This story is kind of hard to read, since everything is bunched up and has a lot of run ons and the space bar isn't used very often between sentences. Other than that you have a good plot going on.

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Hi,I just read your story and I'm going to agree with all your other reviewers...this isn't exactly the greatest writing ever. You have potential but how you word it and how you use grammar and spelling is overall poor. There are lots of places where there are run-ons and missed commas and misspellings. Also you made Dumbledore sound dumb and Harry sound weird. Dumbledore used a lot of words, like stuff, which isn't something he'd do and Harry wouldn't go to Dumbledore right away like that. I am willing to help you fix these problems!Just take a look at my author's page and click the contact button. I'm a beta(someone who edits stories) and I can help you sort out your grammar and spelling and all of that stuff.I'll continue to read and review though. <3 Mya

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gaffed.... don't let it discourage you. The plot is interesting (if a bit unoriginal) but the AN's placed throughout annoy the <<tag not allowed="red">tag not allowed="red">censored out of readers. Work on it, it could improve.

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You have been GAFFed (GodAwful Fan Fiction) it's a website for reviews of the worst writers online. If you really want to write you should try asking for help with your grammar and spelling, or at least use a spellcheck. Why are you so arrogant? You have nothing to be arrogant about.

Author's Response: how the hell am i arrogant? i'm actually not arragant thanks anyway...not.

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LMAO nice parody. The inane jokes, the grammar mistakes, the incredible redundancy. I like the part where Dumbledore says Harry's name three times in a single sentance.

Author's Response: i didn't notice that until i read it again...it was quiete sad i'm going to delete this chapter cause its horrible and i might delete chap 3 too....

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Hmm... It was a little short but wy can't ron come he is my faviorite character :(

Author's Response: because there are going to be puzzles during in his adventure and hermione can figure them out and not ron.....i'd bring ron but then i would get stuck!!! bye bye!!

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Nice start, keep it up

Author's Response: thanks for the review and thank you i loved you story keep it up too!! bye!!!

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Hey great beginning! I like how it starts, keep up the good work and check out my story too if you want.

Author's Response: will do thank you for your comments!!!

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