLooneyLunaLovegood May Life Always Be So Sweet

18th August 2007:
Haha I'll try not to commet about it being sweet then, but it was extremely well written. Your banners are just amazing, by the way. You artwork on tda is beautiful too!

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #14, by Gun Metal May Life Always Be So Sweet

7th August 2007:
Aw. That's so sweet in such a sad sort of way it makes my fingers numb . . . Or maybe that's the hour. It was really cleanly written, no glaring grammatical errors or the likes to trip up the eyes.

Personally, I can't help wishing it was just a little happier. I always hate Lily/James fics near the end of their lives. It makes me so unhappy.

As far as actually solid criticism, though, I'm coming up dry. Perhaps it should have been a little longer? I don't know. It was wonderfully written.

I'd really like to know what exactly the challenge was that you wrote this for.

Author's Response: :) Thank you.

This story was written for Timeturner's original Out Of Your Realm Challenge. She's a friend of mine and when she created it she was recruiting everyone she knew to write for it - and thus I was assigned a fluffy James/Lily fic on account of the fact that she could think of nothing that I would enjoy writing less. Thus, here we are.

I'm glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the review :)


 Report Review

Review #15, by RupertsPheonix May Life Always Be So Sweet

30th July 2007:
I like that Lily trusts and cares about Remus so much. I just wish the marauders trusted him as much, though I understand where the questioning comes from. It's all very realistic. Great job!

=) Kate/RP

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. The relationship with Lupin was a very important one to me as I felt it was crucial to paint Lily as firmly within the crux of the issue - the fight between protecting her child and protecting a friend who she couldn't think ill of. She's always been painted in such a saintly manner in the series that I felt it was important, in a fluffy love story, to maintain that.

 Report Review

Review #16, by LilyGreenEyes May Life Always Be So Sweet

26th July 2007:
Aww thats cute!
And it doesnt hurt to be a softie once in a while lol

Author's Response: I don't know about that, i'm pretty sure i'm still in phsyical pain ;)

Thanks!


 Report Review

Review #17, by SadForSirius May Life Always Be So Sweet

13th July 2007:
Aww! How cute. : )
No, actually, I tend to read a lot of these, and this is one of the only ones that has had some actual substance to it. It's not just some mindless fluffball like everyone seems to enjoy writing (although I don't know why). This was really though out and well done.

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #18, by sunnysideup May Life Always Be So Sweet

18th June 2007:
That was a really nice story!!

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #19, by Bianca_Potter May Life Always Be So Sweet

16th May 2007:
Wow

Author's Response: Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #20, by Tropicalbreeze92 May Life Always Be So Sweet

29th April 2007:
Really enjoyed the fic, even if you didn't enjoy writing it so much :) I was wondering if I could request a banner?

-Maura

Author's Response: Thank you :) Unfortunately, I dont take requests through the review system as it is considered spam.

 Report Review

Review #21, by harrypotterhugefanforever May Life Always Be So Sweet

22nd April 2007:
Good story. Could you please make me a banner. My story is called...

Harry Potter and the Fight for Life.

I would really like it to have Ginny and Harry with Voldemort's eyes. Please. I tried making one but i suck at them.

Once again good story. Keep it up.
10/10

~Amy

Author's Response: Thank you! Unfortunately, I do not take banner requests through the review system as it is considered spam.

 Report Review

Review #22, by Black_Hearted May Life Always Be So Sweet

1st April 2007:
I didn't even read the story. I just went to it so I can review you and tell you that we shouldn't have to pay to write our stories. The name changing thing i'm not to happy about but could live with. When people have a knack for writing, but are poor they lose hope. They lose hope of making it big, being able to write for a living, and hope for the people that they havent yet written about. If more people were like you J.K. Rowling never would have been able to get her stories published. Because of you I will never return to this website. You have killed hope of the many people that I havent written about and now may never get a chance to.

Author's Response: .

 Report Review

Review #23, by Romina Stephanie May Life Always Be So Sweet

31st March 2007:
I really liked this story - it was fluffy, yes, and sweet.
But what I liked the most was your portrayal of Lily and the descriptions of their surroundings, as well as her feelings - especially when it came to Remus and how she felt about the fact that his friends mistrusted him and when it came to James and her love for him.

Anyways, this was lovely!
- Stephanie

Author's Response: Thank you :)

 Report Review

Review #24, by G May Life Always Be So Sweet

10th March 2007:
Good job!!

Author's Response: Thanks!

 Report Review

Review #25, by prongsie_potter_rulez May Life Always Be So Sweet

23rd January 2007:
To be completely honest...

It was brilliant =]

Loved every second of it - it was a great insight on Lily's view.

Hehe... Sirius' is puce... =P

well done!!

10/10 and fav's =]


xoprongsieox

Author's Response: Awww, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>