Hallo there! well this is a nice beginning, it is hard to tell if the plot is going to work from this one chapter, but I am looking forward to finding out! Ok a couple of comments; This is a bit on the short side, it is ok for a first chapter (in my opinion) but you hould think about making the following chapters somewhat longer, to get the reader really captured! and one last thing; Don't use u instead of you it is confusing to read, well it is your choise of course! Hope this was an ok review! Hiduras Report Review
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