“ My mom she –she – she has been put in Azkaban prison” said TK “ What…why she there what did she do? Ask Harry “ It said that she kill my father she shot my father ten times” said TK ‘Oh she maybe that why she wasn’t home ‘said Harry “Yeah but should of told me were she was going…”said TK You really need to work on that bit! Seriously... So...she's Dumbledore's granddaughter, is she? And she's been living with muggles?? Why? Where did she live? Privet Drive? How did she know Harry? Why didn't Harry tell the Dursley's that he was leaving? He always does that, even if it's just on a note. I would really like to help you write. I can't be your beta, since I'm not the greatest speller in the world either....! I just have one final question: Do you have a plan for this story? Do you know where it's going? Please answer my reviews as quickly as you can. I would love to hear what you have to say about this, and I hope I didn't upset you. I think this can develop into a beautiful fic! Lotsa luv ~ Sam M

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Your chapters need to be LONGER. This is very important. Look, I don't understand much about your story, but DON'T delete it! I want to help you, if you want to of course.

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Yes, that was incredibly short. May I ask how old you are? Where do you come from? Do you take writing seriously? You really should try to get your story beta read. I could barely read it. Btw, who's TK?? You need to present te character before you throw it into your story! Where are they? Surroundings! Emotions! And, of course, language!! Why would Harry yell YAY ? Work on it. That would be my advice. ~ Sam M

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Hey, maybe you should try punctuating. I could barely understand that. Oh well, It was okay.

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good begging. but im wanting to ask you,whos OC.I never knew that can you please review go ask ginny or shadows

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I like this

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