I have read this before but I like it so I'm reading it again.

I just wanted to say that I have noticed that you have gotten a lot better on you other stories and I hope that you continue writing your stories are some of my favorites.

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Love it so far!!!:) I'm gonna be up all night!!

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Ok seriously let Harry make up with his Grandfather

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As others have said, the Dursley's turn around and the Harry/Hermione relationship does seem slightly rushed. Otherwise very good

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I don't know what is the end. I still have to read it but I absolutely don't like the way your story is taking shape. There are a lot of flaws. Harry can not be so arrogant even if he has a lot of new powers. He will never talk to Albus so badly. This is an insult to the original Albus' character. I am very disappointed. Secondly, there is too much romance. Soul-mate, my girl, your girl, babes and shit. Keep it all to a minimum. The plot is really very good but I suggest that you edit your story. Because you have a good imagination. Very good actually. Learn how to play with words. All the best. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and I do appreciate your comments. Love Before Death and Life After Evil do have many many flaws, as do my later stories. However they were the original works. I found myself reading over a few chapters not long ago and found myself almost cringing!

I think the plots on them are strong, but naturally the writing style and flow of the story lacked somewhat.



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great story mate im fixing to start on the sequel i finished this one off in good time by the way 10 of 10

Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I am glad you enjoy it so far and I hope you continue to read my better stories.

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wow oh man this so great i feel really bad for draco oh man whats gonna happend now

Author's Response: Glad you continue to like! Please continue through my entire stories.

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wow this sotry is awesome i love all ur stories they r the best fanfic of all

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and I'm glad you like it. I hope you continue and enjoy the rest.

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gradual my friend gradual. way to fast way to quick. Establish some back story behind their feelings. Lots of potential though.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. When writing this story I didn't know what to write or how to write it for an audience, I just wanted to write. This is why is is so fast paced. This is something I have improved on and can be reflected throughout my stories.

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I like the idea of a turn around with the dursleys but it would have to be gradual and not so sudden. Since they hated him for so long it seems way too unfeasible for them to do an instant 360. besidesthat enjoying so far.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. This transition was a trial, I will never write a story with the Dursley's like this again, it doesn't fit how I like my stories.

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You need to get your work Beta'd.
It sounds like English is not your native language.
I see a lot of incorrect prepositions used; of, from, to, etc.
If you send me a chapter, I edit it for you and show you what I mean. My address is rold3atyahoodotcom

Author's Response: Thanks for the offer but I don't need it. When I wrote my beginning stories I didn't really know how to write. The only reason why I've left them on the site is purely to show a comparison between how I was then and how I am now. Read a chapter from Rise of The New Lords and you'll know what I mean.

English is my native language, I just wasn't educated in writing when I first wrote on this site.

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all the love parts are very cliche its almost nauseating how perfect it all is with out any problems or fights so unrealistic

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. Again, experimental story.

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your getting rid of all of his enemies which once again i like the idea of bc harry needs all the help he can get but i can almost picture voldermort bowing out at this rate you make all passed grievances just disappear too easily without being earned or anything its boring the only thing keeping me reading is your awesome ideas like i said before build them make them memorable, beautiful, and the plot intricate and youll have any read completely engrossed

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. This story was all experimental. When I was writing it, I wasn't sure what fanfiction was and what I had to write like. I was a bad writer and therefore I tried writing alternatively from the books. Some worked, some didn't.

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you need to work on your grammar a little bit for example "What was you two doing last night?" he asked with a smile.
it should be... what WERE you two doing last night. because the action you are speaking about would have already happened and therefore is past tense

Author's Response: Yeah my grammar was bad in these stories. It has improved. However, you need to be aware of the fact that it is dialogue and therefore it's how the character says it in the first place.

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the love between harry and Hermione is as equally rushed as the Dursely's acceptance, you have to show the reader things through detail not tell them and summarize so much. you have great ideas but you have to build them up more support them

Author's Response: That is one of many problems with these two stories. They're wrote terribly and are rushed. These were my first ever stories and I had no idea what to expect. Therefore try my newer ones out to see my improvements.

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i like the the idea of the dursley's acceptance of harry but i think u should make it more gradual considering how much they hated him before it seems a little idealistic for it just to happen out of the blue and entirely at once.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. The thing with the Dursleys is that they're only in the story for a very short amount of time and besides, it was an experiment. One which will never be done again.

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YAY MALFOY ISN'T EVIL ANYMORE!!! GOOD FOR HIM!!!

Author's Response: Yep, it was something I decided to try out. You might want to read on though ;).

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ITS GREAT! PLEASE MAKE A SERIES OF BOOKS!!!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. This story has a sequel and I have other stories online. I hope you go on to reading them.

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A very enjoyable story so far - perhaps a bit more description would be nice but it's fun to read a story where the characters are more canon-like and not so hateful as they are in some stories.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. Although this story is wrote pretty badly, it has some good plot lines. I tried many things with this story. A majority of those were interesting to see the results of, even if I do not use them again.

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i always thought harry had better grammar

Author's Response: Do not focus on dialogue too much, dialogue can have errors as it's how the character is talking. However, my grammar in this story and its sequel are extremely poor. Read on to my newer stories to see the improvement.

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TO NICE! TO NICE! DOES NOT COMPUTE!! DOES NOT COMPUTE!! IT'S THE END OF THE WOLD!!!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. I decided to give it a try! Since we never see them being kind. It will be something I shall never do again.

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sorry... but, this isn't very good writing. You should get your tense usage down for one thing, but even if you had done that well it doesn't have very good dialogue or plot.

Author's Response: First story - first failure. Try my newer stories for a berrt read.

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ok over kill with malfoy crying and hugs and snape being friendly, the dursleys being nice was fine since they knew they would die with out him

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. The Dursley's, Malfoy and Snape were experiments with this story. I was testing their characters differently and discovered I didn't like it. I shall not do it again in future.

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this is getting good!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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I like that Snape is not being a pain with Harry

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. I thought I'd try something new with him.

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