Reading Reviews for Life After Evil.
  
408 Reviews Found

Review #1, by slightly odd kat First Week Of Term.

13th January 2014:
good story, but you really need to work on your grammar

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Review #2, by slightly odd kat Shopping and A Proposal.

13th January 2014:
harry seems to be acting a bit OOC, he appears to be quite arrogant, far more so than in the books.

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Review #3, by Dominic Martinez Home Sweet Home.

19th February 2010:
good story you need to write more about them starting there life and start having kids

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

There have been quite a lot of people asking for me to make another sequel to this story.I may do so one day, but I am extremely tight on time which is resulting in my other two progressive stories being slowly updated.


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Review #4, by evan Home Sweet Home.

22nd November 2009:
this did not have as much action as the story before it and at first i was reluctant to read these stories after the reviews but finally someone has made someone not iinvincible some people just make him mediocre but you have to epect something from the boy who lived and ahemm as umbridge would whats going on with the new lords story ive been devouring it and i realised about a month or so ago why isnt he or she posting please post soon thanks for the great story

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and I'm glad you liked it. The story itself is wrote poorly, as is its prequel. There isn't much action because it mainly ends in the first one. This story is a more peaceful follow up.

With my stories I like the whole idea of applying mythical powers to Harry. He is dubbed as the saviour of the world and in the world of fanfiction, applying something completely different from the real JKR stories goes a long way. I enjoy creating powers of my own and then applying them. Some people do not like it, but I do not see the reason in writing a fanfiction if it is to mimic the real thing.

New Lords is slowly being completed. I have tried to complete them quickly, but they are then rushed and not 100% how I like them. The next chapter is almost completed though and should be up within a week I'd say. Hopefully we'll get a few up over the Christmas holiday.

Thanks for reading and I'm glad you like them.


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Review #5, by Lone Wolf Home Sweet Home.

28th September 2009:
not bad man ... but it can be improved ...

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. It can definitely be improved, and I do improve with later stories. Check them out.

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Review #6, by Phoenix_fire23 Home Sweet Home.

16th April 2009:
i am sorry to disappoint you or go against the grain but you are a very well rehearsed writer exactly from the start and you should defaintly think a bout adding another story to the love before death and life after evil stories i am an english professor at a chinese school for a term and you have great potential to that story just leaving it as it is a very unsatisfactory thing to all who have requested it. most of the poeple on this site that reveiw your story really like it you should definantly keep in mind what readers want since it is them you are aiming to please the readers.

Sincerely,
R. J. Estonio

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. Love Before Death and Life After Evil were my poor English writing abilities. I had no idea how to write for this site and I mainly wrote for my own entertainment, since I enjoy writing. However from more practice and more reading, my writing has improved drastically. Since this was not the best wrote, I left it as it was and moved onto another storyline which was a bit better wrote. If you check my profile you'll see them, it begins from Four Heirs, which was began wrote half way through Life After Evil, so it begins poorly.

You will see the huge difference and improvement. I do not intend on writing a sequel to Life After Evil, but one day I do hope to rehost them after rewriting them. They're only left as a symbol of where I've come from and where I began.

For now my focus is on Rise of New Lords which is not too far from completion and ready for another sequel. I also have a newer story which is a different take but less of a priority Rise of Power.

I hope you continue to read.


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Review #7, by HarryRules73 Home Sweet Home.

26th February 2009:
amazing story. absolutly love it

Author's Response: Thanks for reading ;).

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Review #8, by Derex The Attack That Decided.

25th February 2009:
hey You better keep wrighting, or I'll never read any Harry potter stories again. And I love harry potter stories.

KEEP WRITING

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. This story is completed.

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Review #9, by Derex Hallowe'en Wedding.

25th February 2009:
I loved this chapter. It was hilarious, well I hope you understand what that says.
Hope you keep wrighting.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #10, by Derex Learning, Teaching And Given Advice.

25th February 2009:
So far this story is pretty good.
No offense but I still like the first part of this one better.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. This sequel basically just ties things up.

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Review #11, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Home Sweet Home.

20th January 2009:
"It is a anger caused piece of magic, it destroys who ever the caster is an enemy to." "It is an anger caused"

“I shouldn’t of gone." "I shouldn't have gone."

“Haven’t you got to go back to Hogwarts?” asked Hermione curiously, not taking her eyes off of Harry’s face. "Don't you have to go back to Hogwarts?"

"A few days before the end of a school year, Hermione went to Hogwarts by floo and got Harry’s and her luggage." "before the end of the school year"

"Harry got dressed and then returned to the corridor, where most of the popular Order members were stood." Leave out the word "were".


“It’s out of habit. Well, let’s go into out new home.” said Harry calmly, opening the door to Grimmauld Place. "Let's go into our new home."

"When he swung open the door, Dobby and Winky were stood waiting." Leave out the word "were" or "were standing"

"We must stay in regular contact with out friends.” said Harry simply." "contact with our friends."

This story was simply delightful. I liked the warmth of friendship and depth of character. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. Glad you liked it.

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Review #12, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca The Fateful Night.

20th January 2009:
"Myself and Dumbledore cannot live safe, until all Death-Eaters are killed." "Dumbledore and myself cannot"

"We have two hundred people fighting, we need more, I hope you can be them extra.” explained Harry seriously. "I hope you can be those extra."

"When Harry reopened his eyes, he was stood in the basement of the Riddle House. Wulfrid, Moody, Tonks, Lupin and Shacklebolt was stood with him." Leave out the word "was". In the second sentence perhaps say, "were standing with him".

"As the Death-Eaters began to floor they waved their wands to make their fall silent." "began to fall to the floor they waved"

"Harry could hear that in the next room, there was a lot of people." "there were a lot of people."

"Harry couldn’t see who he was supposed to be aiming for, as there were so much flashing colours. " "as there were so many flashing colours."

I hope he didn't kill Hermione.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. Read on to see :P

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Review #13, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca N.E.W.T's.

20th January 2009:
"You will of heard of Mister Harry Potter," "You will have heard"

"They hated revising, thought they knew they wouldn’t get any were with out it." "though they knew they wouldn't get anywhere without it."

"They were surrounding in piles of books, all with extra spells and other small things." "They were surrounded by piles of books,"

"On the last night before the exams, Harry and Hermione were laid on their bed hugging, whilst studying." "Harry and Hermione were lying on their"

"Harry soon later felt two soft hands on his side." Leave out the word "soon". Or, "Harry sooner or later"


"The next morning Harry woke with Hermione sat at the desk near the window." "Harry awoke with Hermione sitting at"

"They could see Professor McGonagall sat with a large scroll in her hand." "Professor McGonagall sitting with a"

"The seventh years only had the wait for a few seconds before little Professor Flitwick began speaking." "only had to wait for a"

"He was stood on top of a table, so he could see all the tables." Leave out the word "was" or "He was standing on top"

“Parkinson, Pansy - Patil, Padma - Patil, Pavati - Potter, Harry.” he called. "Parvati"


"Harry and the three girls entered the Great Hall, where four examiners were sat at small desks." "four examiners were sitting"

"Now, I am curious to whether you was able to master the ability of Animagi." "whether you were able to"

"Harry was happy at hearing them words." "at hearing those words."

"Harry could see Ron sat near the fire." "see Ron sitting near the fire."

"he, Pansy, Pavati and Padma left the Hall and was told which examiner to go to." "Parvati"

"Harry to a seat in front of Professor Tofty’s desk." "Harry took a seat"

"All examiners have took I your skill for verb-less magic.” replied Professor Tofty softly. "have taken your skill" Leave out the word "I".

"As soon as the spell hit the toad, it stopped hopping and fell the table, lifeless." "and fell off the table"

"Dumbledore was sent backwards and was hit by all but one spell. He was sent in the air and then span and began to descend head first." "in the air and then spun and began"

"You stopped the magic around of you and sent it back to the caster, amazing.” said Dumbledore softly, accepting the offered hand from Dumbledore, to help him up. "the magic around you" Leave out the word "of". "accepting the offered hand from Harry"

"You proved you power.” said Hermione quietly, her mouth slightly open. "You proved your power."

I hope it isn't death for Harry, but you are the writer.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #14, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Planning.

20th January 2009:
"Dumbledore was stood on the other side, in a long grey corridor." Leave out the word "was".

“Harry, before the Order gets here, I would like to ask of something.” "like to ask something"

"The Order members either sat at the table of stood cramped around the room." "the table or stood cramped around"

“As we are planning an attacking a fairly large house and a fairly large amount of Death-Eaters," "As we are planning an attack on a fairly"

“I am not the one to be apologize to." Leave out the word "be".

"Voldemort recruiting anyone he could, most weren’t trained for combat." "Voldermort was recruiting"

“Myself and Harry shall be under no threat." "Harry and myself"

“The Order members guarding Hogwarts shall come back with me and Harry," "shall come back with Harry and me"

"though also knew it would hurt her deeply." "though he also knew"

"Me and some trained people have to do that," "some trained people and myself"

“Yes. It will finalise the threat to mine and Dumbledore’s lives." "Dumbledore's and my life"

No need to say that your stories are not good enought for us. As for myself I am really enjoying them. I hope I am helping you out a little.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. Under normal circumstances you would be helping. However, I am aware of the errors and purposely leave them as a symbol of my improvements.

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Review #15, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca The Attack That Decided.

20th January 2009:
"Harry and Hermione were sat in a corner, where they felt comfortable." "were sitting in a corner,"

"Hermione was really happily and often kissed Harry." "really happy and often"

"Me and Ron have got some things to sort out." "Ron and I have got", "or have some things to do."

“Hermione, I have you Valentines present." "I have your Valentines"

"When she opened it up, her draw dropped and her eyes widened." "her jaw dropped and"

"She at the jewellery and almost cried with shock." "She looked at the jewelery"

"When they killing curse hit the Death-Eater, he fell to the floor lifeless." "When the killing curse hit the Death-Eater, he fell to the ground lifeless."

"He had to, at time, run around the corner." "He had to, at times, run around the corner."

"Dumbledore’s eyes were slowing gathering their twinkle and Lupin was still alert." "were slowly gathering their"

"Until then, me and Harry, cannot live a safe life." "Harry and I, cannot"

You know one thing I have enjoyed about this story is that you have created Harry with an huge amount of power, but you have still showed that he is human as well.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. Yes I do not wish to take away fear and danger from his life.

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Review #16, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Career Path and A Decision.

20th January 2009:
"Harry got up and tidied to room a but." "tidied the room a bit".

"Well, me and Harry are okay about a place to live." "Harry and I are"

“No matter Harry. I know of the career steps you choose." "career steps you chose". Past tense she knew them already.

“Well, me and Hermione have got Grimmauld Place." "Hermione and I have".

“Well, I think me and Ernie Macmillan are going to settle down together." "Ernie Macmillan and I are".

"Maybe there is a job that involves using them skills?” said Susan hopefully. "involves using those skills?".

"You can tell me where I can get a home, me and Ernie can search for one.” "home, Ernie and I can"

“Me and Luna need a home." "Luna and I need"


“Well, me and Hermione are living in Hogsmeade, at Grimmauld Place." "Well, Hermione and I are"

“Yeah. I have done for ages." I don't think the word "done" is necessary.

"I missed you lips.” said Harry softly, turning to Hermione and kissing her deeply. "I missed your lips."

“We are talking cottage we are buying.” said Ron happily. "We are talking about the cottage we are buying."

"U chose Auror." "I chose Auror."

"He handed it Ron, who’s mouth fell to the floor." "He handed it to Ron,"

"IP have spoke to some people, all who know you, and they speak very highly of you." I have spoken to some"

"I am not sure if you noticed, but a sponsor was present at you last school match." "sponsor was present at your last"

"He said you reflexes were amazing." "He said your reflexes were amazing."

I enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #17, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Shocks and Christmas Wedding.

19th January 2009:
"They know the cannot get a hold of Hermione, so they will pretend they have her." "They know they cannot"

"They couldn’t see anything other than blur." "other than a blur".

"Madam Pomfrey was knelt by a huge bag full of potions and other medical equipment." Leave out the word "was".

"he knew is belonged to only one person, Sirius." "he knew it belonged"

"He looked around and found the Weasley’s sat in chairs," "Weasley's sitting in chairs,"

"The went back to Harry and Hermione’s common room." "They went back"

“So your getting married?" "So you're getting married?"

"A large orchestra were set up, it consisted of twenty musicians." There is only one orchestra so "was" is used this time. "orchestra was set up".

"Ron was stood next to him, telling him there’s nothing to worry about." Leave out the word "was".

"He knocked them thoughts out of his head, he knew he was being stupid." "He knocked those thoughts".

Ginny, Lavender and Pavati. "Parvati"

"Harry and Hermione listened to the Priest tell them what the needed to feel and then they read from the small cards they were handed." "what they needed to feel".

"Except there were more decorations and the Hall seemed to be of expanded for a larger table." Leave out the word "of".

Fine story enjoyed it very much.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #18, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca An Attack At A Match.

19th January 2009:
"Macnair was stood on a tree stump, looking down on to the surrounding Death-Eaters." Leave out the word "was".

"Harry kissed Hermione’s neck and the moved her neck, so that he could get in better." should say "then moved her neck".

“What do you think out wedding day will be like?” "our wedding day".

"All out guests have been invited." "our guest have been"

“That’s won’t be a problem." "That won't be a problem"

"The kept in formation." "They kept in formation".

"The soared once around the pitch, before doing an amazing dive, which led into a full flip." "They soared once around"

"then she let loose to Snitch and Bludgers." "then she let loose the Snitch"

"They will continued coming back, until one of us is dead.” said Dumbledore fiercely, sending a Death-Eater soaring through the air." "They will continue coming back"

Good story.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #19, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Hallowe'en Wedding.

19th January 2009:
"Some were sat, though most were stood bunched together." Use the word "sitting".

"A man that was sat at the head of a table looked around at all the Death-Eaters and then began to speak." Use "sitting" again.

"He scanned the room, as though waited for someone to speak." Use "waiting" instead of "waited".

I was wrong again, I see I am going to have to look some of your words from now on instead of assuming they are not spelled correctly or even words at all. Quietened is a word, I looked it up. Early I thought it wasn't. Please forgive my assumption.

"When they got there, there was at least thirty people." Use "were" instead of "was".

"The second was a weedy boy, who could of easily be knocked off his broom, Harry thought he could change that." Omit the word "of".

"Harry was the youngest Seeker for a century, he was the only first-year good enough to be placed on the team." Instead of "for" use "of".

“Thanks. I’ll get it wrote as quick as I can." Use the word "written" instead.

"Me and my friends have found our soul mates." Should say, "My friends and I".

"Myself, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley are seventeen years of age." Again "myself" needs to be placed after the other names.

"You cannot understand how much we are in love with out lovers." "Out" should be "our".

"The second is myself and Hermione Granger’s, on Christmas day." "Hermione and myself".

"I will grant you permission to have you weddings." Use "your weddings" instead.

"I would like to point out that you wasn’t placed as Minister because of your age." "weren't placed" instead of "wasn't placed".

"Though I am glad you still include the Ministry in you life." "in your life".

"Once Harry had made Ron look smart, Harry transported them both entered the grounds of Hogwarts." "entering the grounds" instead of "entered the grounds".

"Following Hermione was three Bridesmaids;" "were three Bridesmaids;"

"Ginny, Lavender and Pavati." "Parvati" isn't it.

"Harry was stood at the right of Ron." Leave out the word "was".

"Instead of the usual single gold chair, there was two." Use "were two".

"Harry took the seat next to Ron, whilst Hermione sat the Luna’s left." "whilst Hermione sat at Luna's left." Leave out the word "the".

"Past Mr Lovegood was the three Bridesmaid and past Mr, and Mrs Weasley was the three Ushers." "were the three bridesmaids".

"Luna’s father James, cousin Peter, and Aunt Mary; my sister Ginny, me best friend Hermione Granger and my friends of seventh year." should say, "my best friend Hermione".

"pulled out a piece of parchment." "Pulling out a piece of parchment".

"if God couldn't do it the first time, what chance to I have?” "what chance do I have".

Now I understand where you are coming from now. I thought that maybe English was not you first language.

Author's Response: Nah it is. I had bad schooling and this was a first story. I couldn't write to save my life back when I was doing this and the prequel.

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Review #20, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Rescue and Forgiveness.

19th January 2009:
"Harry could not help but think back to when Hermione were kidnapped." Use "was" instead of "were" this time.

"family help each other." said Polleo happily. The word family need to be pluralized.

"As they entered the Entrance Hall, he saw more than his followers stood there." Use "standing" instead of "stood".

No, I like the way this story turned out.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #21, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Learning, Teaching And Given Advice.

19th January 2009:
"Hermione was sat there reading from a book, like usual." Use "sitting" instead of "sat".

"Harry often gave Hermione a quick tap on the backside of a sneaky kiss." "or a sneaky kiss" not "of a sneaky kiss".

“This lesson Harry, I am going to teach your how to control a person’s mind, with simple things." "You" instead of "your".

Yes, the story is good. I felt it continued the overall theme. Don't worry, you are doing fine.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #22, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca After Dark Strolls.

19th January 2009:
"She was laid on her stomach reading from a thick book." Maybe you could rephrase it this way, "She was lying on her stomach reading from a thick book."

"Harry thought that after his attack on Ron, then maybe they would all avoid him." Replace "then" with "that". "that maybe they would all avoid him."

"They were glad they came down early as it would of been over crowded, when the rest of the students came down." Replace "would of" with "would have".

"I need a new quill. I have gotten an habit of chewing the ends." Use "a" instead of "an". "a habit of chewing".

"They are on the us at Zonko's." Leave out the word "the".

"Yeah, me and Cho came in here." "Yeah, Cho and I"

"Soon later Harry felt Hermione shiver." You could leave out the word "later", or say "sooner or".

"Harry grabbed his quickly and tapped it with his wand." Did you mean the word "this".

"Your allie has met an enemy. The blonde enemy will soon betray your trust and has gained one of your allies. Your allie is associating with an untrustworthy person." replied the Centaur clearly.

Harry didn't quite understand what he meant by it. Harry didn't have a blonde enemy and Ron wasn't really an allie any more.

Change all the "allie" to "ally".

"Why was you meeting Malfoy?" Use "were" instead.

"He couldn't get Ron's words out of hi head." Misspelled "his".

I don't know why he keeps hurting Ron? I know he was mad, but he just left him there.

I did enjoy the story.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #23, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca First Week Of Term.

19th January 2009:
"Once the entire school had quietened and looked up at the staff table, Harry began talking." Not "quientened" but "quieted".

"with just a flick of you little finger." Use the contraction "you're".

"I did not allow you to fight because you was at a stage, where your powers were at their strongest." Use "were" not "was".

"you shall of mastered everything I can teach you." Use "have" instead of "of".

"I have never brewed it though, me and Professor Snape never had time." replied Harry cleverly. "Proffessor Snape and I".

"Have you got the book you was given by Professor Snape?" said Professor Persine happily. How about saying it this way, "Do you have the book you were given by Professor Snape?".

"One on the right wall, one on te left wall and one on the back wall." Just misspelled the.

"The one person he didn't expect was stood between the doorway, Hermione." Leave out the word "was".


"Is you bed my bed, again?" asked Hermione hopefully, looking at Harry. Again "you're" instead of "you".

I am glad you brought Hermione and Harry back together. It just didn't feel right this way. Frankly I wouldn't like it if you were to leave it that way. But you are the writer so you have the prerogative.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #24, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca First Week Of Term.

19th January 2009:
"Once the entire school had quietened and looked up at the staff table, Harry began talking." Not "quientened" but "quieted".

"with just a flick of you little finger." Use the contraction "you're".

"I did not allow you to fight because you was at a stage, where your powers were at their strongest." Use "were" not "was".

"you shall of mastered everything I can teach you." Use "have" instead of "of".

"I have never brewed it though, me and Professor Snape never had time." replied Harry cleverly. "Proffessor Snape and I".

"Have you got the book you was given by Professor Snape?" said Professor Persine happily. How about saying it this way, "Do you have the book you were given by Professor Snape?".

"One on the right wall, one on te left wall and one on the back wall." Just misspelled the.

"The one person he didn't expect was stood between the doorway, Hermione." Leave out the word "was".


"Is you bed my bed, again?" asked Hermione hopefully, looking at Harry. Again "you're" instead of "you".

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #25, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Back To Hogwarts.

19th January 2009:
"Professor McGonagall shall stay for a short while, she has some things to express about you options, at school." said Dumbledore easily. Use the contraction "you're" instead of "your".

"She was shocked how Harry was talking to her, though knew he would still be angry at the attack." I think you need the word "she" between "though" and "knew" so it should say, "though she knew".

"Well, the Private tuition with the headmaster and the Potion's master, will be the same as last year." Please use "tutor" instead of "tuition". I just looked up the word tuition, and you are correct. It can be used the same as tutoring. I am sorry, I was mistaken.

"Me, Hermione, Luna and Ron need to think hard about getting married at such a young age." You should use the word I instead of me. "Hermione, Luna, Ron, and I"

"Harry nodded and then soon later left the room." It should say, "sooner or later left the room."

"They aren't coming on are they?" Should add the word "there". "They aren't coming on "there" are they?".

"Harry turned to Hermione, who was stood next to him." Either leave out the word "was", or use the word "standing" instead.

"Harry noticed that groups of muggles began to walk to opposite way, with a look of uncertainty on their faces." Take out "to" and replace it with "the".

"Ron, you said you was alright about it." Use the word "were" in place of "was".

"Me and Hermione are meant to be, just like you and Luna." Should say, "Hermione and I".

"ME AND LUNA ARE MEANT TO BE," "Luna and I".

"i CAN TELL YOU SOMETHING," i just needs to be capitilzed

"Harry wasn't sure what made him think of it, though knew what it was for." "He" needs to inserted. "though he knew what it was".

I hope you don't leave Harry and Hermione apart, that would be terrible.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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