This story kicks ass
I love it
Harry really is a ladies man, a very messed up ,drunk, depressed ladies man but one non the less lol
Check mine out some time
10/10 Report Review
Fantastic opening, amazing chapter, and a knock out conclusion. I'm not normally a fan of Cho Chang, but I'll tell you what, yours is certainly I a girl I could read more about. I'd love to read more... suppose I should check your Author's Page and see what else you've got out there :) Grammar errors here and there, but nothing so unruly as to detract from the merit of the piece. I loved every minute of it.
~C/PH1 Report Review
I saw this on the list of Dobby nominations, and decided to make my way over here. I was a bit unsure when I read your description. How on earth would you pull it off? Expertly, apparently. I found myself smiling as I read through this chapter, enjoying every moment of it. I could see the scenes moving like a movie through my mind’s eye, hearing the voices, the scenes flowing one into another… the dialogue- it was perfect. I’m not a fan of dark Harry, I’m generally opposed to the destruction of the boy hero in such a manner, but this hasn’t bothered me in the least, in fact I’ve rather enjoyed it. I can’t wait to read on!
OH MY GOD! thats the only way i can convey how this story took me. it started off slow but thats mostly cause i am not that big of a fan of this type of genre of writing, but bam right in my face. i was however very disappointed in finding myself finished so quickly. these stories need more. WAY MORE. you have a hell of a lot of talent. please keep writing. Report Review
This was a fantastic story. Man so dark!! Harry is such a pimp!! And killing Cho like that? Man he's hardcore... Great job and I hope to see more from you!! :) Report Review
God Luna I love you... so truthful and smart. The shirt was hilarious!! And Hermione... man losing Ron didn't cause her to lose her spunk thank god! Wonderful chapter!! Report Review
Very nice as usual. I love the relationship between him and Luna, very real and to the point. How I wish all relationships were like that. Report Review
Wow, I've been seeing this story around but I didn't think this was my style... man I was wrong!! I love this story!! Great job!! I can't believe it's only five chapters but I'm sure they are all awesome... I'm about to find out anyway... Report Review
Confuzzled much?! But I like it. Report Review
suspense. i like. can't wait 2 read the next chaps Report Review
Wow, this fic was really... unusual. In a good way! It reminds me a lot of the movie Sin City (probably the series it's based on too but I haven't read them so I can't say for sure...) Still, I can tell you haven't made a Sin City/HP crossover or ripped off Sin City or anything. I usually don't read this kind of fanfics but now I'm glad I did =) The grammar was a bit off sometimes, though, and where you end sentences and have commas and stuff like that too. Not that it's too annoying, just pointing it out ;) You have a really good plot going on here, I look forward to read the rest of the series. Oh and you have the AWESOMEST banner EVER! That Lucid or whoever made it really really is good!
Huh, I think this must've been the longest review I've ever written.. Feel honoured, haha! Report Review
All i can say is that this story reminded me a lot of the movie Sin City.
I loved Sin City Report Review
Wow. I'm sorry to hear this is the end of this fic but I'm glad to hear that there is going to be a start of a new one, a sequel at that too. You have not offended me in any way by changing the characters and I admit I have very much enjoyed reading this fic. You're words captivate me and I am lost in your world of intellectual grammar and abstract composion of words and events. You are so unique as a writer and your style is one to be admired. I look forward to your next fic and as always, I hope to read from you soon. Yours, Vini. Report Review
Great ending, Fallen Auror! Although the little sex scene seemed a bit random and squeezed in, I love how you ended with the beginning of something greater. I can definetely see where you got your influences with the vivid scenes you depict (Sin City, Matrix, etc.) and it's admirable how you developed your own style of writing through it. I know I'm being a bit biased here, but it's cool how you fit the Hong Kong background on Cho as I was born there myself hahaha. Talk about nationalistic pride here but I'm rambling. I look forward to the sequel to this story and I'll always be an avid reader of yours. Reading your material motivates me in becoming a better writer, even though I have no intention in writing a novel. Report Review
Hey, this was one bad-a** story. Quick , you got all the characters to come on the scene with style, the fight scenes were dramatic but not overdone..and the *ahem* adult situations sutied the whole dirty, film noir style.
What you have to check so that th ewriting moves more fluently is the comma and full stops after dialogues. This fic was a Great idea. It's even inspiring me to try a one shot in this style ..who knows? Thanks for giving out something original to sink my teeth in. Report Review
Excellent ending, feels very cloak and dagger with Kingsley and the scene with Cho was simply explosive, it gave me chills to see Harry rationalising killing her so that she wouldn't have to kill someone she loved...he really is that arrogant, I mean, it might be true...but to have him think that and make it all better for doing her in...And you're right about Cho...she's a pretty shallow character, I much prefer this kickbottom version of her. Looking forward to new additions to this universe, Ron!Author's Response: I have outlines for about three more five chapter novellas; now all I have to do is apply my self.
I am looking forward to developing more of the old characters in a world moved on fashion, and I still have plenty of ideas so the next story of “Fallen Auror” serial: “Breaking Point” should be out soon… well soonish
Thanks for your support
You know, I was just thinking about how much I deeply dislike Draco and how he ought to die painfully and in some sort of humiliating fashion... go on and make a girl's dreams come true, why don't you. Great scene there, the violence and the satisfaction that Harry got was portrayed very well.There's a complex matrix of relationships in this series and while Harry undoubtedly feels something for Ginny, his thoughts of Luna are interesting...they remind me of a younger, less cynical and more awkward Harry. You do like the cliffhangers, don't you?Author's Response: Thanks for the review, unfortunately I can’t kill Draco I see Great things for him, terrible things yes, but still great things. Or maybe ill just pairing him up with Hermione to the sombre tones Nu metal (for any one reading my reply the last statement was fictional, I have no intentions of writting a Draco/Hermione story, ever.) Report Review
wow...i didnt even realize this was over until i saw 'epilogue'. but im glad so see that there is going to be another part to this. there were some parts in here where it seemed as though words were missing, like: “Well that more encouraging the “No!” you normally give me.” i was thinking that should be: ...that's more encouraging than the... . but besides that, this 'novella' was great and i very much enjoyed reading itAuthor's Response: Thank you for pointing out the word mish I have now unmished Report Review
It was cool but very angst I do like it though soooo....GOOD JOB!Author's Response: thank you very much Report Review
.....unbelievable. I envy your writing talents in a good sense. I want to express how much this story impacts me but words can't seem to forge in my head and my fingers can't decide where to lay themselves on the keyboard. I am...in awe of your writing and I hope to read many more of these thrilling, entrancing chapters.Author's Response: Thanks for the encouragement I hope you enjoy the last chapter. Report Review
Lucid was right when she said this chapter was going to be good. The fact Draco is just a pawn to Walpurgis' family and the real weakness and fear he showed to Harry was undeniably realistic. That was very Godfather-ish of you but greatly pulled off! Also, Hermione's presence to Harry seem to bring a sense of peace to him, even though he still feels guilt about Ron's death. How like Harry to blame himself for his best mates' death even though Hermione's living proof of forgiveness is right in front of him. Although you have small tense and spelling mistakes, this chapter was very enjoyable to read.Author's Response: I’m really glad you liked Draco’s punishment, and thank you for your critic. I have been over the chapter and the Harry Vs. assassin was full of tense mistakes. I am trying to write in the style of Harry recollecting his tale to another and at some points he even relives it. This requires a balance of past and present tense, which makes it easy to over look discrepancies, when assembling the final draft. Thanks for pointing them out. Report Review
this story is amazing! i love your style and just the way you use words. i cant wait til the next chapter is out!Author's Response: I’m working on the last chapter now and I have ideas for the next episode in the series. Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
lol! that was great...here i was thinking 'what has she got up her sleeve' and there it was! lol...this chapter was so great! i love the darkness of this story and just the way you write!Author's Response: thank you for the encouragement and your reveiw Report Review
wow...this was a powerful chapter! i love those short sentence-d paragraph things...it makes that part seem almost rushed and jumbled, its a nice touch. i would say this is a nasty cliffhanger...if i couldnt just press that little next button...lolAuthor's Response: I’m glad you like the pace, it’s a pity you did not read the story when published... I could have tortured you with the wait for the next chapter. Report Review
this is a great beginning and it sounds like this is going to be a wonderful story!Author's Response: thanks for the reveiw hope you enjoy Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection