hey i dont know if anyone informed you and im sorry to do this as this is a good story and i enjoyed your other series the new marauders, but in the past couple of chapters you mixed up at least two of the characters you wrote that bill was a dragonmaster and charlie was married to fleur i think but wasn't it the other way around charlie the dragonmaster and bill married to fleur. just fyi. it kind of confused me at first and just wondering if it was intentional or not. keep up the good work

Author's Response: Wasn't intentional, and keep meaning to fix it really. Life just never offers me a spare minute to do so.

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I am totally loving the way your story is going right now. Everything is fresh and new and not something that has been alluded to in a dozen other stories. And your characters are painted in bold strokes. Really, just fabulous.

Author's Response: Thank you. That story is begging for an edit though. I really need to fix that when I have time. I'm glad you enjoy it.

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Excellent writing so far...you definatly write a more mature Harry! Excellent story! 10/10
Odence

Author's Response: Why, thank you.

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Hmm..he does seem a little bit...cold? I dunno..gona have to read on and see how you write Him..but so far so good! Just a few mechanical errors. 9/10
Odence

Author's Response: Okay, I understand. Feel free to explain errors. I learn from one mistake to the next I feel.

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Well you did a wonderful job of recapping everything that has happened in Harrys life up until he killed Voldemort..As for seeing if i like the story..ill have to read on but so far i like your style and your mechanics are good..10/10 so far!
Odence

Author's Response: Thanks, but thats really not one of my best. I appreciate your comments though.

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Nice Reunion 10/10

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it.

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Wow, you did a great job with Harry's background you have done a great job with all this I love the lightning bolt 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you again. I'm glad you like it.


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This is a really cool story I love new Harry! This is full of suspense I love this story! 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you.

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This is really building up suspense I like the dialouge it is relly realistic

Author's Response: Thank you. I do try to do the best I can.

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this is really good I am going to go read more now 10/10

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it.

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the basic concept of your story is interesting but your writing is pretty bad. word construction and grammar, how you express and develop characterization and feelings is all very juvenile. in short, my friend, you need a beta. there are plenty of good ones on this site. if you look around there are others if none on this site suite. i hate to see a potentially excellent piece brought down for such technical reasons or i wouldn't bother.

Author's Response: Oh, that story... That was actually an act of writers block. I started writing when I couldn't write anything else and that's exactly what came out. I've ssaid before I want to rewrite it, but unfortunately I'm always stuck with more stories bursting through my mind every day. I apologize for the way it worked out, and I hope that I can fix it one day, but between writing more fan fiction as well as trying some of my own stories I always seem to have so little time. I hope you can forgive that one. I do thank you for your review and agree with you on every point you've mentioned. I hope you have a good day.

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i liked the story. just wish you added at least one last chapter of the wedding.

Author's Response: I actually put up a one shot of the wedding. Its on here.

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don't let it go into the trash heap. even if your chapters are short you would just have to write more chapters to finish out the story then.

Author's Response: I wish that were true for that story. I'm glad you like it though.

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Keep writing, you are very, very good. I have just one complaint -- this was way, way too short! Just a teaser. Most of the characters and situations weren't developed anywhere near enough. Seems like most of your attention and creativity was on the other story you were writing and you just rushed thru this one.

Author's Response: Well actually, this story probably shouldn't have been a story. It was just something that got stuck in my head and what if'd itself into being when I had a bit of writers block. Such things happen at times. I often think of going back through and trying to make it better, but I never seem to have time anymore.

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What about Molly's clock that tells the status of every one in her family?

Author's Response: Ah, a thought that can truly come back to bite me in the ass. Best way to explain it was that she was busy handling Christmas things. No one ever looks at a clock 24/7. The clock would have had to point to mortal peril obviously. Best I can think up anyway. You've got me dead to rights on that one.

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awsome story!!! but I whant to know about the Wedding!
how 'bout an eploque?

Author's Response: Please read the one shot the wedding.

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just wanted to say i loved your story and i hope you continue writing more like it.

Author's Response: Thank you. I appreciate that.

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Just to let you know u have gotten charlie and bills roles mixed up, bill married fleur and charlie works with dragons in romania.

Author's Response: Yeah, I've heard about that. I have managed to fix it in my writing but I seem to forget to update here. I'll try to get that done asap. Thanks for reminding me.

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WRITE A WEDDING AND A HONEYMOON AND A SEQUAL!!!! puh-lease!!!! WAIT nm... there is a sequal haha lollololol
great story!!! 10/10 for the whole damn thang!

Author's Response: lol I'll leave the honeymoon alone. I'll write a sequel when I can. As I say to everyone I have three stories open and need to finish at least two of those before I work on another. Sad thing is my writers block on those is making me write another anyway lol.

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i really like it so far.

Author's Response: I'm glad you do.

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Excellent story, very well writen and brilliant plot. Thanks for a very enjoyable read :)

Author's Response: Well, you're very welcome. Not many have thanked me for a story but your thanks are appreciated. I'm very glad you liked it.

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I hate the end...... You should wright the wedding and some thing about Potter children... you know.. The end is just do dry! poke. the end!!!!!!!!!!!! You should realy put something else in it...... Maybe a new evil dude guy.. some thing like that. please and thank you...

Author's Response: Wrote a one shot of the wedding. I have too many stories open right now to start a new one. When I am finished with the ones I'm writing maybe I will write some more.

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Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks

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This is a wonderful story, and there is no way that I could possibly hate it!

Author's Response: Glad to hear that. I wasn't too happy with the ending but it was all I could come up with. Glad you liked it thanks for reviewing.

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this story was awsome . PLEASE WRITE MORE !!!!!!!!

Author's Response: There is a oneshot of the wedding scene. Too many unfinished stories to write another book at the moment.

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