Reading Reviews for Fall Into Darkness
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jamie_Malfoy Saying Goodbye

10th December 2005:
Amazing chapter. I loved it. Update soon!!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! <3

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Review #2, by videlsje Lost

12th November 2005:
I liked this one please update soon

Author's Response: Thanks =) I'm trying lol! <3

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Review #3, by Jamie_Malfoy Lost

10th November 2005:
Loved this chapter. It was amazing. I can't wait to see what happens next, so update ASAP!!!

Author's Response: Aw thank you very much <3

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Review #4, by Jamie_Malfoy Preparation and Opportunity

5th November 2005:
I love the story. Update soon!!!

Author's Response: Thank you very much =) The next chapter is neeearly done <3

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Review #5, by laughable_black_storm Preparation and Opportunity

25th October 2005:
Great chapter once again, but you have quite a few comma mistakes, whether you put them in the wrong spot or they are missing. I like how you brought Snape into this chapter and used his little 'tricks' like in HBP, it was creative.

Author's Response: Thanks =D Thank you very much for continuing to review this, I really do appreciate it. <3

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Review #6, by laughable_black_storm Deal

25th October 2005:
Well done, though I agree with you that it was a filler chapter. However, everyone needs one of those once in a while to help with the story. In your first paragraph you have the sentence "... as though everything was normal, which further annoyed Sita." I think it would flow better if you put it as "... as though everything was normal, which annoyed Sita further." Also, I think it looks better if the spells are put in italics. I am starting to think, however, that Sita is a little bit Mary Sue, but that's just my opinion.

Author's Response: Thanks for the pointers =) Sadly I'm beginning to think that too <_< I'm hoping in the next chapter or two to get her away from being such. Thanks for leaving a review <3

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Review #7, by videlsje Preparation and Opportunity

18th October 2005:
update soon please

Author's Response: Will do =) I'm nearly finished the next chapter. Thanks for reading so far, I'm glad you like it ^_^ <3

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Review #8, by laughable_black_storm More Than Friends?

15th October 2005:
Lovely chapter once again. I can't find any grammar or spelling errors, and your dialogue was great. I can sense a bit of protectiveness in Rabastan *raises eyebrows* and something's happening with Sirius.

Author's Response: Thanks =) I hope you like the next few chapters, I don't know really what to think of them lol ;) <3

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Review #9, by laughable_black_storm Mudblood

13th October 2005:
Great chapter. I like how you're able to keep the point of view soley on Sita instead of accidently (or purposely) jumping around. I like how Sita and Sirius seem to challenge each other in an odd little way.

Author's Response: Thanks! That's one thing I am/was bad at, but my Beta saved me heh. Glad you liked it. <3

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Review #10, by laughable_black_storm Slytherin Pride

8th October 2005:
Wow, great chapter. Sorry it took me so long to review, I don't know what happened ... anyway, the review: your grammar and spelling is great, I can tell you proofread with care (my old English teacher would be proud :D). I find the chapter title really tied in to the chapter well and I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks very much for leaving one =D Bad grammar/spelling tends to drive me nuts (as do the little red/green lines under words in word). I'm glad you liked it <3

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Review #11, by videlsje Deal

6th October 2005:
update soon

Author's Response: I will be =) I'm nearly finished with the next chapter. I'm glad you're enjoying it <3

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Review #12, by Ever Lasting Nightmare Diagon Alley

1st October 2005:
Hi, you asked me to review awhile ago. Sorry for the delay, I got caught up in my problems. I like the premise of this story, the blending of your own charactors with the mix of J.K's. It's very interesting. Your family reminds me of the Malfoy family, your charactor (Sita) is like Draco turned into a girl(With nicest.) P:. I love the combination of detail and dialogue. It's like my own style which is built off Hemingway and Anne Tylor.(You probulary don't know what I'm talking about) It is always a good start to mix description into dialogue. Now for improving your skills- Here is something most writers do: explain. Instead of dreams or flashbacks, show your readers through dislogue. Explain what happen in the past while adding tension and drama.(I think you did that pretty well though) Keep the energy level high, let your readers figure things out for themselves, but don't confuse them too much. Focuse on other well know charactors as well, you want your readers to like your charactor, but you also want them to have a leading interest in Sirius, James, etc. Make your charactor(Sita)go through a lot of trouble, danger, etc. Let readers feel her pain.(It helps.) I really liked your ideas, keep writing. I'll be reading, even if I don't leave a review for every chapter. Nice work!

Author's Response: No worries about the delay, thanks for reviewing. Thanks very much for your input, I really appreciate the points you've made. I'll def. be taking them into consideration. Thanks again <3

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Review #13, by Lucid Slytherin Pride

7th September 2005:
I really like your use of language with speech, and I also like your characterisation of Sita, shes not your average OC, she has depth and character, I really hope that you continue giving her those things, which I think are essential for characters to grow. I liked Rastaban too, your characterisation there, too is great. Hope that you keep up with it :)

Author's Response: I am so relieved to read that Sita has character (Rabastan too obviously). Thank you very much, I'll do my best to keep it up =) <3

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Review #14, by essenceoffantasy Back to School

7th September 2005:
what I really like in your story is that contrary to what most people think about slytherins {cold, heartless, not-a-care-for-other-people} you have Sita and her friends. I really liked how you added 'reassuring glance' and 'sympathic gesture' to your story. It really does make a big difference, since most people think slytherins don't have friends and yadda yadda. Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks! I think Slytherins are very misunderstood. They may be heartless to everyone else, but within their own cliques I find it hard to believe they'd be just as cold ;) Thanks so much for reviewing <3

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Review #15, by essenceoffantasy Diagon Alley

7th September 2005:
Hello! I'm reviewing in response to the reviewing game. First off, I absolutley love your balance between dialogue and narration. Since your narration is quite descriptive and great detail, your dialogue is much appreciated when it appears. Yay! and I really love your ideas, such as 'the nasty giant squid incident', buying a new broom, ect. Good job! Next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to review =) I'm glad there's a balance between the two, heh I wasn't sure how it came across. <3

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Review #16, by laughable_black_storm Back to School

4th September 2005:
This was a very good chapter ... do I detect a bit of romance between Sita and Sirius? Your grammar is good and so is your spelling, you have good sentence structure and your plot is developing well ... I seem to repeat the same things over and over again in my reviews, I need to work on that ...

Author's Response: Thank you ^_^ I have a great Beta ;) And I dunno, do you? *waves arms mystically* LOL! <3

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Review #17, by laughable_black_storm Diagon Alley

29th August 2005:
This story was ... interesting. It'll be nice to see where you take it.

Author's Response: lol thanks for reviewing ^_^ <3

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