He did not care if he died- he cared whether or not Penelope Clearwater still loved him when he died... Sort of sums it up, nice line. I think expanding this may only make it over melodramatic ... less is more in short peices.. good jobAuthor's Response: thank you! :) Report Review
Oh, that was so sad! I love it, it's beautiful!Author's Response: Thank you so much, Vatina! :) Report Review
Oh wow. Really incredible! And i love how you brought an anecdote from the bible in. It fit so well! I'm really impressed with this. It was such a creative story as well. Keep it up!Author's Response: I wasn't sure about how the quote from the Bible would be received, but I'm glad you like it. Thank you so much, Snuffles_Snogger! Hehe, I like your penname. Report Review
You wrote Percy’s point of view amazingly! Some authors forget that no matter how abused someone’s reasoning is from another point of view, it generally makes sense to the person. Percy is not the easiest person to write, but you did a fantastic job!
I think I saw only one spelling issue, but most people would not even notice it. I would have liked to see more of Percy’s reflection on the past as well as his thoughts on how he had come to that point, but you did a great job on showing Penelope’s feelings. If you were just a tiny bit more descriptive it might have helped, but that might just be me.
Your ability to show feeling in your writing is fantastic! None of your characters seem under developed or one sided. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: One man's error is another man's belief, I guess. Percy is such an interesting character at some points in the book, where you can believe that he has many things going on for him. While reading HP I often questioned his path and eventually those questions led to this story (Oh, and Marisa was an inspiration. Her care for Percy is unsurpassable :P). Eeeek, those spelling errors again! I will try to find them, but I doubt I'll come up successful... Thank you for your very nice reviews, Siofra!! Report Review
Great story, nice flow ;)
Just wondering, though. Why is the same story both here and in Urvi's story "The Notebook of Weasley Romances"?Author's Response: Urvi's story is a collection of Weasley romances and I contributed to it. Thanks for reading my story, ChizzaLazty! Report Review
Oh my goodness, heartbreaking, but beautiful all the same. The feelings and the strength of them was evident here and it was positively marvelous.Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much! I'm so happy you like it! Report Review
That was brilliant. I can see why Marisa would absolutely love this, what with all the Pomp and Circumstance fuss. You're a very talented writer. That last quote there was the best though.
~InfairiAuthor's Response: Thank you so much, Infairi! :) It's really nice of you to say that. Report Review
Very good again! Great descriptions, especially the imagary you used around Percy, outside and in and is most cleverly conveyed during the final paragraphs. One thing though - a massacre of the Weasleys and Harry! Aaaah nightmare! It would be good if followed this with a one-shot or story revealing what a post-Voldemort victory wizarding world would be like. A bit like 'Fatherland' describing what the world would be like if Hitler won the second world war. Disturbing, but would make a cracking read. You get some of that already with the darkness you described outside. A challenge if you want it!Author's Response: Interesting idea. . . Mmm- definitely something to think about. Thank you for the kind review, marauderin_around! Report Review
So sad!!! It's kind of hard to follow. Did Percy follow Vodemort? Does Penelope still love him? Other than that is an excelent story.Author's Response: Thanks for the review, SadforSirius. Percy followed Voldemort (whether it was voluntary or not is for you to decide. . . Elfy would've been bothered if I made Perce too evil, haha. :P) and Penelope still loved him, yes. I'm sorry that it was hard to understand. Report Review
This is your best story Sophia, no competition. 'Perfection' is the only word I can use. You took a hardly-remembered couple and gave them a life of their own. Percey's thoughts were particularly striking and the ending line was just magnificent, the icing on the cake (the cake being the many-layered emotional journey of Percy lol). I am definitely adding this to my favourite stories. Thank you for writing this mind-blowing story. One of the best I've ever read.Author's Response: Really? Thanks so much, Anastasia. Thank you for reading and reviewing. Report Review
ohh i loved it. very well written! a very rare ship to find in a fic =]Author's Response: Thanks, invisible_spirit! Report Review
That was really well written. I love the emotion within in the story and the choice of quote at the end rounds it off nicely. A really good job!Author's Response: Thank you for all of your kind reviews, elfbwillow. Report Review
This was brillliant - I was slightly confused to begin with but I realised what was happening later on. Great work!Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review, flames_of_fawkes. Report Review
OH, wow. I feel for him-which is silly, considering how I hated him in the fifth book. Oh, and by the way, is the Bible quote from Proverbs? It sounds like it is. (On a side note, ginny_lover changed his name to harrys_brother). It was really good; it touched my heart. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Hello, Ginny_lover! What happened to your other story? Anyhow. . . Bible quote? I'm not sure exactly where I found it, but I do know that it's from the Bible. . . Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Very very powerful work here, Sophia. Everything about this is wonderful...the pov you've chosen, the dialogue, the emotions and descriptive actions that give away your characters inner emotions....everything was right on target. Impressive work.Author's Response: Thanks, timeturner! :) Report Review
Another good one! The title for this story is good, by the way. I noticed there were some grammar errors in here, but nothing too bad. Nice job!-AmberEloquenceAuthor's Response: Grammar, grammar, grammar. My worst enemy. :-\ Report Review
That was extremely well written! The end was so sad! I want to cry =( I loved this story though, you are extremely talented, I hope this gets 100 reviews, because you deserve them = ) -AngelaAuthor's Response: This didn't win the challenge it was for. *cries* But I'm so glad that you like it, because it's the readers that count for me. :) Report Review
Awww. This was sad, but it was good. ♥KatieAuthor's Response: Author's Response: Thank you, Katie. :) Report Review
Great job! This has come so far from the draft that I've read. You've added in so much more emotion and description. Not to be nit-picky, or anything, but when Percy said "It may have been my fault, but I could help it" did you mean to say "but I couldn't help it?" Anyways, lovely read!Author's Response: Thanks, FaymosAmos. No, you're not at all nit-picky, you're wonderful! :) Report Review
*squeals with joy* I love it! I absolutely love it! It's one of the best works of fanfiction I've read, and that's not only because it was dedicated to me. The way you perfectly portrayed Percy and Penelope; the way you not only stuck to the canonness of their characters, but brought them to life; the way you balanced descriptions and dialogue and actions and everything else; it was all absolutely wonderful. Thank you!Author's Response: Haha, thank you! Without your 'I love Percy' campaign, I would have never forgiven him. I guess this was my 'Oh, it's not your fault that you turned your back on your family' explanation to myself and him. :P I like the dedication too! :) Report Review
Ooo...that was certainly gloomy. The ending paragraph was the twist, right? (don't mind me, I can be a bit dense). Well done!Author's Response: I'm sometimes dense too. :P I figured the twist was when Percy said that Voldemort made him turn his back on his family, but whatever works, right? :P Thanks for reading my story, urvi- you're such a great writer yourself, that it's such a compliment to have you read my story! Report Review
Wow. I obviously never thought of Percy like that. You were really able to change my perspective of him. You did a magnificent job of drawing me in and making me understand him. I really enjoyed reading this.Author's Response: Hooray! I really liked the challenge. . . Thanks for the challenge (and review), starblack! :) Report Review
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