it was a nice one-shot, a little short, but nice. Lucius seemed a lil OOC. i can't specifically imagine him opening up completely to someone, even the love of his life. if there was a way to convey how they met or how he first felt that spark, i think that would get the idea across a lil better. but this is just a little suggestion. however, in your summary, you tell the audience immediately what happens to her. maybe you could place a certain air of mystery. shadow the fact that she died with some other innuendo. again, though, just a suggestion. i liked this though. melanie is described beautifully. much love! ;) ~nomikkinAuthor's Response: Thanks! Yay! Uhhh, anyway, I only didn't say how they fell in love because I don't know it either. Melanie just appeared in my head as Lucius's dead wife... lol!
And I know he's OOC. I just can't write a canon Lucius, he's too mean. Thanks for the suggestions! Report Review
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